Finding Faith In Forever (1) Revised

Finding Faith In Forever (1) - Chance Meeting?


Kevin mentally cursed himself as he felt another gust of wind penetrate his long coat. The winter cold was biting, well below freezing, as Kevin made his way home from the bar that was only a couple of blocks away from his apartment. He had decided to forego Ryan's offer to drop him off since it wasn't snowing; he was beginning to regret it. The wind blew unforgiving, rustling his dark brown hair in a way that made him shiver. He took in the deserted streets, and then he checked his watch to see how late it was – midnight. He sighed, knowing he was going to pay for staying out when he had to get up for work in the morning, but was unable to be all that upset about it. Ryan had seemed to need his company, and Kevin could only assume that it was due to his recent break up with Leslie. Ryan had been dating her for close to seven months, so it had to be hard for him. Kevin could certainly understand. Even though he hadn't been in a relationship for a long time, he could remember what it was like when one dissolved right before your eyes. It had happened to him more than once.

Kevin's pace increased; the sound of his shoes on the pavement was an eerie counterpoint to the forceful air currents buffeting him. It seemed his steps and the intermittent gusts were the only two things that dared to break the oppressive silence of the night. Without the bustling of the city, Kevin's mind began searching for something to keep it occupied. It wasn't that he was the nervous type. The darkness didn't bother him since his surroundings were familiar. His lack of companionship wasn't something he even considered since he'd walked the streets many times at this hour by himself in the past. No, he felt uneasy for very different reasons tonight. The conversation he'd had with Ryan an hour before was still fresh in his memory, and his thoughts wandered back to the impromptu soul-searching session he'd had with his best friend over drinks.

"Don't you ever wonder if there really is a God?" Ryan asked, sipping at his beer.

Kevin was surprised at the abrupt change in topic but snorted derisively. "If there is, He certainly isn't all that interested in us. Look at all of the problems in the world. If there's a God, why doesn't He do something about them?"

His friend shook his head. "I don't know. Maybe He has and we just don't know about it."

"And maybe He hasn't and isn't going to," Kevin bit back harshly. Ryan seemed taken back by his angry response, but Kevin didn't care. Losing someone you loved had a way of destroying the idea of faith. "Look, I don't want to talk about this, okay? It's pointless and I came here to forget about my problems, not create new ones," he replied as he downed his whiskey sour. "What's with you, anyway?"

Ryan shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been feeling restless lately. Like something's missing. I thought a relationship would be what I needed, but it didn't turn out the way I expected." Ryan gave him a searching look. "I feel lost, Kevin. I mean I have a successful career, lots of friends, and all of the material things I could want; yet I'm not happy. Why am I the person I am? What does my life mean? If I have a purpose for being here, what is it?"

Kevin scowled. "Maybe there is no purpose. Maybe we're just here for God's amusement."

Ryan frowned. "Then again, there could be a reason for all of this. Maybe you should think about that sometime instead of always brushing it off. I mean if there is a God, we shouldn't act like He doesn't exist, right? After all, if He created us, there has to be a reason for it other than some twisted sense of voyeuristic pleasure."

Kevin had never answered him. They'd soon begun talking about the football pool and whether or not New England and Green Bay were going to do any good. Kevin had quickly dismissed their religious discussion, labeling it as one of those topics that should just be ignored when brought up. Even if there was a God, He certainly hadn't done anything for him, so why should Kevin even care what His purposes were?

Kevin pulled his coat closer as memories came to him unbidden. The death of his mother, the suicide of his best friend, even the loss of the drunken father he'd tried to forget, all became reasons against why he should believe in a benevolent Higher Power. What difference did it make anyway? Nothing could change what had happened or what he'd become because of it. There were days he hated the bitterness and pain that filled him. They made him feel weak, and weakness was something he had never been allowed to have.

Kevin paused for a moment in his walking to look up at the sky. "If You are really there, what is your story? If You cared about me, where the hell were You all those times?" He waited for a moment, not knowing what he was expecting, then shook his head at his own foolishness and began walking again. He hadn't gone far when he heard a voice call out to him.

