It's All the Same

         They had nothing to say to each other. The lines of communication had been completely severed. He was in one corner, and she in another, and the distance between them lay deep and seemingly un-crossable. "Please come here?" was not going to cross the gap. In any situation, communication is based on understanding, or at least the mutual goal of achieving understanding. These two had reached a level of frustration that had managed to erase the last semblance of desire to try and share meaning. He was so confused by her mixed signals that he'd tuned her out completely in self-preservation, and she was so miserable from his lack of attention that she had given up - both on him, and on herself.

         Fortunately, there was someone there, an expert in this type of relationship issue, who cared enough about both of them to want to guide them across the chasm. Crossing it though, would require both parties to come from their deeper selves. At this moment, the expert observed him, standing sullen, wrapped up in his own world, feeling no sense of connection or any reason to do other than withdraw into his own feelings. She faced him with an expression of complete exasperation; angry and upset at his seeming dis-respect and dismissive attitude.

         "Try first to let go of your anger, before you do anything further" came the advice. "You obviously are not making any progress with your present approach, so look at this situation as an opportunity to clean the slate and start all over again between the two of you. I know that sounds like a cliche`, but there is truth to be found in it. However, your demeanor and the energy you project comes directly from your thoughts, whether you chose to believe that or not. Change your mind about how you are feeling in this moment. Decide that you will sincerely attempt a dialogue now that comes from a place of calm and caring. Then start small and build on that."

         She listened carefully, and a small inroad through her dispair seemed to be carved by the words spoken. She relaxed her posture, took a deep breath, and turned to face Tommy with a sincere attempt at a new attitude towards him. "I won't be angry anymore Tommy," she thought to herself, "instead, I want you to feel my concern. And love. We've got our whole lives ahead of us; I've waited so long for you to show up in my life. I don't want it to end like this, before it's even had a chance to begin." Those thoughts allowed her to take a few tentative steps forward in a state of genuine concern for their relationship. Sensing the change in her energy, Tommy turned himself around to face her.

         She didn't want to break the connection she suddenly felt as Tommy's eyes met her's. Now what, she thought. Her hope for more guidance was gratefully answered as she heard, "walk toward him a few steps. The next move, if you two are going to make it, needs to come from him. You need to care enough to be paitient, and take the time it takes. Trust has been lost between you, and your lack of confidence has projected itself to him as fear. I think he'll need a little time to make that first step and approach you. But if you're sincere in your desire, he'll come to trust your intent."

         It didn't take long. Tommy wanted to get along, and somehow sensed that things had changed between them. He walked up to her slowly and deliberately, reaching out gently. She sighed and smiled and choked back a sob at the same time, as the seemingly simple gesture on his part and the accompanying emotion of the moment got to her. How forgiving he was, how amazing his controlled strength now channeled into gentleness. She stroked his offered nose softly, grateful for the second chance to begin again to try and form a relationship with this horse that meant the world to her.

         The old cowboy sat on the railing of the round corral looking down at the two and grinned. "Horses and life," he thought to himself, "it really is all the same."