ENERGY AND HOW WE USE IT

This is an excerpt of -

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THERAPY!  [18+] My therapy sessions in detail. Join me on the couch! By: UY...

We all have energy. If we didn't, we wouldn't be alive. How we use and channel that energy plays a big role in our lives. I'm going to use myself for examples only because I'm obviously familiar with myself. I deal with many issues that many of you reading probably do as well, so I'm sure you can relate to some of what I talk about here. How we channel our energy can make a huge difference in our lives.

My problems lately have been largely physical. Besides, the depression, I've had problems with my knees, stomach trouble, and headaches. After years and years of hearing there was nothing physically wrong with me, I started to believe that stress can actually affect our bodies.

And it is true. Here is why:

Our energy has to go somewhere. Many people channel their energy into work, functions at home, kids, hobbies, and exercise. The list goes on to include a wide variety of things. People do enough positive things in their lives to release their tension and stress so they are able to continue functioning at a healthy level. But what if we collect energy; a lot of negative energy, but then don't expend it positively? Meaning- what if we walk around angry all the time but we choose to bottle it inside without venting, hitting, yelling, screaming, or crying? We slouch in our chairs, angrily close our minds to positiveness, and cross our arms, thus effectively shutting out positiveness. We ooze apathy, attitude and negativity. It's both very uncool and very non-productive.

That energy still has to go somewhere. And after time, that energy will go somewhere. It will go to our heads, stomachs, legs, back, neck- all over our body. It will find a place to go. And that's where we start having problems.

We get headaches, nausea, diarrhea, back pain, leg pain, neck pain - pains we know are real because we feel them, but pain that has no "real physical cause". So we go to the doctors office repeatedly and come away time and time again frustrated because "there's nothing wrong with us."

Truth is- there's a lot wrong with us. The stress that we allowed to build up within us is manifesting itself in the form of physical pain. This is very true for chronic pain sufferers, people with fibromyalgia and people with other diagnosed but little understood diseases and ailments. Does this sound like you?

I noticed today, and I brought it up in group, that when my finances went down after our overtime was cut out that I was able to give here a lot less. I used to buy $200 of Gift Points most months. Anyone who knows me knows I like to give them away in various forms. I felt happy to give. I still do. I couldn't do that nearly as often as I wanted to because I had taken a $1,000 per month pay cut. I became forced to live paycheck to paycheck instead of doing it by choice.

I realized today that my pains came back full force not too long ago, as did my depression.

The conclusion we came to was this:

For years, I walked around angry at everyone because I never addressed my issues. Sometimes it was for lack of trying, but mostly, it was because no one would hear me. I couldn't talk about the abuse I suffered because no one cared, no one listened. So I shut up about it for years. And the pressure began building.

I learned that anger was not going to solve my problems - it actually created a plethora of new problems- but my body knew that all the energy built up over the years still had to go somewhere, or my blood pressure would soar, I'd have a heart attack, stroke, or something else.

So when I first came here a year ago, I quickly realized my energy could go somewhere- into doing a lot here and giving as much as I could.

When my income dropped suddenly and by so much, the pressure began building again- only faster, because I had nowhere to channel all that still pent-up energy. Giving was the the only way I knew to release a lot of it. Some people have told me that I was giving too much, because I sometimes gave a lot more than I had to give, both monetarily and emotionally. I couldn't believe that. How does one give too much? But it's true! If you give too much, and you are focusing your energies on one specific avenue of release with no backup, it will backfire if that channel is suddenly blocked, or shut down like my avenue was. If you will read my journal, "Troubled Within"  [18+] and begin reading from the beginning to the present, you will see where my mind has taken me and where my ups and downs were. You will see that not too long after I couldn't give nearly as much that I became highly volatile and extremely angry. The depression would come back full force leaving me feeling powerless to do anything productive, constructive and positive. When something positive was cut from my life, I started having problems.

This is also why it's so important to keep a journal. One can always go back and see their past patterns and thoughts and learn from those.

It's incredibly important to find ways to release all the energy one has built up inside them. Chances are, most of us have a lot more than we realize. If we hurt all the time, cry, are despondant, sleep too little or too much, don't eat, or eat too much- all classic signs of depression- we're not releasing enough energy, positively, and need to change something in our lives.

It's a choice we all have the power to make. The question is- are we willing to make that choice as individuals to feel better mentally and physically?