"Hey mister, got any change to spare?"

Kevin turned around to see a boy standing in a nearby alley. He appeared to be around eleven years old, which made Kevin wonder what he was doing out at this time of night. Then he took in the boy's faded tee shirt and ripped jeans, both a size too big, and had a good idea why. 'Street urchin' went through Kevin's mind, and he berated himself for such a glorified term for a juvenile delinqient. Still, the boy didn't seem to have any weapons on him, and his face held an honest but wary expression, which belied Kevin's next thought of 'street gang'. The kid looked well kept, even though his blond hair was messy from the weather, but Kevin started to turn away, not wanting to talk with an underage boy at that hour on the street. What if a cop showed up and assumed too many things that weren't true? The kid was young, but child prostitution certainly wasn't unheard of, even on these streets. Determined to get away quickly, Kevin decided to cross the street, but before he stepped off the curb, he saw the boy's face fall in disappointment. Something tugged at his conscience, and he grudgingly reached into his pocket to get some change. He had always been too kind-hearted for his own good.

"Here," he replied, handing the ragged youth some coins. "Don't spend it on drugs or anything."

The boy's eyes lit up. "Thanks, mister! Don't worry. I don't do that kind of thing. Marcus would skin me alive, and I don't want to even think what Liv would do. They expect more than that from me, especially since I met Jesus."

Kevin just stared at the boy, completely stunned by the response. "What?"

The boy grinned widely. "Down at the mission outreach. They told me about Him." He then looked down at the ground. "My mom died a couple months ago, but the minister down at the mission is looking after me until they can find me a permanent home."

That statement caught Kevin's attention. "What are you doing out this late then? Sounds like this minister isn't taking very good care of you."

The boy's brown eyes flew back up to Kevin's face. "Oh, he doesn't know I'm here! Please, mister, don't get Marcus in trouble. I'm always home before dark. That's the rule. I'm supposed to be in bed right now." He looked sheepish. "I snuck back out through my window."

Kevin frowned. "Well, I think it's time for you to go back. In fact," he paused for a moment, deliberating his course of action, "I'm going to make sure you get there in one piece. Besides, I think I should have a chat with this Marcus and let him know that you're not as innocent as he thinks."

The boy started to protest, his voice holding a hint of anger. "I was just trying to do something nice for someone. I know I broke curfew, but I had to do it. Tomorrow will be too late for me to get the money, and I need to buy the…" The kid stopped suddenly, shoulders sagging. "I never should have bought that comic book. I knew I wouldn't have enough, but I wanted it, and it was the last one…"

"That's still no excuse to break the rules," Kevin retorted, not liking how much he sounded like one of his old high school teachers. Mr. Stone would have been proud.

"I know," the kid replied sulkily. "Marcus says that the ends don't justify the means." He sighed and then gave Kevin a considering look. "I guess I got no choice since I screwed up. I'll let you walk with me, but if you try to take me anywhere else but the mission, you'll regret it. I may be little, but I know how to fight, and when I do, I fight dirty." His brown eyes were challenging, even in the semi-darkness of the streetlight.

"Don't worry," Kevin reassured him, "I'll let you lead the way. I just want to make sure no one else grabs you." He kept his face impassive, hiding the smile that wanted to surface. This kid was something else. What, Kevin didn't know exactly, but it was vaguely familiar.

They began walking, and after a couple of minutes, Kevin found the silence that had fallen between them to be a little disconcerting. His mind recalled what the boy had said about his mother, and before he even realized it, words were coming out of his mouth. "I'm sorry to hear about your mom. I lost mine when I was young too, so I know how tough that can be." He winced at the way his voice wavered slightly as he spoke. He didn't like dealing with kids in pain. Actually, he didn't like dealing with kids in general.

