Blame

Strip me of my feathers
throw the halo back
I never deserved the position
I'm alone in this world
alone in any world
the tide is closing in
without my wings
I can no longer fly
not that I could before
cheating myself
cheating those around me
I'm nothing but a maggot
lost the flesh of the dead
spend time with the dead
for they know the company I keep
laugh at a funeral
it does the body good
made a lake of blood
in my kitchen sink
down it goes
evidence of nothing
in my nobody world
throw the soul in the fire
I've nothing left to burn
my heart is scarred
but nothing like my wrists
betrayed by myself
a hatred so thick
there's no one to blame
but myself
and with each cut
that guilt
that hatred
that pain
increases
I want to kill me
but I don't want suicide
throw my retched soul to hades
it deserves to be there

save me from myself.


---

8-10-03

*Fiction*