Speak Up Child

Speak up child

not going to say another word
words are clogging up my throat
making it hard to breathe
piling up and scrambling over each other
kicking and scratching their way up
packed together like sardines
wanting to rush out in one furious swoosh
but I won't let them
not speaking up again
last four hundred and sixty two times I did that
it just hurt me
tears being forced out into pools in my eyes
the victims of pushy words
you don't even know it
that's the funny thing
you think I've finally come over to
your way of thinking
no more wearing emotions on my shoulder
don't care if it makes me seem colder
it's what I decided to do
speaking up invites you
let's be honest, you don't really care anyway
just gives you the excuse you
were searching for to give me yet
another lesson in why I am wrong
a thousand tiny needles tattooing my heart
leaving your permanent mark
you are then upset because I have no reaction
I have one, you just don't see it
and you never will see it
I'm counting the days
standing outside letting the wind
carry off all those words
trying to think of the future
to a day when my words will flow freely
be welcomed and cherished
but until that day, it pains me to say
I won't say a word
not speaking out again
I refuse to let you make
me think my thoughts are
dirty, ignorant sins
go on judging me harshly
I can take it
lips poking out, trying to look strong
putting a piece of bubblicious in my mouth
not too many days away,
going to leave you
and you will be the one
standing there all stoic
looking like a fool