The boy looked back up and smiled again. "S'okay. Mom is with God now. She met Jesus too before she died. We were stayin' at the mission outreach for a while before she got sick. I was glad that Marcus let me stay there. He and Liv really care about people. They run an after-school program for the kids around here with parents who have to work. I hear it's lots cheaper than daycare." The boy suddenly reached out his hand to him. Kevin noticed that some parts of the glove were missing, showing roughened fingers. "My name's Pete, by the way. Pete Sizemore. If you tell me your name, we won't really be strangers anymore, and then maybe I won't get in trouble for talking with you."

"Kevin Bradley," Kevin replied with a small smile as he took the boy's hand in a firm grip. He was surprised to feel an answering strength. His blue eyes wandered over the youth again. Pete was in excellent physical condition it seemed. The mission must be doing something right, even in light of this infraction.

"Do you know Jesus, Kev?" Pete asked suddenly.

Kevin missed a step and almost tripped. What was with everyone and God tonight? First it was Ryan, and now this kid. A person would think that he was being set up or something, like God had it in for him, only in a spiritual way. That thought made him a little angry.

"No, I don't… and don't call me Kev," he replied, his tone gruff, but not because of the nickname.

Pete gave him a worried look. "You know you'll be lost without Him, don't you?"

"I'm already lost." Kevin said then realized he'd just echoed Ryan's words from earlier. 'Damn him!' he thought. 'Why did Ryan have to talk about God tonight? Why couldn't he have whined about Leslie like any other normal guy and let me see some peace?' Kevin wanted to throttle his friend for beginning all this nonsense. He tried to ignore the fact that the words he'd just spoken had never felt more true right then.

"Then you need to be found," Pete replied solemnly. "Marcus will want to talk to you."

Kevin snorted. "It's after midnight, kid! Nobody wants to talk about God right now."

"Marcus always wants to talk about God," Pete argued. "If he's still up, I don't think there's any way you can get out of it." He grinned mischievously at the thought. "Hey, you were the one who wanted to make sure I got home. Don't blame me if you get stuck with him. Sometimes we all get a little more than we bargain for, even when we think we're the ones doin' the haggling."

Kevin sighed in exasperation, letting the boy believe what he would. Pete led him through another alley and down a couple more streets. They arrived at the 'Haven Mission House' a few minutes later. There was a light on in one of the windows, and Kevin suddenly felt a pang of guilt for getting the kid in trouble. He'd been young once and had done a lot more than just sneaking out at night. Since Pete didn't seem to be into drugs or anything, Kevin didn't want to see the kid get busted.

"I tell you what," Kevin said softly, "why don't you just sneak back in. I don't want…"

Pete shook his head. "No." He looked towards the window, biting his lip. "Marcus is always saying that you have to face your mistakes. I don't want to get into trouble, but I don't want to set a bad example either. If any of the other kids found out, they might think they could do it and get by too, and I don't want that to happen." He looked back at Kevin and grinned. "Besides, I think there was a reason why you wanted to come here. Maybe something good will come out of this."

Kevin just blinked at him as Pete walked to the front door and opened it. Had he wanted to come there? Was there a part of him that had wanted to see this Marcus for himself so he could dismiss the kid's claims that the minister was good? Kevin frowned at that. He didn't usually look for the bad in people, even if he didn't believe that God was the reason for what little good he'd seen in others. Kevin hesitated to follow. He could just walk away now. The boy could either slip upstairs or go tell on himself. It didn't really matter to Kevin one way or another.

'That's not true and you know it,' a little voice whispered in his mind. 'You're curious by nature. You want to see how the minister will handle this.' Kevin closed his eyes, hating that the little voice was right. With a huff of annoyance, he walked inside.

It was a small house that was attached to the mission. The living room was decorated in muted shades of blue, the furniture worn but not unsightly. Kevin could almost hear the sound of children's laughter, the shouts of voices playing, and the echo of tears and subsequent comforting. He could definitely see why Pete wanted to stay there. There was a sense of warmth that seemed to reach inside a person. His eyes sought out the boy and watched as Pete walked over to another room, opening the door to peak inside.

