From Sadness to Wedding Bliss

Most of you are probably letting out a sigh of deep relief at this point. "She's finally finishing this story and we will be able to go on with our lives."

No, the story will never end for Paddy and I. Only for you, the reader. For us, there are many years ahead of us, or so we hope. Anyhow, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me get going with this story.

Indeed, this was definately a great upheaval in my life. The silence in the apartment rendered me almost to the brink of insanity. I would turn on the radio or the TV just so I had another human voice within the four walls of my confines. I would talk to Morton just to hear my own voice. Talking on the phone to Paddy and family members helped some. But I needed more than that. I needed the human touch and that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Going back to work was difficult. I found myself crying at the most inopportune times. Doctors don't appreciate their scrub crying in the middle of a case. It was hard to keep my mind on anything but the lonliness and loss I was feeling. I really did miss Paddy.

It didn't go unnoticed by my co-workers or my boss. I spoke little, never saying anything more than what was required of me to do my job. Smiling, well, I could never seem to bring a smile to my face without a lot of effort. Nothing worse then a forced smile. Try as they might, the folks I worked with, they did their utmost best to bring me into conversations, to get me interacting with them. I met them only with silence and a blank look or answered in monosyllables. Yes, I kept to myself, going outside during my breaks and avoiding contact with others.

Upon arriving home, I would call Paddy up. We would share the agonies of making it through yet another day. Speaking words of our love, how we missed one another and, quite often, shedding tears. The one who cried first would be consoled by the other. We tried to be strong, if not for ourselves, we would do it for the other. That sounds easier than it really is.

After a time of mourning, we both set into, with earnest, getting paperwork accomplished and mailed in to the INS. You would not believe the tons of forms we had to fill out. Getting fingerprints done, police clearances, photos, letters and physicals (well, Paddy had to get the physical, it wasn't reguired of me). I scrimped to get enough money up to pay for processing fees and Paddy borrowed from his folks.

In the mean time, Paddy's Mom bought a computer and Paddy initiated a ISP so that we could save a little more money by talking to each other on line instead of on the phone. We took to playing on line games together. Diablo was our favorite, since our characters could pretty much interact with one another. That gave us the sense of closeness. We did on line Role Playing Games, initiating other people to play with us. We were making the most of our situation. It gave us the pause we needed to not think of our forced separation.

The months passed slowly. November arrived with Paddy and his folks coming down for a short visit during Thanksgiving week. I got to meet his Dad for the first time. Now I know why his Dad had the nickname of Moose. He's a giant of a man! But his behavior belayed his great size. Moose is actually a very sedate and quiet man. A big old Teddy bear, if you please. I had a good time with them and got/gave as much loving as I could from/to Paddy in the short time we had together. We celebrated the first year that Paddy and I had met (remember, we first met in person on Thanksgiving Night) and their first American Thanksgiving a couple of days early. They had to be getting back to Canada the next day. It was a wonderful traditional meal.

The next day was tearful. I was regretting their leaving as they packed up the van. Soon, Paddy was out of my life again.

Christmas wasn't very joyful. Once again, work had denied me the time to go to my brother's for yet another holiday. This was two major holidays in a row and New Years was added to it. I did try to keep myself busy during the Holidays, buying gifts and cards for my family, kids and Paddy. I decorated a little, my Christmas decorations were still in Connecticutt with Rod. I made do with taping cards I had received up on the wall and hung some small ornaments I had made from a kit in the window. I did go up to my brother's in February and we had a somewhat belated Christmas there.

Wouldn't you know, I drove in the worse blizzard, following in it's wake all the way up to Wilkes-Barre Pennsylvania. I had to stop almost every twenty miles to knock the frozen snow off my wipers and clean off the windshield. The trip took me ten hours. Normally, it only takes five. That trip was almost as bad as my cross country trip.

I pulled into Dale's at about two in the morning. He let me in the house with a big hug, telling me how glad he was that I had made it through the storm. He and his wife had followed what my progress would have been on the weather channel. Telling me that I was just barely staying ahead of the storm. Ahead of the storm? You mean there was worse hot on my tail?!?!?!

April arrived with good news. Paddy was coming home! He had gotten his Visa! We made arrangements with Dale (my bro) for me to drive up to his home and then drive with Dale up to the Canadian border to pick up Paddy.

I drove up after work and rush hour traffic, Friday night, making good time and arriving shortly after midnight. Well, I sank into my favorite spot in the living room, exhausted. I then decided, it might be a good idea to take off my jacket so I could relax more before hitting the bed. There was one more trip to be made to the Canadian border later in the morning. I got my jacket off, and looked up to see the most wonderful sight! Paddy was leaning up against the doorway to the dining room! I ran to him, nearly knocking him off his feet with my exuberance. I held onto him so tightly, tears of happiness pouring down my flushed cheeks.

Monday morning, we went to the Wilkes-Barre Courthouse and got our marriage license. Paddy had 90 days to get married upon re-entering the US and submit the next set of paperwork. After much juggling, we set the wedding date for May 15th. A Saturday and my 47th birthday.

Our wedding wouldn't make "Wedding of the Year" but, it was as close I have ever dreamt of it being. I wore no wedding gown, there were no tuxedos, heck, I didn't even have a bouquet. It was a very casual affair, everyone comfortably dressed. Held in my brother's home, the food wasn't catered, it was a barbecue and we all changed into shorts and tees, not having to worry about soiling our good clothes.

"From Bliss To Chaos"