The Legless Spider

Writer's Cramp: Write a story or poem about a spider who loses all his legs.

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I used to have eight perfect, symmetrical feet.
In appearance, I was once a geometrical treat.
But then one day a heavy door slammed kaput,
And I lost one leg, and, of course, my boot.

I suppose back then, I started hobbling a bit,
But worse was that my wife had an awful snit.
Just ‘cause I complained when it hurt at night.
So she bopped me on the leg when we had a fight.

Now that wasn't too bad; six is easier by far.
And my wife did say that it was a handsome scar.
But then one day while I was walking the road,
I was struck in the leg by a falling commode.

Well that was bad, but the smell was even worse.
And my wife started saying I had a serious curse.
And when a Weed Eater got my fifth silly leg.
I guess I should have expected that rolling keg!

Well three legs is not all that very bad, you know
‘Though my wife started calling me her domino.
Still there's many an animal that doesn't have three,
And there's nothing that comes with a guarantee.

So I tripped and I fell, but still I walked about,
And would have done fine but for the waterspout.
It caught at the leg which was number three
And ripped it off, and it was absentee.

So I tottered on two; it wasn't really easy;
I started to look like a whole new specie.
My wife went about asking for city aid
But all they'd give her was an old Band Aide.

All looked grim when a cow walked over,
Stepping in puddles and clumps of clover.
No sooner did I scoot to get out of her way
Than that cow turned both my legs into geleé.

With no legs to walk, I was a dreadful mess.
I was very distraught, I must truly confess.
The cow picked me up and put me down on her tail.
Don't you see, said she. Here's the plan; it can't fail.

You can catch all the flies that hover around,
And you won't have to crawl across any ground.
So now you can find me in the tail of that cow.
And I'm happy as punch for there's plenty of chow!


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