"Marcus?" Pete said softly.

"Pete? What are you doing up? It's late and you have class in the morning," came the response.

Kevin saw Pete falter for a moment. Then the boy took a deep breath. "Marcus, I haven't been upstairs. I was out on the streets until about a half hour ago."

Kevin heard a chair creak and could picture the other man turning to look at the boy. "You were what? Pete, what have I told you about going out this late? It's too dangerous. I know you think you're street smart because you had to live there, but you're still young. What if something had happened to you? Do you think just because your mom's gone that you don't have people who care about you? Olivia would have cried herself sick."

Pete looked down. "I know. I'm sorry, Marcus. I shouldn't have done it."

"Sorry isn't good enough. You're grounded for the next two weeks."

"But Marcus..."

"No buts. Keep it up and it's for a month," the firm voice stated. "My first concern is for your welfare. How do you think it would look if Children's Services knew you kept sneaking out? They'd take you away, Pete, and we both know you don't want that." There was a pause. "Two weeks. Don't do it again."

"Yes, sir," Pete replied, looking like a man who'd been sentenced to the gallows. He then glanced over his shoulder at Kevin. "Something good did happen though. I brought in a lost sheep."

Kevin heard another creak and then footsteps. He wanted to melt through the floorboards as a man came walking out of what appeared to be a study. He had sandy brown hair and piercing gray eyes. He looked to be around Kevin's age, thirty-something, and was tall. The minister's eyes took him in, and Kevin had never felt so uncomfortable in his entire life. The other man didn't look upset exactly – more like stunned. Kevin decided to try to explain before this got out of hand.

"I just wanted to make sure he got home..." he began.

"It's okay," the man interrupted. "I'm grateful that you looked out for him. Pete doesn't usually do this – at least not anymore. We had a problem with him when he first came here, but it's been a while." Marcus gave Pete a pointed look. "Old habits die hard sometimes, but we're going to make sure this habit dies tonight, aren't we, young man?"

Kevin saw Pete wince, but then the boy nodded. "Yes, Marcus. No more going out after curfew."

Marcus laid a hand on Pete's shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze before he gazed back at Kevin and stretched out his other hand in greeting. "I'm Pastor Marcus Collins. Forgive his unconventional witnessing methods. He's been known to bring in quite a few 'lost sheep' since coming here." Marcus paused, smiling tiredly. "Just never this late at night."

Kevin shook the other man's hand. "Kevin Bradley. I was just on my way home when Pete stopped me on the street and asked for some change."

Marcus looked over at the boy and raised an eyebrow. "Pete? What were you doing out on the street begging from strangers? It's bad enough that you were out at all at this hour, but you know you don't have to do that anymore. We've got whatever you need right here."

Pete scrunched his face up. "I wanted to buy Mary a new doll for her birthday tomorrow. I went out to get it yesterday, but I bought something else with my allowance that I shouldn't've, and I just needed a little more." His brown eyes filled with sadness as he spoke. "She lost all of her stuff in the fire, Marcus. She's my best friend now. I have to get her something. I almost have enough."

Kevin couldn't keep his heart from softening towards the boy. How could this kid even believe in God? He wanted to think it was just the minister's influence, but something told him that Pete's faith was genuine. What had this eleven-year-old found in his broken life that had given him such hope? Why hadn't Kevin found it? He suddenly felt envious.

Marcus reached out to ruffle the boy's hair, a tender look on his face. "I know that you care about Mary, Pete, and that was a very nice thing to want to do, but your judgment leaves something to be desired. Do you think she'd want you to do something that put you in danger just to get her a present? Next time, I want you to come to me. You could have easily earned the money by doing some extra chores around the mission or for some of the businesses around here."

Pete nodded. "Sorry. I didn't think about that. I just wanted to make her birthday special. She's younger than me…and… well… she's still having nightmares about her dad. I thought the doll would help a little."

