The Ghost of Old Ned

Old Ned loved the zoo animals, but Old Ned was fired from his job. It broke his heart and he died. Now Ned's ghost has come in the middle of the night and released all the animals. It's the next morning and the new zookeeper mulls over his problem...


The cages stand empty; the animals are gone.
The zookeeper shivers as he sits all alone
At the picnic pavilion overlooking the lake
And ponders the moves he could possibly make.

The police are out looking; the beasts will be found...
But the danger remains with Old Ned around.
The zookeeper frowns, remembering his boast --
"We have nothing to fear from that crazy old ghost!"

His aggressive self-confidence was certainly misplaced;
Now his job is in jeopardy -- He could be replaced
With a new zookeeper who respects the Unseen
And knows what the Tarot and Zodiac mean.

The zookeeper rises, shakes his head in disgust...
If he must study witchcraft... Well, then, he must!
The lights in his eyes burn with flames flickering red --
"By God!" he calls out. "I'll vanquish Old Ned!"


Old leather books and a bright crystal ball,
A cloak of black velvet that hangs in the hall,
Sprinkles of powder on skulls of the dead --
The zookeeper learns how to vanquish Old Ned.

Now the sky is black and the moon is bright;
The zookeeper has planned his mission tonight.
He grabs what he needs; his footsteps are hurried;
He goes to the graveyard where Old Ned is buried.

There in the graveyard he raises his arm
And holds up a chain with a small silver charm.
The charm is the key that fits the zoo gates;
The zookeeper stands and patiently waits.

The sound of two stones sliding slowly apart
Stops the zookeeper's breath and speeds up his heart.
A gravestone is moving, uncovering the hole
Where ten years ago they buried Ned's soul.

The preacher said then "May his soul rest in heaven",
But Ned was too angry - he had not forgiven
The people that hired him, then fired him in spite.
Now he'll take his revenge on this moonlit night.

A night when the city is peacefully asleep,
A night when Ned's ghost to the zoo will creep,
But not tonight, not tonight, the zookeeper's here.
He looks at Old Ned and trembles with fear.

"Be gone you old ghost, stay away from my zoo!
I'm the zookeeper now! It is no longer you!"
"No!" cries Old Ned, "You can not know my pain!"
Then he notices the charm that hangs on the chain.

"Why do you show me that sparkling ring?"
And Old Ned comes closer to look at the thing,
"It's not a ring, Old Ned, it's the old zoo key.
It carries a spell that will now set you free..."

And the zookeeper flings the chain around Ned --
"By the key you are free! Go sleep with the dead!"
The spirit of Old Ned grows brilliantly white,
And shoots like a comet away in the night.

The zookeeper watches till it fades far away.
His thoughts are quite cheerful: "It will be a new day."
But leaving the graveyard he turns back his head
And waves once and whispers "Good-bye, Old Ned..."