May I say I'm sorry

Why do I feel the way that I do,
Can't someone just be there for me.
Take me by my hand and just kinda say,
That alright is how everything is goin to be.

I need to know that you love me,
Or that you even care if I live or die.
When Im gone and not there for you anymore,
You'll be stuck wondering why.

Sitting here waiting for some sign,
That I might be ok.
It is killing me from inside out,
So go to bed next time and for me just pray.

Pray that I live through the night,
And if you care, pray that you speak to me again.
And when they ask why I did it,
You will be the one stuck to explain.

You can tell them that I was never happy,
That there was only one that was there for me.
Tell them that this was the best thing,
And now I am free from all of life's misery.

Tell them only one girl offered her hand,
That she helped me through life.
But the future held bad news,
knowing we could never be man or wife.

So I lost what I wanted,
Gained an eternity in my own hell.
As I sit thinking of that one special person,
As I am forgotten in my morbid cell.

She will be the last to go through my head,
To be the last person I would say "I'm Sorry" to.
And for all the help she gave me,
I just want to say "Thank You."

If you're reading this,
You know that It is you.
So please accept my apologize,
As I do what I have to do.

Im so sorry it ended this way,
That we could not ever hold hands.
That I never got my hug or my kiss,
Just go through life now with your own plans.

Because Im gone and probably forgotten,
I wanted only to be happy in this life.
So goodbye, I am gone,
May my troubles get killed with this knife.