chapter five

11 March 1974

Susie looked through the peep hole. Of course it was Evan. Who else would be here this early? She’d had trouble sleeping the night before and tried to contain a yawn while releasing the chain and opening the door.

“Morning, Angel. Ready?”

“Yeah, barely.” She was caught by the man beside him. He’d shaved the stubble from his chin and was … less tired judging by the sparkle in his eyes, and … even more gorgeous.

“Mornin’.”

His accent highlighted his melodic voice. But she felt Evan’s stare and pulled her thoughts together. "Good morning. So, he talked you into the job? Or you’re just checking out the gym today?”

“If he wants me there, I’ll take it.” His eyes again focused directly on hers. “And you work next door.”

“Yeah.” She turned her head away to break the … whatever it was. “Just let me grab my things.”

She stayed on the other side of Evan on the way to his car and slid into the middle from the door he held for her. The front seat was just big enough and his arm nudged her side while latching his safety belt. Susie would have assumed the innocent touch had been intended if it had been any other guy. Strange position, she mused, while the car moved out onto the road. In between the man she had known forever and wanted more of, and his buddy, who at least acted like he was interested in her. What would Evan think if she returned his interest?

After the short car ride, she agreed to meet them for lunch. Duncan’s eyes silently caressed her. The breeze was cool this morning and she pulled her sweater tighter around her waist, then turned away to head to the dance studio. She could feel his gaze all the way across the pavement and looked back before entering, but the two men had already disappeared into the gym.

Keeping her mind on the notes she had written to remind herself what her students needed to practice proved impossible. She kept seeing his eyes. The dark blue snares that pulled her in. And the handshake that held her still. He was the kind of guy she would stay away from except that he was Evan’s friend. Evan was very particular about who he called a friend. He had always had a lot of acquaintances, and people naturally gravitated toward him, but he mostly kept a wall between himself and others. Occasionally, though, he found someone he would let inside. Susie could count them on one hand – herself, his mom, her dad, Mike … and Duncan. Even Stu and Doug still seemed to be somewhere between acquaintances and friends, though she did count them as her friends. But she wasn’t quite as discerning. She needed people more than Evan did.

Deciding that even trying to concentrate was a waste of time, she got up from her small work table in the teachers’ lounge and reclaimed the bag holding her cassettes and dance shoes. There had to be a free room at this time of the day, since most classes were in the afternoon and evening.

Walking down the relatively quiet hallway, she paused for a moment to watch Janet giving one of her adult classes. She was great with the adults – better than with kids – and that made her a good studio manager, as well. Of course, she was six years older than Susie, a year older than Evan, but then, most of the teachers were closer to Janet’s age. Susie happened to be the youngest one. Even a couple of teachers’ helpers were older than she was. But, she was just as qualified as anyone else working there.

“Hi, Susie! You’re in early today.”

She turned, smiling. “Hey, Monica. Yeah, I rode in with Evan and thought I’d get some work done, but I can’t get my mind on it.”

“How is Evan? Haven’t seen him for a while.”

“He’s fine; busy with the band, as usual.”

“Oh, are they playing this weekend?”

“Friday night, at Maggie’s. You might want to come out if you can. I think he’s talked his friend into playing with them and he’s really good.”

“Maybe I will. Ronnie has cousins visiting and I don’t want them in my house all weekend.”

Susie chuckled as the bookkeeper left and continued down the hall. They were the strangest couple. Monica was a very straight-laced and highly intelligent business woman and Ronnie … well, Waylon Jenning’s “Good-hearted Woman” came to mind whenever Susie saw them together, thanks to Evan’s mom’s fervor for country music. She personally didn’t care for Ernest Tubb, or much of country music, though she did like that song. But from what she’d heard of Waylon’s voice so far, she believed he should sing it himself and do a better job.

Finding her favorite room empty, she went in, closed the door behind her, and slipped out of her flats and into her ballet shoes. With Mozart in the background, she began with a warm-up stretch, then fell in with the music. Thoughts of Evan and his friend dissolved into the energetic strains of Symphony Number 40 and the luxurious feeling of her muscles following their years of training. She rarely wore her toe shoes while working out, preferring the naturalness of the soft, well-worn slippers. Ballet had been her first love, other than her parents. Evan had been her second. She wasn’t sure anymore which would come first if she ever had to choose.

She danced through two symphonies and a serenade, then pulled her toe shoes on to spend a little time practicing her routine for the show. The theme this year was musicals and each teacher had chosen one musical to use for themselves and their students. She’d decided on West Side Story. Her four- and five-year-old ballet class was dancing to “I Feel Pretty,” and the same age jazz class was doing “Cool.” Her older students were covering the best songs on the rest of the soundtrack, with her most advanced soloist performing “Tonight” on pointe. This was her first year having a student on toe shoes, and she was more nervous about that routine than her own. Susie was starting her section of the show with “Something’s Coming.” She would do the lead in jazz with her jazz students joining her, and they would end with her ballet students accompanying her solo on “Somewhere.” The teachers and assistants who actually spoke to her had given her compliments on the choreography. The others had been avoiding her even more.

The song ended and she glanced at the clock. Another hour until she went to meet Evan. Maybe she would be able to study her notes now that she’d used some energy.

