Writer's Block

“In tonight’s news, a 43 year old accountant from Campbell was charged with manslaughter in an apparent case of cell phone rage.”

“That’s right Lisa, let’s go to Bob who’s on the scene right now.”

“Good evening Lisa and Dick. I’m here at the Starbuck’s at Julian and The Alameda where this horrific crime took place. Witnesses tell us that April Paddock, an accountant and aspiring writer was seated at this very table attempting to write a short story, 2,000 words or less.

Across from her, seated at this table over here, was the victim, Malcolm MacArthur. A witness, Starbuck’s barista Deveena De Trollio, tells us what happened.”

“Well like, you see, uh that lady, the writer one, well she was like uh writing. And and, the guy, well like uh, he was on his cell phone and he was like ummm super loud. And the writer lady she kept givin’ him these like super bitchy looks. You could tell she was like uh pissed, yah pissed. And me, I’m standing at the espresso machine making up three, no four, Venti non fat extra whipped cream triple shot 140 degree mochas.

And then, and then, that uh writer lady comes flyin’ over, grabs the whipped cream canister right outta my fuckin’ hand and I start screamin’ “Bitch, I need that for my orders!” But she like just runs over to the cell phone dude and shoves the entire nozzle up his nose. It was GROSS!”

“Paramedics pronounced Malcolm MacArthur dead at the scene, his brain punctured by the whipped cream canister. The assailant was taken into custody by San Jose police. Witnesses report hearing her mutter ‘Goddamn writer’s block” as she was placed in the police car. Back to you, Dick and Lisa.”