Paragraphs; spacing and visibilty

Hey, everybody! I enjoy helping everyone with structuring of their paragraphs. The following paragraph is a bit compact, considering the amount of situations going on within its structure. There is no conclusive way to discern who's speaking, or when; looks as if we'll need a little spacing and visibility to correct this problem. Here are a couple of examples:


Aah, a newbie teacher, and the whole class could sense this.My name is Tim Johnson, and I am your new teacher for this year. He then faced the chalkboard to write down his name. Incoming, yelled an unknown student. Wick-wackum.Total pandemonium ensued. Tim's head became the first paper-ball landing site for the new semester. Bulls-eye, Tim yelled. I love that game! He knew intimidation. After all, he was once the best paper-ball thrower of his class during his senior year at his old high school.

The following is how that paragraph should end up as:

Aah, a newbie teacher, and the whole class could sense this.

"My name is Tim Johnson, and I am your new teacher for this year." He then faced the chalk-board to write down his name.

"Incoming," yelled an unknown student.

"Wick-wackum." Total pandemonium ensued.

Tim's head became the first paper-ball landing site for the new semester.

"Bulls-eye!" Tim yelled. "I love that game!"

He knew intimidation. After all, he was once the best paper-ball thrower of his class during his senior year at his old high school.

It sort of looks as if the edited version was pulled apart like an accordion. This accordion affect is all a part of what I call; spacing and visibility.

Whenever your story has a change of character, change of event, or breaks for narration, spacing and visibility is paramount.

Oh, and don't that beat all. My characters in my story have sprouted little personalities thanks to receiving "Quotation Marks." The same goes for individual sounds. "Quotation Marks" show when a character is talking, whispering or thinking, or even snoring.
Sort of like how a time stamp shows the exact occurrence of an event.

Let me know if my tutorial has made a difference in your writing skills.

http://www.myspace.com/leebrooks911