Burn Out

Author's Note: The following piece was originally published in Embrace, a small local newsletter for Catholic Homeschooling moms.

There is this myth out there that SOME PEOPLE have it all together. You know the ones. They are in leadership at church or in support groups or in service. Their kids are well-behaved in public & successful academically, their marriages are secure. You can always count on them to fill in the gap when someone is in crisis. They can "handle it". They don't struggle like you do.

It is an illusion. Don't believe it! ALL of us carry crosses that, but for the Grace of God, crush us. ALL of us struggle. ALL of us hurt. No one "has it easy". This reality came home recently. May I stand up publicly and say, "My name is Wendy. I am burned out!"

I realized how serious the problem was recently when, for the very first time in my eleven years of home schooling, the thought crossed my mind that maybe I should send the older kids to school so that someone else could be the bad guy for a few hours of the day. It shook me up. I had to look at myself, and I didn't like what I was seeing. I am a woman still caught in unresolved grief from miscarriage, feeling cut off and unwanted by her extended family, facing the physical and emotional mess of premenopause, feeling distant from her husband and hated by her children, exhausted with 24-hour-a-day responsibility, afraid to speak up because I am surrounded by a host of friends struggling with "real" problems like substance abuse, infidelity, lost jobs, divorce, cancer, domestic violence, run-away teens, suicidal thoughts, even sexual abuse of their children. The last straw came with the anguished final weeks before our pastor's public announcement of his alchoholism, the loss of a daily sacramental life when he left for treatment, and the burden of so many parishioners who needed someone to talk to.

In desperation, I sent out an impassioned letter to a number of the wonderful faith-filled people God has put in my life, venting my frustration and... well, dumping on THEM. The support in response has been incredible. The crisis is still here, but their prayers & gentle words are carrying me. I'm going to make it. I am NOT alone.

I want to encourage all the rest of you who are drowning (I know you're out there) to take advantage of the Christian community around you. You don't have to carry it alone. It's OK to admit you are having trouble. If you are reading this, then I know you have contact with a large group of people who are struggling with some of the very same issues you are. No one is beyond needing support.