Operation Smile

When I was in preschool, I fell off the school playground's crawl through tunnel, which was surrounded by large rocks. I hit these rocks face first, and knocked out my two front teeth. At the time, I was more concerned with finding my teeth for the tooth fairy than I was with my actual injury.

For years, my teeth failed to grow back in. At Christmas time, my family joked about me every time the Chipmunks "All I want for Christmas...is my two front teeth" song came on. Eventually, my adult teeth grew in, but with a large space, or gap between them. Aside from this flaw, my teeth are perfectly straight.

Growing up, in and out of school, I was often teased because of my teeth. My best friend's brother often asked me what my favorite store was. I'd give him an honest reply, only to hear him laughingly declare, "my favorite store is the GAP," an obvious, hurtful reference to my teeth. I was very self conscious growing up. I became very shy. I think my imperfect teeth contributed to this. When I met new people, I would try to cover my mouth the best I could to try and hide my space.

I still have this space. It's big enough for me to fit a straw between. At one point in high school, my divorced parents were willing to put aside their differences and help pay for me to have braces to fix this problem. Or so I thought. The day before my scheduled appointment, I had to cancel. My mother and step dad didn't come up with their half of the money to contribute to this. I was devastated.

Sometimes, I am still teased. Often times, I am still self-conscious. I try not to let these things bother me so much, but deep down, it does. I feel I lack full confidence in myself, as a person. Part of me feels ugly. I never smile showing my teeth in pictures. Actually, I rarely smile showing my teeth at all. I don't want my teeth, and my space, to show.

I've always told myself that I wouldn't get married unless I had my teeth fixed, for the sheer and simple wish that I could smile freely, happily, and beautifully in my wedding pictures. I don't see this wish happening anytime soon though. I just graduated college in May, after spending many years as a struggling college student, paying for school on my own, and working 30+ hours a week just to try and make ends meet. As it is, I haven't even been to the dentist for a teeth cleaning in at least 3 years. My teeth have been bothering me for some time - I am in a lot of pain most days, as I have many cavities that need fixing and filling. I am unable to afford it though. And I currently am without dental insurance.

I saw an ad in a magazine recently, for Jessica Simpson, and her favorite charity, Operation Smile. It is an organization designed to help people fix their smiles, and gain self confidence.

I have my own personal Operation Smile. It is more of a personal lifetime wish - the ability to one day, painlessly, confidently, and proudly smile.