Remember back when...

Remember Back When...

          During school we'd race out during free period, or just totaly skip something
all together, just to find a secluded spot to hang out. When we got back to school, we would fly into class late and usually ended up with detention or something, but well worth it.

         We celebrated snow days usually on the phone, stammering or complaining if someone else wanted to use it. Any homework seldom was ever done. And if it was, it was usually wrong. Sneaking pecks whenever possible, usually hidden behind some lockers or stairwells somewhere. Holding hands between classes whenever possible or until we got yelled at. Staying up late just to write another 6 page crazy letter before morning.

          Then we got older and more serious. And we explained how much life scared us but then thought oh....this is peaches and cream. Complete jealousy raged if one or the other was caught laughing or having fun with the opposite sex. Soon we would see each other less and less, and the puppy love would fade, until another person or thought changed it all again. And when one suggested that our friendship had been abnormal all along, because we loved each other too much, one would say that they completely agree, and yet neither wanted to actually hear it.

         So now it's different and when we meet, I will say,"Hi!"and"You look great!" And you would say," Wow... You havn't changed a bit!"Knowing that is completely untrue. Our eyes would meet and possibly our hands might touch, then we would be silent, forcing down old images of years passed, trying not to convince ourselves of anything out of line, and thinking about the what if's. After a while I'll say... "Isn't it crazy how quickly time goes by, and I think you were the first boy I loved, and some times I miss high school, now isn't that a weird thing to say?"

         Then you will mess with the dial on the radio for awhile, and look out the window and say, " I don't know, I try not to think about those days." And then while you keep your knuckles clenched tight and white and wrapped around the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to say or not to say,"Do you want me to
drop you off now?"