Wordy? What's That? -5-10-04

What Does That Mean?

You get a review. It recommends that you tighten your writing. It says you're writing in 'passive voice', change to 'active'. And your piece is too 'wordy'! Fix it!

Huh? What is this!

I was told these things as a new member. I had no idea what they meant, let alone how to fix them. Having taken no writing classes at all, I didn't know the terminology. I have done a little studying since then though, and have kept my eyes open; so I've learned a bit. I have far to go, but eventually I will write a decent piece.

When it comes right down to it, a few of these things are the same.

To tighten you must stop being wordy.
To write in active voice, you must stop being wordy.

What is wordy? The use of unnecessary words. I still use too many, but at least I know it now. I know what to look for.

# weak, passive voice: The skater was slammed into the wall by Maria.

# strong, active voice: Maria slammed the skater into the wall.

In Passive, the writer hesitates to tell the story. In Active, he stands up and declares, "Maria did it!"

You won't be able to stop all passive sentences, and sometimes they are needed, just keep them to a minimum. One of the easiest to eliminate is the 'was - ing' combo. "He was standing in the corner." may not be a strictly passive line, but it's wordy. Changing it to "He stood in the corner." makes it active, strong and to the point. It takes care of the 'wordiness' at the same time.

Passive takes many more words to say the same thing that could be said in Active. Don't beat around the bush!

One word that really puts me off a read is -seemingly.- There's not many uses for it. Either they did or they didn't! He seemingly did this or that neither tells or shows anything.
Say it straight out-that's being strong and active.

I know this is a very simple definition, and not complete, but I'm learning as I go too. Hey, learning to write is hard!

# source
http://www.english.uiuc.edu/CWS/wWORKSHOP/writer_resources/grammar_handbook/acti...
_passive_voice.htm




Issue #126
05/10/2004