****

Evan watched as she brushed a strand of hair from her face. He loved sitting outside with her during lunch, on the old weathered-gray picnic table beside the gym. She was in her element here, with the breeze brushing her skin and playing with her silky hair, and the branches above partly sheltering her from the sun. Susie had always loved the spring, with the new green of the leaves and grass and the freshness of the air cleansed by the winter cold.

He was glad she had asked to come in with them so they could have this time together, even if they weren’t alone. Duncan wasn’t saying much, though, so they had time to catch up on what they had missed during the busyness of the prior week.

She was watching the kids on the nearby playground. He glanced over to see what she was smiling about and understood immediately. A small boy was pushing his smaller sister on a swing. He wouldn’t have assumed they were brother and sister except for their matching jackets.

“Remind you of something, does it?”

She looked back at him and grinned. “You know, I always knew how to do it myself. I just wondered how long you would believe I couldn’t.”

“I know. And I knew then.”

“You did not.”

He didn’t argue. His silence would answer as well.

“Then why did you keep pushing me?”

“Jeremy thought it was funny.”

“He knew that you knew? Why didn’t he tell me?”

“Because it made you happy and it was nice to see you smile for a change.”

She let her eyes wander back to the children. Her expression turned to thoughtfulness.

“Jeremy … your brother?”

Evan pulled his attention from her to answer his buddy. “Yes. They were cohorts. Now and then I regretted teaching her sign language.”

“Sign language?”

He noted Susie’s glance. “Jeremy was legally deaf. He could hear very loud noises as a blur but couldn’t make out words. She learned to talk to him much faster than we expected.” And she was wondering why he hadn’t told Duncan that his brother had been deaf, but didn’t ask.

“Was that the cause of the accident? Because he did no’ hear the car coming?”

“Well, we’re not sure it was. The guy was driving so fast, it most likely wouldn’t have made a difference.”

She looked at him again, then looked away. After all these years, she still couldn’t discuss it.

“You were friends with his brother also?”

Duncan was studying her. And she hesitated.

“Yes. And it was really unfair to Evan how we ganged up on him.”

He couldn’t help chuckling. “Yeah, and how many guitar strings did I lose that way?”

“Oh, you didn’t lose very many. We gave most of them back.”

“And some were still usable.” Evan explained to the guy sitting beside him. “They used to untie them while I was away and refuse to give them back until I took them to the park. Occasionally, they got used for other things first.” He threw a look at Susie.

She tried unsuccessfully to hold back her laughter, and he watched her. Now and then, he still saw the fragile little girl he first knew. No matter how old they both got, he couldn’t imagine ever losing that image.

“You know, I never told you this, but … he proposed to me when I was ten.”

Evan studied her face. Was she serious? Had his little brother beaten him to it? “He what?”

“He said I was the only girl he could talk to, other than his mom, so if I didn’t marry him he wouldn’t be able to get married. I guess that was logical to a twelve-year-old.”

“And what did you say?” She surely hadn’t agreed.

Susie looked down at her hands, playing with her napkin. “I told him to ask me again when I was thirteen because I wasn’t old enough yet.” She took a deep breath. “That’s the first thing I thought of the day I turned thirteen.”

Two years after they had lost him. Evan wondered whether his brother would have actually asked her again. Knowing Jeremy, probably so. They had been very close.

“And wha’ would you have said?” Duncan waited until she looked up. “If he had been around to ask you again? Would you have married him?”

“Well, thirteen isn’t as old as it seemed when I was ten.” She tried to avoid the question.

“No, bu’ would you still be together now? Engaged maybe?”

She was silent a moment, then shook her head softly. “Together as friends, I would hope, but not engaged. I never felt that way about him.”

Evan wished he could thank his buddy for asking what he’d wanted to know. He never would have. If she’d answered differently…

“Well, I need to get back to work.” She stood abruptly, gathering the discarded papers from her take-out sandwich and her still-half-full ginger ale.

He and Duncan did the same and followed her to the picnic area trash can, then to the well-worn path that led back to the gym.

“What time are you off?”

“Six.” She stopped. “Oh, you’ll have to wait an hour. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about that last night. I can try to get a ride from someone…”

“Angel, it’s fine.”

“You have rehearsal at seven. That won’t give you much time…”

“I have things to do, anyway.” He looked over at his buddy. “You mind staying until six?”

“No’ at all. I do no’ have plans.”

Other than rehearsing with them, Evan hoped. He hadn’t said for sure.

Susie pulled her eyes away from Duncan to answer. “Okay. I’ll come over as soon as I’m done.”

“We’ll meet you there. It’ll be getting dark by then.”

She started to object but saw his eyes and changed her mind. She had to know by now it wouldn’t do any good. He didn’t want her out by herself when it was even slightly dark.

****

Susie sat in the cool basement watching her band. Duncan was more relaxed tonight and Mike was more welcoming. This would work. Even Mike wouldn’t be able to push away this kind of talent, and Duncan was already getting along well with Stu. He did tend to have a question in his gaze when he talked to him, but he was talking to him. Evan was surprised. For the few minutes they’d had alone when he walked her into her apartment after work, he had asked for her thoughts about his friend. She’d found it hard to answer him, except to say that she shared his opinion about needing him in the band. That didn’t take any thought. But, personally … she wasn’t sure what to think yet. With a slight avoidance, she had told Evan that he would be worth getting to know.

She did want to get to know him. He was not like anyone she had ever met. And although he hadn’t made any physical contact since their handshake, she could still feel his touch.