This Weekend

This Weekend

125 million people will get laid.
56 million will go hungry.
38 million will eat hotdogs.
250 thousand will practice a musical instrument.
19 million men will wax their carrot.
32 million will get drunk.
16 million will take a bribe.
136 million will pass gas.
19 million women will polish their boat.
36 million people will watch a reality television program.
24 thousand will express compassion for the 56 million that will go hungry.
82 million will say I got mine, go get your own.
21 million will attend some form of religious activity while screwing their neighbor.
22 million will attend a sports activity.
256 million ice cream cones will be eaten.
2 million 16 thousand adults will buy video games for themselves.
39 million children will be abused.
52 million adults will be beaten by the one who loved them most.
16 thousand will string their own guitars.
39 million children will continue to be abused.
18 thousand children will die of starvation.
12 thousand dogs will knot-up.
5 million couples will untie the knot.
8 American soldiers will die in Iraq.
21 American soldiers will receive disabling injuries in Iraq.
1 corporation will receive another no-bid contract in Iraq.
2 country music songwriters will write another song about Iraq.
1 American President will still say "bring'em on".