From Internet to Love to Sadness

Now where was I?...Oh, yes...Paddy and I continued on to Connecticutt. Of course we got lost, as could be expected in a new place. Was really a riot when we stopped at an all night gas station/quik mart to try and get directions to the apartment complex we were going to be living at. The night person running the place was an old transvestite. S/he was friendly enough and a real pleasure to talk to. S/he wasn't one of those flaming types you see so often emulated on TV. Paddy, I think was really amused and amazed with seeing a man in drag. I have nothing against them myself, I have had too many years around gay men and they aren't really any different than you or I other than their sexual persuasion.

Anyhow, after s/he gave us good directions to the place we were moving to, we found that the door hadn't been left unlocked for us a we had been told. We had to pull the poor on-site resident manager from her meal to come let us in. She gave us a quick tour of the apartment, handed us the keys and left. Paddy and I unpacked the car and made the bed (furniture had already been delivered)so we could get some sleep, seeing as I was to start the new job in the morning. It was great that he and I could actually sleep in a real bed together for the first time, alone.

Milford Hospital is located 18 miles west of Hamden, the little burg we were living in, which, coincidentally, is right outside of New Haven and the home of Yale University. The drive was pleasurable enough, taking about a 45 minutes to get there. With plenty of signs leading to the hospital, I found it with no problems. The hospital was just finishing a new building into which the Operating Room was moving into in a couple of weeks. For all that the old one was outdated, the new one was state of the art. However, it was still only five suites. I really enjoyed my time there.

The first couple of weeks were kinda tough for us. We had very little money and lived off Top Ramen soup and bread for the longest time. We were grateful when I got my first paycheck and had real food to eat again.

In my off hours, Paddy and I would go to one of the gyms and work out or play some one on one basketball, ping pong or throw the football. Other leisure time activities for us was to snuggle up together and watch rental movies, play some RP games, play games on my computer or just drive around taking in the sights of New Haven and it's rich old archeitecture. Yale had some really amazing buildings. I regret not having done more exploring there.

Morton (you remember him, my little Yorkie) got his first real taste of snow there. And also got his first taste of being in the dog pound for the weekend. I had opened the door to let him out, was pulling on my coat to go after him and, sure enough, the little bugger disappeared. I was heart broken, thinking that I may never see my little companion again. Paddy and I hunted all over the complex, calling him and talking to other people out walking their dogs to keep and eye out for him. One lady was almost in tears over our plight. It was this lady who came to our place later with the phone number to the shelter, hoping we would have luck there. Sure enough, they had him but, we couldn't get him back til Monday afternoon when I got home from work. Darn Dog. It cost me $25 to bail him out. Had to post date the check too. Now I never allow him to leave my side.

Before we left Connecticutt, we made it a point to go visit our sponsor Rod. With three T-bone steaks and a batch of my bread pudding safely in the back seat, we made our way to Rod's home. It was great to finally meet the man who had supported me through so much in the past. Through the times I was unsure of myself, to the times I needed a little fianancial help, to the times when all I really need was sympathetic ear. Rod has been all that and more. I could not have a better friend and I wish him all the best the world has to offer. He deserves it.

The twelve weeks passed quickly for Paddy and I. Before we knew it, we were accepting an assignment in Greenwood, South Carolina. The biggest mistake I ever made. When you are an atheist, it's not a good idea to do anything in the Bible Belt, but pass through. Unfortunately, I learned this too late.

Things started out well enough, even though I was working the evening shift (which I never really wanted). The Surgery Supervisor was estatic to have a temp that was as experienced as I am. So estatic,within two weeks of my being there, she wanted to renew my contract for another twelve weeks. I asked her for a little time. I just couldn't share her enthusiasm. I found the place to be quite dirty and disorganized, the nurses unfriendly and the doctors were more ministers than doctors. Being as anal as I am and the heathen athiest, you could guess that I just didn't quite fit in. Man! When the first Doc I worked with, who was an ordained minister, found out I was an athiest, I kept expecting him to demand the floor to open up and send me into the bowels of hell. (Yeah, right, like I believe in Hell either.) It was then I knew that twelve weeks was going to be a long haul there and after eight weeks, was looking into an new assignment.

You can't imagine how thrilled I was to find an assignment in Alexandria, Virginia, where I grew up. I told one of the girls I was working with of this new assignment. I was really happy, even after a doctor got upset with me when I dropped an instrument and popped off with "Aw, shit!". That ended things for me right then and there, unbeknownst to me. I came into work the next day and was told to go home and that they would call me and let me know when they wanted me back. They never called me, instead, I got a call from my advisor with the agency. The hospital had cancelled my contract! When I asked why and was told, I was floored! They had trumped up so many charges against me that I just sat with the phone in my hand in quiet dismay. My thoughts on the matter were, they were pissed that I wasn't planning on staying and would sooner be rid of me and get another person in that they could delude them into a false sense of security and get them to stay on. Shoot! I saw the fax for the next guy to come in and replace me right away. Wasn't any grass growing under their feet!

Anyhow, I was told I had 72 hours to vacate the place I was living in and was given a week to get to my next assignment (Alexandria) BUT, I was going to have to pay for the move myself, find my own place to live, pay for my furniture rental, utilities, and rent out of my own pocket. I thank what ever powers that be, that I had come into a windfall just the week before. Any thoughts of using that money frivolously went right out the window. (Well, I did splurge with my income tax refund and bought a scanner, which I couldn't get to work.)

