....."Fixed Marriage"

Another anniversary with "Verbal Abuse"
Certainly, he's cursing me through personal views
And, inadvertently, making my life a masterpiece
of laughter and grief,
forever wishing my disasters would cease
With nothing to cherish, I must inherit mental tricks to bear with
embarassment inside this "fixed marriage" picked by my parents
Social workers take my "inner" child and scream it's my fault
Blame my "husband" for this dream come false

He made my birth apologize,
He made me serve a hollow life,
He was the tear in my ear that's kept my worth monopolized for years.
But shallow eyes aren't cleared for everything
No one's geared to see the wedding ring he placed on my mind.
Though Jesus' name always eases the pain,
"He" remains behind a chattered disguise and voiced plot.
No matter how wise my choice got, no noise stops
Help me strategize a boycott against this Joy cop

I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage
I need a divorce to resurrect my inner child's carriage
I need full custody if you'll be judging me with fairness
Because so much of me has since perished
I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage."
So many played into this nightmarish life that I might have cherished.
And there is nothing of me more disparaged
I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage"

Throughout the battery, my fate was taxed
When he changed his name to "Flattery," I'd take him back
I chose the pretty deceptions over the ugly truths
Because my empty collection of those who love me rules
My psychological pressures travel so far beyond the optical measure,
You're naive to think I bottled my treasures because I'm shy
The "real me" should back the milk cartons
But who could give a description to get the trail started?
Our tongues are tied
Before the gentle dissection from his insanity,
Before all the mental digestion questions from my family not understanding me,
I was entwirled in these mental whirlwinds
for only trying to be a simple girlfriend
So if you celebrate the sale of hate he delegates to me,
going back since my nursery days,
the "anniversary" stays
And I'm the first to be slayed....
by everybody's verbal lack of mercy displayed.

I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage"
I need a divorce to resurrect my inner child's carriage
I need full custody if you'll be judging me with fairness
Because so much of me has since perished
I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage"
So many played into this nightmarish life that I might have cherished
And there is nothing of me more disparaged
I need a divorce to break this "fixed marriage"

Written By: Jwyan (Eleven-Five) Johnson

Verbal abuse stays with you. I dedicate this poem to every unnecessary tear amongst us, by us. Please speak carefully to your children and loved one's. Let them enjoy the "single life"

God Bless