A Chance Meeting

A Chance Meeting

Characters:
         JANET: late 30’s, dressed just barely too sexy for work
         DANIEL: late 30’s, dressed casually in a collared shirt
         FELICITY: early 30’s, flighty and flirty
         TREVOR: about 35, polished good looks

Setting:
         An Italian restaurant, evening

(Lights up on two tables, situated in such a way that JANET and DANIEL are seated back-to-back and could not possibly see each other. FELICITY is seated furthest to stage right, and she has her elbows on the table as she leans in to hear what DANIEL is saying. TREVOR, seated furthest to stage left, is leaning back in his chair and talking at great length to JANET. Both JANET and DANIEL look bored. When the focus is on one couple, the other continues the pantomime of talking. All dialogue is quick until the long pause of silence at the end.)

TREVOR: So I said to him, I said, “If that shipment doesn’t arrive here by five o’clock tomorrow, I will personally call your boss and get you fired.”

JANET: (without looking up, staring at her water glass) Un-huh. (TREVOR gives her a strange look, and she looks up at his silence and realizes that she is expected to say more.) Did it work?

TREVOR: (regaining his former momentum) Hell yes it worked. Was on my desk at eleven the next morning.

JANET: (back to her water glass) Un-huh.

DANIEL: So what do you do, exactly?

FELICITY: I’m in journalism. Writing, mostly.

DANIEL: Really? Well, what kinds of things do you write about?

FELICITY: (leaning back) I covered that Julia Roberts wedding a while back.

(This is not what DANIEL had expected, and it takes him a moment to regain his composure.)

DANIEL: Wait – what?

FELICITY: Remember, it was like, one day she was single and the next she was married?

DANIEL: Oh, right.

FELICITY: (with conviction) It was crazy. She married a cameraman, of all people. A cameraman! I mean, he’s not even famous.

TREVOR: So I told him, “Greg, if you can’t get this done, I promise you, I’ll find someone who can.”

JANET: (absently) Absolutely.

TREVOR: (suddenly after a short beat) Hey, what time is it?

JANET: (into her glass) Not late enough.

TREVOR: What?

JANET: (more clearly) Quarter past eight.

TREVOR: We haven’t gotten our food yet.

JANET: I can see that.

TREVOR: We ordered about fifteen minutes ago.

JANET: So?

TREVOR: Don’t you think that’s a bit much?

JANET: Not really.

TREVOR: It’s ridiculous. It’s ridiculous! I mean, what does a person have to do to get served in this hellhole?

JANET: Well, if you’re that upset, go talk to someone about it.

TREVOR: (rising, setting his napkin on the table) There you go. There’s an idea. I’m going to talk to the manager. I’ll be back.

(TREVOR walks quickly upstage of DANIEL and FELICITY’s table and off right. JANET picks up a fork and fiddles with it while she sits alone.)

JANET: Take your time.

FELICITY: (talking animatedly) I still don’t understand why she left Kiefer all those years ago.

DANIEL: Tell me about it.

FELICITY: (ignoring DANIEL’s sarcasm) Or Benjamin Bratt. Now there was a great couple.

DANIEL: Um, Felicity, you have lipstice or something –

FELICITY: What?

DANIEL: – On your teeth there.

(FELICITY gives a little squawk and runs her tongue over her teeth. )

FELICITY: Did I get it?

DANIEL: (squints at her) Um, nope.

FELICITY: (rising) I’ll just go to the ladies’ room and freshen up.

(She crosses upstage of JANET’s table and goes off left. JANET obviously watches her go off and is visibly repulsed by her manner of dress.)

DANIEL: (into his water glass) You do that.

(JANET and DANIEL sit in silence, back to back, for a few beats, JANET fiddling with her fork and DANIEL staring intently into his water glass. After a moment, JANET drops her fork on the floor. When she moves her chair out to get it, she collides with DANIEL’s chair. They both turn to apologize but never get that far. Recognition flashes on each face, and their manners become cold at once.)

JANET: Daniel.

DANIEL: Janet.

JANET: Do you mind telling me what you’re doing here?

DANIEL: Business meeting. And you?

JANET: Same. (DANIEL lets out a derogatory snort.) What?

DANIEL: Not dressed like that you aren’t.

JANET: What’s wrong with the way I’m dressed?

DANIEL: What’s wrong with it? Come on. You’d never go to a business meeting dressed like that. Not in a million years.

