Ashes On The Water (revised)

Ashes on The Water

Water meeting sand echoed in the distance. The tide was moving in. Each sound was a small interruption to the silence with which she sought to surround herself.

It didn’t help that her life was in constant turmoil. Her divorce had been a surprise even though the marriage had ended years before her husband filed the papers. Not long after she closed that chapter of her life she lost her best friend to breast cancer.

The memories started rushing back.

Marissa had been doing research at the cancer treatment center for an article she was writing. One of the nurses had introduced Brian as the husband of one of the patients and something about Marissa opened a part of Brian that allowed him to talk freely about how cancer had affected his life. A few days after that first meeting Marissa received a call with a special invitation. Brian and his wife Debra wanted her to document the final stages of this savage disease and it's effects on a personal level.

The friendship between Debra and Marissa took hold almost immediately. There was a different kind of friendship that grew between Brian and Marissa. They would sit over coffee, after Debra had been settled for the night, and talk... about anything and about nothing.

They had been an interesting trio, Marissa, Debra and Brian. Brian had always been “on”…the eternal clown, acting up to distract “his girls”, as he called the two friends. Many times Marissa had wanted to tell him to relax. So often she had wanted to be able to lay a calming hand on him to let him know she understood the reason behind the constant display of energy. But there was Debra to consider first. Her time had been marked shortly after her diagnosis. The cancer had advanced too far by the time it was found to do more than keep her comfortable.

The three of them had shared so much and it had been over too soon.

After Debra’s memorial service it had been easier to drift apart than to constantly remind each other of the reason they had become close.

Many times she drove past his house. Once she had stopped across the street trying to think of a reason to ring his doorbell but she was not ready to see him without Debra. Someone told her that he still complained about the cats but he fed them and took them to the vet regularly. Brian had let it slip to a mutual friend that the four cats still slept in the bed as if Debra was still there.

Memories of that last day filled her mind. She remembered watching the men carry Debra up the stairs as if she weighed nothing. Marissa could still hear the barely audible whisper, “I have come home to die.” Most of that day Marissa sat on the edge of the bed as her friend slipped further away. Brian came in often, helping his wife as the hospice nurse had instructed, his eyes seeking Marissa’s across the room. They both understood that the end was near.

A year had passed and she still felt the loss almost as intensely as the moment she had heard that Debra had silently passed away in her sleep.

Marissa’s life had shifted from seldom being alone to being alone almost always.

Unable to sit still any longer, she pulled a sweatshirt from the closet and headed into the crisp morning air.

Tourist season was over and as she walked the large stretch of beach she realized she was completely alone. “Closed for the Season” signs were posted on most of the hotels that lined the beach. The town looked deserted.

She never understood why people loved the crush of bodies and belongings during the summer months. How could wading around half-dressed, sun baked bodies be relaxing? Having the sand and ocean to herself made Marissa feel like she had the better plan.

In the distance she spotted a man and a dog. She watched him toss something into the water and the dog chase it.

Marissa continued walking and thinking.

Droplets of water hit her ankles, startling her from her reverie. The dog she had seen in the distance was now running wide circles around her and Marissa laughed out loud at the unbridled giddiness of the Labrador pup.

“I’m sorry. Hazel is a maniac without her leash.”

Brian's voice caught her off guard.

Marissa glanced up at him. He hadn't changed much in the year since she had last seen him. The lines around his eyes may have deepened but his smile was exactly as she remembered.

“She’s a beautiful dog.”

He nodded once, watching Hazel chase the tide. Incoming waves splashed her paws, catching her by surprise, and chasing her back to her master’s feet. She plopped down looking first to her master then to the stranger smiling at her. A brown, arched, tail began to thump the sand in anticipation of a new playmate.

“I’m glad you came.” Brian turned to look at her when he spoke.

“I have always liked coming here after the crowds have moved on but I don’t remember it being this desolate before.” She smiled as the dog chased the outgoing foam again.

“It’s time to say goodbye to her.”

Puzzled, Marissa looked at him.

His hand went to his jacket and it was then that she noticed the blue cylinder half in and half out of the pocket.

“I thought you sent Debra to her mom in Florida.”

“No. I planned on sending her. I just never could get past planning.

Marissa watched his hand caress the urn. A tear slid silently down her cheek as she began to understand the cryptic phone message he had left last week.

Brian looked at Marissa now. He knew why he asked her to meet him here. He needed and wanted her with him for this final goodbye. They never questioned the forces that brought them together at a crucial period in all of their lives and it was right that the three of them be here now.

They walked to the end of the dock. Brian held the urn and while Marissa removed the top he reached for her free hand. He tipped the urn and the wind carried the ashes to the sea.