I'm Gonna Die

I'M GONNA DIE

At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without food by my side
Then I gained so many pounds and thought just how they did me wrong
Tried to grow strong
But I just couldn't get along

And now I'm fat, my health is gone
I weigh fifteen hundred pounds and wear size eighty-one
I would have done what Jared said
I would have become carbo-free
If I had known for just one second what all that fat would do to me

Go on now, laugh, then laugh some more
Just let it out now
I know just what you're laughing for
Weren't you the one who tried to reach around my thighs?
Did you think you'd do it?
Do you think I'm gonna survive?
Oh no not I, I'm gonna die
Oh, I'm morbidly obese and I just wanna sit and cry
I've got one year left to live
And my heart's about to give
I'm gonna die
I'm gonna die
Hey hey

It takes all the strength I have to try to exercise
And my doctors finally told me that it isn't wise
And I spend oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I hate to cry - what if I hold my head up high
And try to be somebody new?
I'm not some chained up little person eating diet food
All those dietitians told me I should cut my calories
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for the things I love to eat

Go on now, go, give me some more
Just pile it on now
I'm eating calories galore
Weren't you the one who wouldn't let me eat the fries?
Did you think I'd leave 'em?
Do you think I'm tryin' to survive?
Oh no not I, I'm gonna die
Oh, there's no way I can stop it, so why should I even try?
I've got chips and fries and steak
I've got ice cream, I've got cake
Pass me a pie
I'm gonna die
Hey hey


***


For your comparison (because I know you like this stuff), the original text of Gloria Gaynor's song, "I Will Survive":


At first I was afraid, I was petrified
Kept thinkin' I could never live without you by my side
Then I spent so many nights thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along

And so you're back from outer space
I just walked in to find you here, with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I had known for just one second you'd be back to bother me

Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
'Cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I, I will survive
For as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey

It took all the strength I had not to fall apart
Just trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart
And I spent oh so many nights just feeling sorry for myself
I used to cry, but now I hold my head up high
And you see me, somebody new
I'm not that chained up little person still in love with you
And so you felt like dropping in and just expect me to be free
But now I'm savin' all my lovin' for someone who's lovin' me

Go on now, go walk out the door
Just turn around now
You're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye?
Did you think I'd crumble?
Did you think I'd lay down and die?
Oh no not I, I will survive
Oh as long as I know how to love, I know I'll stay alive
I've got all my life to live
And I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive
Hey hey