chapter fourteen

(as the rest of the chapters, this isn't the final version - parenthesis marks are notes to myself)

30 March

“You have the kids already? When did they get here?”

Susie looked up at Kate shuffling in. “About two hours ago. Did we wake you?”

Not bothering to conceal a yawn, she shoved her uncombed hair out of her face and landed on the couch. “No, I didn’t sleep much last night. I kept thinking I heard the phone.”

Grabbing the baby’s formula from her bag, Susie headed to the kitchen. “There’s coffee made and a waffle on the stove. You’ll have to reheat it.”

“You made waffles at 6:00 in the morning after staying out half the night?”

“I couldn’t talk him into cereal.” She shifted the baby to her hip, holding her there with her arm so both hands were usable. “After I mix her bottle, will you watch her a minute so I can get dressed? The doorbell woke me up. I guess I forgot to set my alarm.”

“I’m surprised you found your nightgown. You were pretty out of it.”

“I wasn’t that bad.” Susie couldn’t say she hadn’t been light-headed by the end of the evening before, with the drinks bought for her that she hadn’t requested. But she had stayed in control enough to know what she was doing, even when getting up and meeting Duncan on the dance floor after their next-to-last set. He’d been amused, but didn’t turn her down for a dance, asking if she was okay as he held her. She was, though her alcohol-assisted relaxed state most likely had helped her find the nerve to just go out and claim him instead of waiting to be asked. He’d insisted on driving her home, since she couldn’t tell him Kate’s drinks had no alcohol. After his first beer, he had switched to cola, for the purpose of being able to drive her home, he’d told her. It was funny, really. Evan had nursed Budweiser all night when he was off-stage, and his buddy was staying straight. Unusual for both of them.

She shook the powdered mix into the water, returned to the living room, and handed both the baby and the bottle to Kate.

“So, if you weren’t that bad, do you remember hanging all over Duncan?” Kate grinned.

“I remember everything, including my date tonight, and you announcing to everyone that I don’t kiss on the first date. Thank you for that, by the way.” Her sarcasm was lost on her friend.

“You’re actually going? I thought it was an act.” Kate settled the baby into her arm.

“No. It was no act. I’m actually really looking forward to it.” She moved a toy out of the pathway. “And I’m hoping Sarah will be here right at noon, so I can sleep for an hour before work.”

“Seriously? You’re dating him?” Kate looked flabbergasted. “What about Evan?”

Evan. She wondered if he knew yet that it wasn’t an act. It didn’t matter if he did or not. “He’s dating Janet.”

“So turn about is fair play, right? He dates your friend, so you date his? Think it’ll make him jealous or something?”

Susie stopped cleaning. She brushed her hair behind her ear and looked at her friend. “Kate … you’re right. It’s not going to happen. And I would never use someone like that. I’m going out with Duncan … because he didn’t stop asking. Because … I really enjoy being with him.” The thought made her even more anxious for the day to pass quickly. She needed to get dressed so it would start. “I’ll be right back.”

The sight of her bed suddenly made her wish she was in it, and she debated lying down just for a few minutes. But, she would most likely fall asleep, and Kate wasn’t great with kids. So, instead, she found a comfortable old pair of sweatpants and a well-worn T-shirt, then splashed cold water over her face and ran a brush quickly through her hair, pulling it back into a ponytail.

A yawn overtook her while retrieving the baby, who was fussing more than eating. She was particular about the way she was held.
“Why didn’t you let Kevin’s mom take them today?”
Taylor quieted in her arms. Susie took the bottle from Kate. “Because I don’t get paid when she takes them.”

The phone rang almost simultaneously with a knock on the door and Susie headed to the latter, leaving her friend no choice but to answer the other. She didn’t care much for the phone, and didn’t expect it to be for her, anyway. It seldom was.

Evan appeared wide awake. “Good morning. I guess we didn’t wake you.”

She was glad she had dressed. His buddy was with him. “No, I was up.”

“I figured you were.” Evan gently pulled on Taylor’s bottle, which was locked in her few teeth, and chuckled as she pulled away from him. “She still doesn’t like me.”

“She doesn’t like men, except her dad.”
Her eyes drew to his friend, but Kate hanging up the receiver and quickly disappearing down the hall took her attention before she could think of anything to say to him. Without thinking, she handed the baby to Evan and followed Kate.

There was no answer to her soft knock, but she slowly opened the door and stepped in, pulling it shut again. Kate didn’t acknowledge her. She was sitting on the floor, leaning back against her bed, her hands pressed against her eyes.

“Kate…”

Still no answer, so she lowered herself to the floor, and waited.

“It was positive.”

Susie pressed her eyelids together for a moment and made her voice calm before speaking. “You are pregnant?”

Kate nodded, still blocking herself away from the world.

“It’ll be all right.”

She finally dropped her hands, revealing the shine of a dampness around her eyes. “No, it won’t. I was ready to try for something serious with Mike. I really don’t want to lose him. Now everything’s messed up.”

“It doesn’t have to be.”

“Yes, it does. I can’t do this to him. It was my fault. I forgot my pill. And now I’m going to lose him.”

“Kate, talk to him.”

“No. If you’ll help, I’ll take responsibility for this child, because I have to, but I won’t get him involved. He has a career. He’s trying to go somewhere, and from what the guy said last night…. I can’t get in his way.”

Should she ask what she had to know? She probably already knew. “Is the baby his?”

