IF - Two Versions

You will find two poems here. The first was written in the year 2000 when a friend asked me to write my own version of 'IF' to describe the bad time I was going through. The second version was written after my recovery. IF it brings comfort to anyone who is feeling a little lost then it has served its purpose.

IF

If I could stop my troubled brain from whirling
And lose this sense of utter hopelessness.
If I could face the day with hope and courage
And learn to cope and deal with my own stress.
If I could wait and find that there’s a purpose,
Or know just what it is I’m waiting for.
If I could find the joy in living,
Then hold it in my heart and long for more.


If I could dream then wake to find it’s happening,
If I could think that I can handle life.
If I could find my buried sense of humour
To help me through this awful time of strife.
If I could rise and feel that something
Was worth the effort that it takes.
If I could stop the terror and the panic,
Discard the tablets; stop the shakes.


If I could find the energy that’s missing,
Enthusiasm for one single thing.
If I could see the funny side of problems,
Then smile and laugh and even try to sing.
If I could iron and not be bored by ironing,
Or wash the pots without a single care.
If I could cook a meal and then enjoy it.
Walk the dog; appreciate the air.


If I could sort out my emotions
And know for sure just where my feelings lie.
If I could face my work with all it’s problems,
Build up the confidence I need to try.
If I could fill each day instead of thinking,
Wash all this self pity from my brain.
If I could do all this starting tomorrow,
Then I’d be myself and feel alive again.

IF

If I can rise above the dark clouds of depression
And learn to face each day with faith and hope.
If I can cast aside the fears and tremors,
Pick up the shattered pieces; learn to cope.
If I can find a way out of the horror
That once controlled my every waking thought.
If I can feel with every fibre of my being
That it was worth the battle that I fought.


If I can turn my dreams into reality
Find the strength to face my deepest fears.
If I can see the funny side of problems
And fill each day with smiles instead of tears.
If I can use my thoughts to nurture goodness
Find energy to work and to achieve.
If I can value every minute’s worth of pleasure
Maintain this strong conviction to believe.


If I can take the bad times with the good ones,
Eradicate the blues with hopeful thought.
If I stay calm when all around is chaos,
Then I have found the peaceful state I sought.
If I can live my life now free of tablets,
Find solace in the natural things in life.
If I can tackle all the day throws at me,
Handle all the challenges and strife.


If I can leave bad memories behind me,
Forget the problems, start my life anew,
And feel that now each day’s worth living,
If I can do all this, then you can too.
If I can aid someone who suffers,
To cast aside depression, live again.
If I can help them find an answer,
Then the long, hard battle has not been in vain.