Letter to my Father

March 1, 2004



Dad,

         It amazes me that this is the first letter that I have ever written to you. Although some would say that I’m a little late, I know that somehow you will understand. I wish that I could have conveyed these feelings that I am trying to express in this letter when you were with me. But I would not have known how, then. I’m not sure that you would have let me say them. You hid your feelings from me so well. I learned that from you.

         As I near the age that you were when you had your first stroke, it seems surreal to me. I still see you from the eyes of a child. You were bigger than life to me. You were the wisest man I knew. You had a toughness that was magnified by your service to the Marine Corps and years of working in the oilfields of South America and Oklahoma. I was frightened of you and felt totally protected from the world when I was with you.

         I was not ready for you to die. But even more so, I was not ready for my dream to be dissolved. As you and I both grew older, I saw the weakness in your character. It hurts me even today to know that you were not perfect. I am still in denial. But regardless of what you became, which was just a sick and confused old man, I still stand fortified by your strengths. They made me what I am today. So I thank you for those things.

         I thank you for your honesty. You taught me that a man is only as good as his word. You taught me that truth prevails over falsehood. You taught me to pay my debts, that by doing that you earn the respect of others. You taught me that there is a time for me to stand for what is right, regardless of the consequences. Loyalty is more important than dollars. You taught me that it is more important to “make a hand” than to receive a “hand-out”. You taught me that regardless of how little I have in life, there is pride in an honest day’s work. All these things you taught me.

         It has taken me a while to learn these things Dad. I hope that you are proud of me. I never knew for sure if you were. But regardless, I will always be proud of who I am and that I am your son. When I was young, I was proud to be walking by your side. I considered it a place of privilege. It is my prayer that my sons will feel the same. I think they will, because you taught me well and they have both of us as examples. Goodbye Dad, and thanks.

Your son,


Danny