"How much do you need?" Kevin asked, just wanting the boy to stop talking about it. He couldn't take this kind of emotional scene. It was bad enough to lose all of your possessions, but to lose your family too? He knew how that felt. 'Kids in pain,' he thought. 'I shouldn't get involved.'

"Two dollars and nineteen cents," the boy stated, his eyes hopeful as they gazed up at Kevin.

Kevin reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. From it, he took out a five and handed it to Pete. "Get the doll and spend the rest on whatever you want. Buy some candy or something. Just don't be out late at night anymore, okay? Marcus wants you to stay out of trouble… and so do I."

Pete stared at the bill in his hand for a moment before launching himself at Kevin to hug him. "Thanks, Kev! You're the best! God certainly knew what He was doing tonight when I found you." He let go and gave Marcus a placating look when he saw the man frown at him. "Even though I wasn't supposed to be there and won't do it again."

"Good," Marcus responded. "Now get to bed. You still have school tomorrow, and I won't tolerate you missing because of this."

"I need to be going too," Kevin said, deciding now was as good a time as any to make his escape.

"You can't!" Pete countered. "You need to talk to Marcus." The boy turned to the minister. "He doesn't believe in God. He needs to hear about what Jesus did for him."

"It would be a waste of your time," Kevin told Marcus before looking at Pete. "I don't need to be found."

"No one is a waste of time," Pete said softly, drawing both men's attention. "Lots of people treated my mom and me like we were, but Marcus took us in and helped us find God. Jesus never turns anyone away, right Marcus?"

Marcus patted him on the back. "Right, Pete. Now it's time for you to hit the hay."

Pete opened his mouth to argue but saw the stern look and nodded instead. "All right." He then looked back at Kevin. "But at least listen to what he has to say. I promise you won't regret it." He turned and headed for the stairs, yelling over his shoulder, "See you around, Kev!"

"Night, Pete," Kevin replied, feeling that warmth inside again.

When the door to Pete's room closed, Marcus sighed. "I apologize, Mr. Bradley. Pete shouldn't have been out. I know what you must think of us, but I assure you that we…"

"Don't worry about it," Kevin interrupted while waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "I used to be quite a handful myself. Social Services would have loved to have gotten their hands on me at his age. It's a miracle I didn't end up in a foster home." He smiled as he remembered some of the antics he'd been involved in, most of which would have sent his mother into fits had she been alive. Then his smile faded as he thought about her not being there to see the good things either. The real miracle Kevin had wanted had never happened no matter how many times he'd wished for it.

"We're not usually up this late," Marcus explained. "My wife was called out to pray for someone at the hospital, so I'm waiting up for her. You're more than welcomed to stay and talk. If you want to, that is."

Kevin hesitated for a moment. Did he want to talk? All evening he'd wanted to walk away – from Ryan, and then from Pete – but something had kept him from doing it. Why? Was he feeling the same emptiness that Ryan had been experiencing? He didn't like the idea. His life was in order now. He'd needed God years ago, not now when everything was going well for him. "Like I said, I don't even believe in God, so I would be wasting your time."

The pastor nodded in understanding. "Pete is still recovering from losing his mother. I'm sorry if he's been a little too enthusiastic tonight. He really means well."

Kevin shrugged. "He seems like a good kid. It's too bad that something so tragic had to happen to him. That's one of the reasons why I don't believe in God – or at least don't want anything to do with Him."

The other man's gray eyes narrowed slightly. "Do you believe in the devil?"

Kevin wasn't sure how to answer. Did he? "I don't know. Guess I never thought about it before."

Marcus nodded. "I find that most of the time people blame God for the things that the devil is responsible for. Often times, they blame God for things they themselves are responsible for as well. God is good, Mr. Bradley. He doesn't do bad things to anyone."

"Well, He's never done anything good for me, so I guess I have a right to be skeptical," Kevin replied hotly. He didn't need someone telling him what he should believe. His past experiences were proof enough that any Divine Power didn't seem to think he was worth noticing.

"He gives you each breath that you take," Marcus countered. "I think that would be considered something."

