'Twas the Day Before Christmas

'Twas the day before Christmas, and all through the mall
Not a shopper was happy, nor having a ball.
The shelves were all emptied by speedy gift-buyers.
For latecomers there were just sparkplugs and tires.

The staff was all rushing and bustling about,
While shoppers around them did groan, cry, or shout.
And managers in their nice suits, and clerks uniformed,
Put up valiant efforts when stockrooms were stormed.

"Move aside folks," said a man dressed in red.
"I know what I'm doing. I do," the man said.
"I'll find that new Blaster-Bob-Universe-Master,
Just stand aside people, for I'll be much faster!

This staff is appallingly sluggish and slow.
Do they not understand we've got places to go?"
Away to the store room he flew like a flash,
Tore open the boxes and took people's cash.

"Line up here folks, and don't look so listless.
I'm here to help you to get on with Christmas."
The shoppers, like cattle, did just as he'd told,
Soon deals were made and the products were sold.

The managers, recovering from their sudden shock,
Adjusted their ties and glanced up at the clock.
They needed control back over each store,
Or risk losing their jobs, and pensions, or more.

"Now people," they stammered to each anxious mob.
"Just get out of our storerooms, and let us do our job.
We'll make sure you're all happy or marginally so,
And if you'll just come this way, then soon you can go."

More rapid than hot ticket items are bought,
The mobs charged the managers, they charged the whole lot.
"Now listen, now hear us, now don't patronize!
We need better products and we want better buys!

Our loved ones are waiting with faces aglow
For these thoughtful gifts that we buy them, you know!
They don't want cheap plastic, or second-rate stuff,
Now bring out the goods boys, cause this ain't enough."

So up to the rafters the managers did go,
And tossed down new products to shoppers below.
"I think I'm gonna miss working 'round here,"
They cried as the people beneath them did cheer.

And then in a twinkling, they heard at the door,
The sound of feet tapping--'twas the clerks of the store.
"Now listen up people and listen up good,
This will end now, is that understood?"

"We work way too hard to put up with this scene,
It's your fault you're here. You know what we mean.
You put off your shopping 'til the very last minute.
Then wonder why a store seems to have nothing in it.

Your friends and family were here weeks ago,
And they got all the good stuff. For YOU dontcha know?
Now get out of our storeroom and out to the floor.
If you can't handle that, then we'll show you the door.

Be a little more grateful, and a little less rude.
Recall why you're here. Let's bring back the mood."
When the last shopper left with bags, boxes and more,
The staff called "Merry Christmas! Now quick, lock the door!"

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