WC Newsletter #130: FF (Part 3)

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Weekly Editor's Letter:

Issue 130
05/31/2004
Edited by: newmeadowuno

Finding Falla: Tighter Writing (Part Three)

“Without mercy.” These words come back to haunt me as I edit Chapter Two in AMHL Glory: A Passion for Morning Hockey (and Donuts). If you remember the discourse from the first installments in this series, you realize I met Jack Falla with help from Geoffrey (Barnes & Noble Writers Group leader in Framingham Massachusetts). Falla authored Home Ice, a story about his backyard skating rink’s allure and how it has fostered productive relationships with his family and friends. Falla met with our group and told us he instructs his college students to edit their work “without mercy,” asking them to “find 20 words” to axe from each piece.

I thought I was ahead of the game. Before Falla met with us, I had already learned to write more as I speak, using contractions to limit word counts; I had also learned to remove words such as “that” in sentences like “I think that my writing is improving.” But I had more to learn.

One writing group member removed—at my request--his “word scalpel” from his white editing coat pocket then proceeded to bloody my masterpiece. I can’t thank him enough. Now that I’m alerted to additional words plaguing my prose, I can extract even more cumbersome words from the book about my early morning hockey league. For example, in Chapter Two, I used “of” 52 times.

Here are a few examples…

-the guy who made donuts the staple of the AMHL

-“Director of Donut Procurement”

-Lou, one of the rink operators

-Summer of 69

I can save my prospective book editor some time by reducing the 23 words above to the 19 below:

-The guy who made donuts an AMHL staple

-“Director of Donut Procurement” (can’t change this because it’s an official quoted title)

-Lou, a rink operator

-Summer of 69 (Bryan Adams wouldn’t appreciate me changing his title—not that I’d know how to change it)

Okay, it’s only four words, but when you look at the big picture, you left-brained math majors know a 17.4% reduction when you see one. In Chapter Two, I reworded 25 of the 52 sentences, reducing my word count considerably.

If you want to sell your work, you might realize “writing” doesn’t require much time relative to outlining, researching, marketing...and editing. So I implore you to use Microsoft’s Find tool then edit yourself without mercy until you learn to write it right the first time. I’ll let you know when I master that skill, but don’t hold your breath.





Next Weeks Editor:

The award-winnin’, Oreo-lovin’
esprit

Featured Works From Our Members:

For anyone wanting to wield the word scalpel…

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Writers Circle’s Newest Members…

Nature lover and Calgary Flame fan (and not a single instance using “of”…)

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This Week’s Quote (formerly known as Quote of the Week):

“I believe more in the scissors than I do in the pencil.”
Truman Capote

You’re invited to submit suggestions to the Writers' Circle editors. To submit an item for consideration in the WC newsletter:

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