"Look," Kevin bit out, "I was minding my own business until Pete showed up. When I found out that he was staying here, I couldn't just let him walk home alone. I didn't ask for his opinions on 'meeting Jesus'. He was the one who brought it up. Just because my friend was talking about God earlier doesn't mean anything. I shouldn't even still be here. I don't want to talk about it. I just want to be left alone."

Marcus' eyebrows shot up. "Let me get this straight. Your friend was talking about God tonight, you ran into Pete, who wasn't even supposed to be out, and then you ended up at a mission house where the pastor was still up when he normally wouldn't be? I'm a pretty level-headed, common-sense, feet-on-the-ground kind of guy, but it just seems a little too well orchestrated to be anything but God trying to reach out to you, Kevin Bradley."

Kevin frowned. He hadn't really thought about that. His mind went back to the quasi-prayer he'd uttered just moments before meeting the boy. Was this God's way of answering him? That possibility made chills run up and down his spine. "I don't know," he finally said, still a bit angry. He didn't want it to be true.

Marcus smiled. "Jesus cares about you, Kevin. I don't believe in coincidences when it comes to God. He sent Pete to you, sure as I'm standing here talking to you. I'm not saying that Pete was right in what he did, but sometimes God uses us even when we aren't doing what we're supposed to be doing. After all, Jesus snuck off from his parents when he was twelve, and they found him teaching the elders in the Temple. I'm sure his folks wanted to beat him for scaring them half to death, but then again, Jesus was doing something that was in God's plan. Sometimes it doesn't make sense to us, may even frighten us, but God is more than able to protect what's His."

Kevin just stared at him for a moment. There was sincerity in the man's gray eyes that spoke to Kevin's heart, but he wasn't about to give in so easily. "So you think God used Pete to get to me tonight? That He 'protected' Pete and let him be out on the street just so I would meet him?" Kevin snorted. "Maybe I should report you to Children's Services."

"I'm not condoning what he did," Marcus pointed out. "I'm just saying that God can take something bad and make it into something good."

Kevin didn't know if he could believe that or not. If God cared so much, why hadn't He done something when Kevin really needed Him to? How many nights had he pleaded for his mother to get well? How many times had he begged God to make it stop when his dad hit him? How often had he prayed for his best friend, asking for God to help the other boy stop being gay?

"I've never seen him do that. He's always ignored what I needed," Kevin said belligerently. "I've prayed, and He's been silent. Why should I believe in Him when He's never given me any reason to?" He felt the pain in his heart at those words, but that was how he felt.

"Because He gave His Son to die in your place instead of letting you be lost without hope," Marcus replied calmly. "Even when bad things happen, He cares, Kevin. And sometimes, bad things happen for a reason that we can't comprehend at the time."

"But why?" Kevin grated out. "If He loves us, wouldn't it be better to keep the bad things from happening? How could suffering ever result in something good?"

"Have you ever thought that there is more to this than just us?" Marcus asked. When Kevin shrugged, the minister continued. "There was a time before man was placed on this earth that God existed with other heavenly beings. Satan was one of those beings, known then as Lucifer. He worshipped God, was one of the most beautiful creations God had made. No one knows exactly what happened, but Lucifer gave into his own pride and greed, and decided that he wanted to be God. He tried to take over Heaven, but God cast him out, and his name was changed to Satan. I'm sure God was heartbroken, thinking that a work of His own hands would betray Him. I believe it was what led Him to make a being that would serve Him of its own free will. He wanted true fellowship with His creation, so He made Adam and Eve and placed them in authority over the Garden of Eden. When Adam and Eve listened to Satan, who was disguised as a serpent, they gave away their authority and dominion over this world to him. In other words, Adam swore fealty to another ruler when he chose to disobey God and believe Satan."

"So this is like thousands of years of civil war?" Kevin asked incredulously.