JANET: For your information I came here directly from the office.

DANIEL: I saw you when you left the house this morning, and you had a suit jacket and a few more buttons on your blouse. And you weren’t wearing those fancy-shmancy diamond earrings either.

JANET: This blouse doesn’t even have any more buttons.

DANIEL: Exactly.

JANET: (scoffing) Oh, and your “business associate” is dressed as a model of professionalism?

DANIEL: What’s wrong with Felicity?

JANET: (turned away) Ha! Should have guessed.

DANIEL: What?

JANET: She looked floozy enough to be named Felicity.

DANIEL: Excuse me!

JANET: (turning back to face DANIEL) Oh, come now. With that top that her tits kept popping out of?

DANIEL: (with emphasis) Felicity is a business associate.

JANET: Please. The only business that will be taking place is when you pay her afterwards.

DANIEL: And how about you? How much are you collecting?

JANET: (tossing her hair as she turns, haughty) As though I’m dressed anything like that sex kitten you’re with.

DANIEL: I’ve never seen that top on you.

JANET: (smugly, turning back to face DANIEL) It’s new.

DANIEL: It’s awfully low. I didn’t know you were willing to wear tops that low.

JANET: (looks down at her top) Oh, really, it’s not nearly as – (suddenly flustered) Oh, my God! I think I’ve lost a button!

DANIEL: (turning away) What did I tell you?

(JANET begins searching for her button on the table top, just under the table. Her focus is completely off of DANIEL and she faces away from him entirely.)

JANET: Oh my God, what do I do? Trevor’s going to think I’m some kind of slut –

DANIEL: (turning back) Wait – what?

JANET: He’s going to expect me to put out on the first date – this is awful!

DANIEL: Hold on a moment. Trevor? Date?

(JANET sighs and gives DANIEL a dirty look.)

JANET: All right, fine, you caught me, I’m on a blind date.

DANIEL: And you, a married woman! I expected better from you, Janet.

JANET: Oh, and yours is actually business, then?

DANIEL: Well, actually…

JANET: (incredulous) May I remind you whose wedding ring you’re wearing?

DANIEL: (turns back to show JANET his left hand) What wedding ring? Do you see a wedding ring?

JANET: That’s even worse, Daniel. You took off our wedding ring?

DANIEL: I don’t see you wearing your ring either.

(Too late, JANET turns and makes a grab to cover her left hand with her right. She curses under her breath at being caught.)

DANIEL: See? Don’t be too smug with me, dear, you’re here just the same way I am.

(Neither one of them has a retort for that one, so they pass a moment in silence, facing their separate ways, before JANET changes the subject without turning.)

JANET: So how long have you been seeing Little Miss Floozy?

DANIEL: Felicity.

JANET: Whatever.

DANIEL: Actually, we’re on a blind date too.

JANET: Hmm. Going well?

DANIEL: Not much of a brain. You?

JANET: Won’t shut up.

DANIEL: Oh, how fun for you.

JANET: And for you.

DANIEL: Yes.

(They glare off their separate directions for a moment or two until DANIEL explodes and turns to face JANET.)

DANIEL: So what happened to our wedding vows, huh? For better or worse until death do us part? Did your selective memory just omit that part of the deal from your mind?

JANET: (without turning) I remember our vows perfectly well, Daniel. But I always knew they were empty promises.

DANIEL: So you stood there in the white dress with all our family and friends and God watching and said “I do” to what you knew were empty promises?

JANET: (turns) No, I knew yours was an empty promise.

DANIEL: Thanks for the faith. So then why’d you let me make it?

JANET: Because I was young and naïve and thought you could change. But I’ve gotten to the place in my life where I figure, if you can break that pledge, why can’t I?

DANIEL: Well, how forward-thinking of you.

(JANET gives DANIEL a sarcastic smile. They pass a quiet moment, facing their opposite ways, until DANIEL speaks thoughtfully.)

DANIEL: So what do we do now?

(There are a few beats of awkward silence while each tries to think of what to do.)

JANET: Well, I think the wisest course of action is to ignore each other.

DANIEL: Pretend we’ve never met.

JANET: I didn’t see you.

DANIEL: And I didn’t see you.

JANET: And we’ll just get back to our dates.

DANIEL: Sounds marvelous to me.

JANET: Perfect.

DANIEL: Agreed.

