The Trash Wars

All my life has been spent on the battle field of my parents' conflicting views of what constitutes trash. I think, if left to himself, Dad would keep everything. Though, to be fair, he does go on a cleaning binge every 8 to 10 months or so - usually of everyone elses' stuff, but why be picky, hey?

He does come by his hoarding instincts honestly. When his maternal granpa died, it was found the man, a product of the Great Depression Era, never threw anything away. It was all neatly stored in packets, inside bags, in alphabetical and numbered rows under his bed. The man even had one packet labeled "String too short to use for anything". So help me, it's true!

Mom, on the other hand, is a great one for throwing out everything not nailed down or obviously bric-a-brac. It's not that she's a flake or even psychotic; but, she is just this side of a neat-freak. It was only after she'd tossed one too many important (to us) things (and a couple of noisy tantrums from her family) that she was broken of the habit of indiscriminant tossing - for the most part. She still has her lapses even though she does try to check with us first.

My sister and I have each been shaped by this constant parental battle. My sister tosses everything, albeit with a bit more discretion. She's careful to check on a thing's importance in the scheme of your life 1st. Still, if she thinks you're being morbidly sentimental (i.e. too ridiculous for words), she'll give you "The Look" and, likely, toss it anyway - unless you throw your own tantrum.

I, on the other hand, keep everything. Bric-a-brac, papers, cards, the boxes the bric-a-brac came in (you never know when boxes of any size might be needed). While I don't exactly break down when it's time to clean house, it takes a minimum of a year before I let something go. Sometimes even longer.

Don't get me wrong, our home is neither overly sterile nor hopelessly cluttered. We all seem to balance each other out (though, since my parents bought a new home, Dad has hopped on the "toss-it-all" bandwagon... traitor). I just happen to agree with Erma Bombecks' Law: "You will never need a thing until the day after you throw it out." I say, why take chances? Keep it all... at least for a year, anyway.