We've Tried It

We’ve tried it
in the bedroom.
We’ve tried it
in the hall.
We’ve even tried it
up against the wall.
We’ve tried it
in the kitchen.
We’ve tried it
in the lounge.
We’ve really tried
moving it around.
We’ve tried it
in the conservatory,
on those long cold
winter nights.
But somehow there,
it just didn’t seem right.
We’ve tried it
in the dinning room,
after we’d had dinner.
Another place where
it really wasn’t a winner.
We’ve tried it
in the bathroom.
We’ve tried it
nearly everywhere
Although there is one place
we’ve never tried it,
for the risk of
sliding down the stairs.
There’s somewhere
I’d like to try it,
but of that you were
quite emphatic.
There’s no way you
were having it in the attic.
I know you like it
very much,
but at the risk
of sounding deploring.
That rug of yours,
is just a nasty piece of flooring.