To top it all, poor Paddy had a tooth that had become impacted. We spent three days and nights in a motel, sought out a dentist and got him taken care of. Paddy was in so much pain and suffering that I forgot about my own troubles for a time. I ended up sending Rod some of my stuff to hold for me until I could find a place to live in Virginia. Then, too, ended up leaving behind a few things which I offered to the cleaning ladies at the motel. As soon as Paddy was up to traveling, we made our trip to Alexandria, happy to leave South Carolina behind. Now I'm not dissing S.C. as an undesirable state to live in, it was only undesirable to us.

We spent another six days and nights in a motel when we reached Alexandria. The cheapest one we could find and, believe me, what I paid them for it, they should have had a Continental Breakfast waiting for me each morning. Yeah, right. The only thing I found each morning was the welcome wagon of cockroaches in the bathroom. So we wasted no time looking for an apartment. Easier said then done though. Alexandria is right outside Washington, D.C., so apartments do not go cheap here either. I had enough of my windfall money left to make the first, second and security deposit for a place. It is nice enough (no roaches) but, if I had had more time to look, I think I could have found better with a lower rent. And still had enough left over to rent furniture, although, only to furnish two rooms.

Once we had settled in, the first thing we did was search out old haunts of mine. The neighborhood I grew up in was demolished and new townhouses had been erected there. The woods I had loved to roam through as a child were now asphalt and medical offices. All my old friends were gone to unknown places or dead. Now there is something that can shake up your thoughts on mortality.

Being disappointed with that, we took a ride out to Winchester to exchange the cheap scanner I had bought for the real thing. We had a wonderful drive out, the weather was beautiful (enough so that I got a lovely trucker's tan. I have got to teach Paddy how to drive a standard shift.) and great steak dinner at a resturant there. That didn't whet our appetite. We soon made plans to drive Skyline Drive and go to the Luray Caverns. We had a fabulous time. Again, the weather was perfect. Paddy marveled at how beautiful the vistas were and was grateful that I was sharing with him the state I truly loved.

He was more surprised with how much wildlife there was right in our "backyard", so to speak. We were fortunate enough to have gotten a wonderful view from our apartment that overlooks the creek I frolicked in during the long hot summers and of Washington, D.C. I bought a cheap pair of binoculars so that I could show him what lived along the creek. Pointing out kingfishers, beavers, blue herons, snowy egrets, ducks and geese, the rare piebald grebe, terns, hawks and (much to my own amazement) a couple of cormorants. I was tickled to watch the cormorants diving and coming up with a fish to swallow whole with one quick gulp. There was also an abundance of turtles of varying sizes.

On the Fourth of July weekend, my baby brother, Dale, and his family came down for the festivities. This was to be my first time for seeing my brother since `83. I would see how much my nephews had grown and meet my niece for the first time. We had a wonderful weekend together and they certainly had accepted Paddy into the family. (You can read more of Dale and his brood on another page.)

Before my assignment was up, I had asked the Supervisor if she would consider keeping me on as full time staff. She was delighted and after a bit of haggling on my wages, I would start as staff a week after my assignment ended. I needed a week off so that Paddy and I could drive up to Canada to visit his Mom. This would be my first time out of the US and we had no trouble going through customs. We had an enjoyable visit with his Mom (who accepted me quickly) and were on our way home when disaster struck.

We had arrived at the border to the US and were told to go inside and report. The INS agent who was questioning, us asked Paddy how long he had been in the US before returning to Canada. He answered that he had been down here for about eight months. The woman looked at us with quiet reserve and then excused herself. She went into an office and came back out with a tall, important looking man, who was introduced to us Agent Smith. I was next directed to sit in a corner behind the counter away from everyone and offered a cup of coffee. Paddy's eyes and mine connected with fear and confusion. I did as I was told and Paddy was then taken into Agent Smith's office and the door was closed. Long minutes passed and my fears escalated. The thoughts of "What did we do wrong?" ran through my head. When he came out he wasn't allowed near me. It was obvious they were intetnionally keeping us apart so that there would be no chance for us to set up like stories. It was now my turn to go into Agent Smith's office. I forced myself to remain calm and answered all questions directed to me and would ask some questions to be repeated so I thoroughly understood what was being asked of me. Thank goodness, Paddy and both answered the same way on almost all the questions. Paddy was so scared that he got confused on a couple, but I don't think those were held against him. The long and the short of the matter was, that Paddy had remained in the US for two months too long and wasn't being allowed to re-enter the US because of it.

So we were directed to return to the Canadian border. Again, we had to go through customs. This time I was asked if I had had any felony arrests, to which I said no, the man continued, "This includes any DUIs." To this I had said yes (whole other story I won't get into now). He told me that was a felony in Canada and that they will not allow me in unless I got a "Rehabilatation Pardon" from Canada.

Paddy and I were devastated. Now, not only were we being separated, there wasn't much of a chance of us even being able to visit one another.

We then called his Mom to have her drive down and pick him up. I was slowly crumbling, thinking of my drive home, alone. I tried hard to not cry, but I just couldn't contain the flood that was soon pouring down my cheeks. We slowly pulled Paddy's bags out of the back of the car, making sure he had all that he would need for his exile. I was soon directed to turn my car around and make for the American border. I pulled the car over as I awaited the final papers to return home. I got out of the car to give Paddy a last hug. I held tightly to him and he to me. I felt my world collapsing around me as I sobbed without abandon. Three agents looked on, their faces blank, showing no emotion to our dilemma.

With papers in hand and a final look at the lost Love of my life, I got back in the car and drove away. I wasn't five miles across the border when I had to pull the car over as I was overwhelmed with sorrow. I did this two more times before I reached my brother's home. Okay, I was a wreck. I left my brother's at the crack of dawn and once more made my lonely journey.

Were Paddy and I doomed to be separated forever? This question will be answered in my next entry.

"From Sadness to Wedding Bliss"