Quizmo's Wild Ride

Quizmo’s Wild Ride
Quizmo LaGrande

A simple task, a daily must.
Employer’s right to always trust
The worker to arrive on point
Smiling, set to open up the joint…

Beautiful Saturday, summer aglow,
Though till the last minute we all wait to go.
My darling daughter, as my coworker dear,
With her weekend guest, to the store we all cheer.

A lovely antique shop, owned by 'Mom and Pop,'
We watch on Saturdays, each weekend nonstop.
A most friendly and flirtatious afternoon;
But this time getting there proved none too soon.

My little white beetle, an old ‘68,
Runs by itself, like magic, it’s great!
But this morning for reasons most unapparent
It decided to stay where it was, for the moment.

Oh my gosh, what to do? The buggy won’t start!
We coast down the driveway, but Herbie’s too smart.
Not gonna go, and we’re already late.
The boyfriend appears and offers a fate…

“Please, take my van!” The ‘shore-boat’ it’s called.
Large enough to fit bug and rather small mall!
I take a big gulp as I look at the beast
As big as the cruise ship that lives ‘cross-the-street!

Quickly we gather and climb in the host.
An interesting seat in the back, I must boast,
“Honey, I promise to hook up the plumbing,”
Boyfriend grinned as I giggled, my passengers numbing.

There in the doorway, the side cargo hatch,
An ancient white toilet sat as if attached,
And belonged where it was, as throne for the guest.
“Please, buckle up.” I offered in jest.

So off we go, bravely nervous and tardy
(Tardy a little, if I prove drive it hardy).
Focusing hard to stay ‘tween the lines;
The passengers joking (and easing my mind).

We arrive just in time, but I curse as I note,
“No parking! Where the heck am I putting this boat?”
Then I suddenly realize, “My God!” my whelp seized,
“In the bug, with the boyfriend, I left the Shop KEYS!”

Unrepeatable swear words I gurgle and throat
As I turn bus around and speed without hope
Back to the barn for keys to lock’s drum
As learning to drive a huge conundrum.

Now we are zooming, girl in back poised just right,
I offer a magazine, an appropriate sight.
Then, honking and blaring, white flash blazes past,
Dear Lord, it’s the boyfriend, gallant and fast!

I whirl round the ‘boat’ (praying it stays afloat),
Speed back to the store with a wish and a hope
That the boyfriend with keys (and good sense as he seems)
Remains at shop’s post till we scream on the scene.

Now all the passengers are starting to wiggle,
Absurdness is making us all start to giggle.
Laughing with tears I look round for a wipe,
But the daughter in back, on the thrown with the pipe,

Confesses and shrugs there are none to be found,
(Disgusting contraption to have to tote round
without proper tissue?) the tears pouring out.
As we skid round the corner, friend let’s out a shout…

“I heard it was so, your kids told me true;
Disney’s dear Toad has got nothing on you!
Sell tickets, you must, they’ll all wait in line
Excited and thrilled on “Quizmo’s Wild Ride!”