Non-Traditional Traditions

The yearly hayride, gathering with the gang to go caroling, putting the tree up in the town center--these sound like great traditions; but they aren't my family's.

Norman Rockwell would pass my clan up if he was still alive and looking for new subjects for his wonderful pictures filled with depictions of traditional family living.

One tradition I grew up with and was only too happy to throw out when I moved away from home was the annual "Wait Until Christmas Eve to Wrap Presents" event. Every Christmas Eve, mom or dad would prepare some simple meal; chili, pizza, sandwiches, or nothing. Nothing meant "Each His Own" and you were free to roam the cupboards with minimal supervision.

Mom would put on the old "Christmas on the Ponderosa" record and soon the house would be filled with a good old-fashioned Cartwright Christmas. "Christmas is a comin' and the geese are gettin' fat, please to put a penny in the old man's hat."

While the music played on, my parents, two sisters, and I headed for different parts of the house to wrap presents. For those of us too efficient with our jobs, we actually saved some expressly for the fulfillment of this strange custom. At times, it annoyed me since I wished instead to watch the Christmas specials on TV, or go for a drive to see the lights on all the houses where inside everyone was as excited as I was in anticipation of Christmas Day and all it would bring. I didn't like the "lonely" feel of spending much of Christmas Eve alone in a house full of people.

Soon though a form of interaction would begin. There'd be knocking on doors and somebody calling out, "Hey, do you have the green paper with all the little Santa's on it? Can I use it for a sec? Do you know who has the paper with the bells on it? Do you have the ribbons?"

At first, these requests were filled with peace, love, joy and goodwill to all family members. After awhile, impatience gobbled up peace, goodwill, and joy as quickly as a family gathered for the Christmas feast makes a carcass of a once golden turkey. "Hey! Wait your turn. I don't have it!" "I know you're hogging the ribbons, give me some. Now!" "Mom, she's hogging stuff!"

Finally after much grumbling and growling, and at times, full out screaming matches, the chore was done. Glaring, glowering, and elbow jabs followed as we marched to place the newly wrapped gifts beneath the tree. If the arguments didn't get too out of control, a begrudging peace in respect of the occasion would ensue that sometimes gave way to a return to joy.

Since leaving my parents house to forge a new life for myself, I could no longer see the point of the "joyous" tradition and so created a new one which I now share with my own family. All presents are wrapped a minimum of two days before Christmas, unless an emergency purchase makes that impossible. Wrapping paper, ribbons, tape, and tags are neatly tucked away until next Christmas.

On Christmas Eve, we go for a drive to ooh and aah over the pretty lights, return home to watch the Christmas Specials, then turn out all the lights except for the ones on the Christmas tree. We sing the carols of hymnal quality in the soothing semi-dark, or just sit in quiet contemplation, and for a little while, the world seems absolutely perfect.

Strange as it may seem, there are times when I miss the hectic tradition of my childhood and teen years, but sometimes I miss being fifteen too. There are just some things that are best left as memories.

I wish you peace, love, joy and goodwill this holiday season as you enjoy old traditions or create new ones, and remind you to watch out for those elbow jabs.

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