(They each turn around and stare purposefully in opposite directions. FELICITY enters and looks around for DANIEL’s table.)

JANET: (without turning around, speaking into her glass) Oh look, there’s your brainless floozy.

(TREVOR enters and scans the stage for JANET.)

DANIEL: (also without turning and also into his glass) And there’s yours. Doesn’t look like he’s talking right now. Maybe he just won’t stop talking for you because he’s trying to avoid having to hear your voice.

JANET: Oh, Daniel, you’re just too sweet.

(FELICITY, in looking for DANIEL, has spotted TREVOR. Surprise and delight light up her face and are apparent in her voice.)

FELICITY: Trevor? Trevor McBride?

TREVOR: (looks around) Who’s there?

FELICITY: (waving) Remember me?

(TREVOR notices and recognizes FELICITY.)

TREVOR: Oh my God, Felicity!

(They rush towards each other and embrace. JANET and DAVID turn and give each other puzzled looks before turning back to watch their dates.)

FELICITY: How’ve you been?

TREVOR: Fine, fine. How’re you?

FELICITY: Great.

TREVOR: You look great.

FELICITY: (giggling nervously) Oh, well.

TREVOR: How’s Teddy?

FELICITY: Haven’t you talked to him lately? You guys were such good friends in high school!

TREVOR: Yes, well, we sort of lost touch.

FELICITY: He’s fine. He’s married. He has a little daughter.

TREVOR: Oh, that’s wonderful!

FELICITY: (coyly) You know, I had such a crush on you in high school. You were always over to hang out with Teddy and I always though you were so cute!

TREVOR: Well, I always thought Teddy had a pretty attractive little sister, but you know, you can’t say that to a guy in high school.

FELICITY: Oh, well, absolutely.

TREVOR: Hey, can I buy you a drink somewhere?

JANET: Hey!

TREVOR: This place is a dump anyway. I can’t tell you how long I’ve waited for service.

FELICITY: Sure, sounds great.

DANIEL: Hey!

TREVOR: After you.

(He stands to the side and lets FELICITY pass ahead of him. Together, they exit right.)

JANET: Well, how do you like that?

DANIEL: I do believe we’ve been abandoned.

JANET: Humph.

(JANET stands and begins to exit right. DANIEL just looks at her.)

DANIEL: Where do you think you’re going?

JANET: Home. And no, we can’t share a cab, don’t bother asking.

DANIEL: We’ll be going to the same place.

JANET: (stopping short) We will? As in, not now?

DANIEL: You have to stay and pay the check, darling.

JANET: (turning, resigned) Well, how do you like that?

(She returns to her seat and flops into it. DANIEL turns to her, but she continues to face towards TREVOR’s empty seat.)

DANIEL: So is that it then?

JANET: Well, I thought we agreed that the best thing was to just ignore each other.

DANIEL: We did.

JANET: So let’s just ignore each other.

DANIEL: Well, that was before –

JANET: (turns to face him directly) Daniel, please. Let me eat in peace.

(They each turn to face their separate ways, and DANIEL delivers his line more to FELICITY’s empty chair than to JANET.)

DANIEL: Fine. Have it your way.

(A few long beats pass in silence. After a few seconds, DANIEL picks up the card on the table advertising the specials and studies it carefully, then puts it down. JANET straightens her silverware carefully and then drums her fingers on the table. Finally, DANIEL stands and crosses to the chair that was TREVOR’s. He pulls it out, but before he sits, JANET stops him.)

JANET: What exactly do you think you’re doing?

DANIEL: There’s no point in both of us eating alone.

JANET: What?

DANIEL: Come on. I promise, I won’t say anything. It’ll be just like I was sitting behind you.

JANET: Except I have to look at you.

DANIEL: Worse things have happened.

JANET: How can I look at you? My own husband, on a blind date, behind my back!

DANIEL: Oh, and you were here under perfectly innocent pretenses?

JANET: That’s absolutely beside the point.

DANIEL: You were wrong and I was wrong. Now may I please stop standing here making an ass of myself?

(JANET smirks as though she likes the notion, then takes a long look at the empty seat across from her and sighs.)

JANET: Fine.

(DANIEL seats himself and pulls himself to the table.)

DANIEL: Thank you.

JANET: But don’t think this is over.

DANIEL: (into his water glass) Wouldn’t dream of it.

(Lights fade out.)