Hairy Scary Monster

Hairy Scary Monster
Quizmo LaGrande

A hairy, scary monster came to live with me.
They say I have to love it, but I tell them it has fleas.
I try to hide and shun it, but I cannot close my eyes,
It munches on my ears and toes each time it passes by.

A hairy, scary monster came to live with me.
I try to scare it back but it doesn’t seem to see
The way I bare my teeth, and make a nasty face;
It seems to think I like it. Then my nose it tries to taste.

I have to share my bedroom with the hairy, scary beast,
It snores and whines and wiggles. I get no sleep, to say the least.
They make me share my dinner, all my toys, my favorite shoes,
Not to mention on my bestest chair it sits (and sometimes chews).

It’s a giant scary monster with feet as big as boats.
Paul Bunyan would be jealous. (But at least the thing can float.)
It uses logs as toothpicks, crushes cans for dental floss
Its muscles are tremendous, so I let the thing be boss.

I’d swat it like a housefly, annoying as it is,
Instead I must ignore it, and pretend an “I’m dead” biz.
Perhaps it just won’t notice that I’m laying here so sound.
How can those wretched people dare to get another hound!