Send the Pain Below

Send the Pain Below
Please somebody make it stop hurting. Please will someone help me because I can't take it. I can't find that part of me that pushes the pain away. I can't make it stop hurting. I have short periods of complete numbness that help me keep going, but who in their right mind wants to live like that? Especially when that numb feeling is becoming harder to find. Why does it hurt so bad? Why does all of this pain come from one person; and why in the fuck did I call him again?Am I trying to commit emotional suicide? Seems like it. I don't have enough respect for myself to just let him go. Cut my losses and move the fuck on. You'd think that I like torturing myself. That's what it looks like to me. One God damned moment of weakness and I completely cave in. I called him. This time he answered. I'm so stupid! I got the truth though. Straight up. The truth hurts sometimes. Damn right it hurts!