"More like an ongoing battle between the rightful Creator and a usurper," Marcus replied, his voice filled with conviction. "Even though God is already victorious because Jesus became the sacrifice for sin and defeated death, each person's soul is still a battleground. When you refuse to serve God, you are swearing fealty to Satan, the devil, just like Adam did. There is no middle ground or neutral position. God made it clear that He loved us enough to provide us with salvation after we disobeyed Him. He made a way for us to avoid eternal damnation with Satan. He made it so we could be reconciled to the kingdom and become his children again. He didn't have to do that, but He did because he loved us so much. Our free will is what makes us so unique in His creation. He wants us to be with Him, to know Him, and to love Him. Once this battle is over, we'll never have to go through pain again; but while we live in this fallen world, we have to struggle to overcome the evil around us. Hasn't He done enough for us to be willing to endure the trials of a lifetime and fight for Him by believing in what He promised?"

Kevin considered that for a moment. He'd never heard anything like that before, which would explain why he'd always found religion lacking. If what Marcus was saying was true, it explained why the world was the way it was, why bad things happened in light of the existence of God, and what God had done to make things better. It was an amazing hypothesis. Kevin wasn't sure he believed it, but it was interesting to ponder the possibility. Maybe if he looked at things from that perspective, it would all make more sense.

"I think I need time to think about all of this," he finally said, not sure if he even wanted to commit to that.

Marcus nodded. "All right, but will you let me pray for you? I just want to ask God to help you find what you're looking for."

Kevin thought about it and then sighed. He wasn't agreeing to believe anything. He wasn't admitting to having changed his mind. The pastor was just going to say some words. It didn't mean they had any power. There really wasn't any reason why he shouldn't let Marcus do it since he'd taken time to talk with him. "I guess it really can't hurt."

Marcus bowed his head and began to pray. "Lord, You sent Kevin here tonight for a purpose. He didn't even know that his heart was seeking You, but I believe You have always wanted to be there for him. Let him feel Your presence, Father. Let him know that You love him. Guide Him to the truth and help him to see You for the Savior You want to be for him. You said, 'Ask, and ye shall receive. Seek, and ye shall find. Knock, and the door will be opened unto you'. Help Kevin to find the truth in those words. In Jesus' name we pray. Amen."

Kevin shifted, feeling kind of odd after such an encounter. "Well, thanks for... um, just thanks."

Marcus patted him on the back. "Stop by anytime. I'm sure Pete would love to see you again."

Kevin smiled a little at that. "I'll see what I can do." He paused for a moment. "I… don't know if I can believe what you told me, or even that God loves me, but I'll think about what you said."

"That's more than what most people do," Marcus admitted. "I'm not anyone special, Kevin. I just want to help people. I know most ministers seems to only care about what people can do for them. I hope that I never become one of them. If I do, I want God to smack me around until I come to my senses."

Kevin grinned. "Well, if I remember right, He did send a bunch of plagues on someone one time. Be careful what you wish for."

Marcus laughed. "I hope I'm not as bad as Pharaoh!"

"You never know," Kevin replied as he patted the other man on the back in a similar gesture that Marcus had used. The humor was evident in his voice. "Goodnight, Pastor."

Marcus blinked. "I think I've been insulted." Then he smiled, belying the seriousness of statement. "Please, call me Marcus. Everyone else does around here. Pastor just makes me sound too old."

Kevin chuckled as Marcus walked him to the door. Once outside, Kevin backtracked to the street where he'd met Pete. The night was still cold, but he felt that warmth trying to wrap around his heart again. He looked up at the sky, this time wondering if what Marcus had told him was true. Was he denying the Creator because of his own pain and anger? What about the times he had called out to God? Was God listening but unable to respond like Kevin wanted because of the circumstances at the time? Or had He responded in ways Kevin didn't know about, like Ryan had proposed? Kevin shook his head. He wasn't sure of anything anymore, except that a couple blocks away, there was a boy who believed in something Kevin couldn't yet understand. He suddenly felt more tired than the hour explained and decided he needed to sleep on it. With a mind still full of questions and a heart unsure of the road ahead, Kevin began making his way home.