The Shoe Department

What a day I had and it was only my first day of work. You see I’m the first person, in a long line Crenshaw’s to have graduated high school and started a job where they actually deducted money from my pay for medical insurance and something they call Social Security. When my Aunt Fred (no the Fred is not short for anything but lets just say that she is no longer trapped in the wrong body anymore), found out that I was working at the shoe department at Wal*Mart she had to bring down two of my 34 nieces or nephews down for a pair of shoes.

The store was busy and Aunt Fred drove in circles around the parking lot waiting for a handicap spot to open up. The operation she had has left her a little scatterbrained, personally I think it is all the new silicone she has in her body. Who knew, besides breast implants, they also could add a pound or two in the caboose?

Aunt Fred always did drive like Mark Martin but my aunt didn’t need the Viagra to make her smooth moves. From what the manager told me, Aunt Fred must have been doing sixty miles an hour when the third parking spot from the front door of Wal*Mart came available. She hit the brakes and steered the car and rode the fishtail into the spot. The rear end of the car didn’t stop until it hit something solid, which just happened to be a 2004 Cadillac.

My aunt wasn’t hurt in the accident, the Crenshaw’s don’t get hurt or even mad, we get our money’s worth. She grabbed her neck with both hands and just started screaming about suing the place for the unsafe environment of the parking area. She started quoting city ordinances and state and federal laws. Once the manager heard about the accident he went out to the parking lot to see what he could do for my aunt. This is where Aunt Fred said that all she really wanted to do was see me work in the shoe department. The manager crumbled because he wanted a peaceful, and cheap, resolution to this situation. The manager offered Aunt Fred three pairs of shoes. Lucky me, I got to see some things of my aunts that I really never wanted to see… she had corns, a couple of yellow toenails, and one toe had no nail at all.

I may only sell shoes at Wal*Mart today but some day I could work my way up to cashier. I have to admit though, an honest job sure does beat what the rest of my family does for money.