Spirit Seeker

Sarah Brave Deer stopped at the edge of the burial ground of her ancestors. She admonished herself for not living up to her birth name, she was generally much braver than this, but venturing near the sacred grounds robbed her of that bravery. The arrival of dusk didn’t help matters, nor did the crowding timber that encircled the sacred home of her dead ancestors.

She drew in a deep breath, half expecting to inhale the odor of death. That was not the case. Pure untainted oxygen filled her lungs as they expanded. Only the faintest scent of scrub juniper and the more overpowering scent of conifer reached her nose. In the waning light, she could just make out the silhouettes of the raised daises of the departed. Various feathers fluttered in the breeze, as did bits of weather worn fabric and animal hides. Sarah was surprised at how many there were and even more by the fact that they all appeared intact for all the centuries they had been here. She made herself believe that there must be some caretaker, someone very human and not spectral.

She was here to try to understand, and to come to terms with her heritage. The death of her grandmother made it even more necessary. Grandma Fox Tail had been her last link to her heritage. Her parents had expired in a car accident when a drunk driver slammed them broadside one night as they were returning from a tribal meeting. The driver was acquitted of vehicular manslaughter, much to the consternation of the Elders of her tribe. The man was allowed to walk with only having to pay a large fine for DUI and some community service. That was generally how all court cases came out, in Sarah‘s opinion, in favor of the white man.

None-the-less, her grandmother was left to raise her from the time she was three. In that twenty years, she was raised with the knowledge of the old ways. She was still allowed to discover the new ways of the world, but Grandmother Fox didn’t want her to forget her heritage. So she learned how to do many of the tasks that her people did for a millennium, from starting a fire without matches or a lighter, hunt and fish, forage from what nature had to offer and to always thank the spirits for what was given.

Sarah shivered when a chilled wind sprung up, she clamped her arms about herself to quell the gooseflesh that ran up her bare arms. It was time to set up for what she had to do this night and quickly before the depths of night erased any remaining light.

Sarah shrugged her backpack from her shoulders, easing it to the ground. She knelt down to get her jacket out, pulling it on quickly. Once she started feeling warm again, she pulled out the rest of the contents. Amongst them was a broad but short length of hemp rope. She laid this carefully to the side. Sarah would be using it later to move into the Spirit World. With a battery-operated lantern, she sought out wood, tinder and rocks to start a safe fire.

She had a good blaze going fairly well and began to unroll her sleeping robe. Within it was the doe skin dress Sarah and her Grandmother had made. It was the last project they had done together, she was very proud of it. She loved how the soft hide felt next to her skin. There was also a pair of moccasins and a leather band with a hawk feather for her to put around her head. These were all essential items needed to seek counsel with the Spirits of her Ancestors. She had already been fasting for two days and not drank any water since noon. All that was left was to don her ceremonial dress, burn the hemp and wait for the moon to rise. She would then make her trek into the burial site. If her thoughts were pure and she was found favorable, the Spirits would guide her in her quest to find her answer.

Midnight came slowly, Sarah was now dressed in her ceremonial clothing. The band of leather and the hawk feather encircled her black hair, glossy and scented from a pomade of apples. She knelt on the heavy woven robe in front of a still strongly burning fire, the hemp smoldered on a sturdy stick. She would occasionally wave the smoke into her face, inhaling deeply its sweet fragrance. What seemed like slow motion, the young woman turned her face skyward. Wispy clouds scudded across a half moon and a coyote voiced its loneliness with three yips and a long sustained howl. It was time.

Sarah came to her feet a bit wobbly, her lower legs had that pins and needles feeling from kneeling for so long. With the fire behind her, her form threw an eerie shadow ahead of her. Her eyes followed the length of her shadow before she raised them to look towards the burial ground. An involuntary shudder shook her slender body. Straightening up with shoulders back and chin up, she strode forward. Her bravery had returned to her.

When she stepped across the demarcation of where the burial grounds ended and began, she could perceive a noticeable difference. She could no longer feel the cold that even the fire couldn’t complete stave off. There was something else, something unexplainable. It nagged at the periphery of her perceptions, but refused to be identified. Just as suddenly, she felt she wasn’t alone. She looked up in time to see a white wolf jump down from one of the highest platforms. Sarah found herself strangely unafraid of the beast.

The wolf was huge, padding towards her on silent paws, tongue lolling off the side of its mouth. Muscles beneath its heavy white fur rippled with the fluid motion of its phantasmal form. The wolf went through large rocks and platform posts unobstructed until it was within a few feet of her. It sat back on its haunches, mouth open in a expressiveness that resembled a smile.

As she watched in profound silence, the wolf wavered and shifted, became less discernable. When Sarah blinked, it was now an ancient man sitting cross legged on the ground in front of her.

“Good evening, Grandfather, “ she said, her tongue felt dry and cottony.

“O-hay-yo, Granddaughter. It does me good to see that some of our children still follow the olden ways. Your grandmother was very wise to see that you did. But you are not here for that. What is it that troubles you Sarah Brave Deer?”

In a singular graceful movement, Sarah sat down in the same fashion as the Spirit before her. “Grandfather, the white men will not allow me to bring grandmother up here to be laid to rest amongst her people. I couldn’t save my mother and father from the faith of the white man ways, I was much too young. But now, I am a woman, I should be allowed to make the decision of how she is to spend her long sleep.”

The old man clucked his tongue, wagging his head. “We have been oppressed by the white man’s ways for many moons, Sarah, we have gone along with them to keep the peace.”

“But Grandfather!” she said in a voice a little louder than she intended and continued with a more respectable tone, “they’ve never really made peace with us. They lied to us, took away our lands, our livelihoods and most of our freedom. Now they want to take away my heritage. I cannot allow that.”

“No, Sarah, they cannot take that away from you, your grandmother saw to that when she taught you the old ways. It is now up to you to carry them on. Teach your sons and daughters the same way and our heritage will never be loss, for you carry it in your mind and heart.” The old man’s words carried like a whisper to her ears.

Sarah looked at her hands folded in her lap, contemplating his words. His next words brought her out of her thoughts, “Granddaughter, look around you.”

Lifting her eyes, she scanned the burial grounds. Creatures of all shapes and sizes surrounded the two of them. A fox sat in the fore-front. Sarah instantly knew that it was her Grandmother, and it was confirmed when the fox materialized into the familiar figure of the woman who had raised her. One by one, the animals turned into the ethereal forms of her People.

“You see, Sarah Brave Deer, your Grandmother is right where she should be, spiritually if not physically. Do not worry about the white man’s ways. Just continue as you have.”

Sarah smiled serenely, a great weight lifted off her heart. As she sat there, her People began a soft chant, like the soughing of the wind in the trees. She stretched out on the ground and fell asleep. The Spirits all smiled and faded away. The Spirit Seeker had completed her mission.