Her friend was quiet, making herself regain control. Susie hadn’t seen her cry since her mom had left almost ten years ago, when Kate was barely thirteen, and she seemed angry with herself for letting it happen again. “It’ll be better if you don’t know; that way you won’t have to hide anything.”

“Kate...”

“Susie, please. I just want to lie down, and you better go check on the kids before Evan comes looking for you.”

She had already pushed her away. The discussion was over … for now.

Giving Kate a motherly hug, she took a slow breath. “Okay. Just remember; I’ll be here for you.” She didn’t get a response, but hadn’t expected one, and returned to the living room where Timmy was entertaining Duncan by showing him the toys he’d brought. His sister was now standing against the couch trying to reach for them. “Timmy, why don’t you play with Taylor over here?”

“I sharing my toys.”

“That’s very nice, but why don’t you share them with your sister instead?” She lifted Taylor and set her in the open space beside the couch. “C’mon.”

“Her a baby.”

“Yes, but she likes to play, too. Come over here, or I’ll turn the cartoons off.”

Pouting, the little boy gathered his toys and sat beside the small girl, who leaned over to kiss his arm.

“Thank you, Honey. I’ll read you a story when Taylor takes her nap.” She sat on the couch next to them and finally looked over at the men. “Sorry about that.”

Duncan grinned. “He wasn’t botherin’ me.”

“Angel, is everything all right?”

Doing her best to stifle a yawn, she wished she could talk to her best friend about Kate and the promise she’d made. “It’s been a very long morning already.”

“It’s not even eight-thirty.”

She noticed Duncan watching the kids, but stayed focused on Evan. “These two came at six, and I forgot to set my alarm, so I had to answer the door in my robe. Of course, it was Kevin’s turn to drop them off.”

“I’m sure he didn’t mind.”

“No, but I did. Then he told me that Sarah’s going to quit working in a couple of months, so I’ll be out of a job. And I woke up with a headache that hasn’t gone away yet.”

“Why don’t you ask Kate to watch the kids so you can lie down?”

Kate watch the kids? He was fishing for information. “She’s not feeling very well today.” Taylor started fussing again, so she grabbed her and the bottle and cradled the baby in her lap, stealing glances at the other man. He was so … absolutely gorgeous, and he was wearing shorts. Was it that warm today? She pulled her eyes away when he looked over, and took the last swallow of her now-ice-cold coffee. Then she remembered her manners. “You can help yourself to the coffee, but it may be pretty strong by now.”

Evan scrunched his eyebrows. “Since when do you drink coffee?”

“Since I had it with pecan pie the other night.”

Duncan met her eyes. “Did I get somethin’ started?”

“This was only my third cup. It helped me wake up yesterday; I was hoping it would work again today.” He had such a cute grin.

“Have you taken anything for your head?” Evan obviously wasn’t impressed.

“Yeah, but it’s not doing much.”

“Go rest. I’ll keep an eye on the kids.”

“Thanks, and if it was just Timmy I would, but you know Taylor would throw a fit. I’ll lie down for an hour after Sarah picks them up. I have to work at two, but I’ll be home by five-thirty.” She turned back to Duncan. “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Unless you want t’ wait ‘till you’re more rested.”

So considerate. “I think I’ve asked you to wait often enough. What time?”

“Do you need more than an hour?”

“No, that’s fine.”

“Then we’ll say six-thirty.”



She laid her keys on the counter, yawning. Sarah had been late picking up the kids, so Susie had barely had time to change clothes and run out the door to make it to work on time. She couldn’t be sleepy tonight and decided to start a fresh pot of coffee before jumping in the shower. Standing under the warm water long enough for rising steam to turn the tiny private bathroom into a sauna, her nerves began to set in. Was it too late to back out? What if she said something stupid, or if he decided he wasn’t so interested after getting to know her better? Or if he thought she was something she wasn’t? After all, he had to have done a lot of dating, and she really hadn’t. Would she be too uninteresting compared to the others? Was that why Evan didn’t care about her dating him, because he knew it wouldn’t work anyway? Stop it. Evan had nothing to do with this, and he didn’t care because she was just a friend to him … well, her best friend, but nothing more.
A deep breath forced thoughts of him away from her immediate consciousness and she turned the faucet to lower the water temperature. Hot water to open and deep-clean her pores; cool water to tighten them again. She’d read it was good for her hair, as well.

Moving into her room and away from the steam to dry and dress, she chose a sunflower-scented body lotion to moisturize her arms and legs, smoothing it into her neck as a last thought, then wrapped herself in a towel to go out to the kitchen. Susie poured a cup of coffee, adding plenty of sugar and milk, turned the stereo on loud enough to hear it in the back of the apartment, and returned to her room to do her hair and her face. Deciding on a loose French braid down the middle, she dried her hair just enough that it wouldn’t look wet, then carefully applied a touch of blush to her cheeks and eyes and a soft shimmer to her lips. She was studying the outfit she had selected earlier, wondering if it was too casual, when Kate came in.

“Good timing. What do you think about this?”

Her friend grimaced. “Too stuffy for a first date.”

“I don’t know where we’re going. I don’t want to be over-dressed.”

Kate searched through the closet and pulled out a navy straight skirt in a soft polyester and matching top with a very soft floral design of slightly lighter blue. The sleeveless top buttoned at the collar in back and was open in an oval shape from there to her waist, except for thin straps holding it together in the middle with a criss-cross pattern. “I have a necklace and earrings that will be perfect with this.”

“I don’t have a jacket for it yet.”

“It doesn’t need a jacket.”

“Kate, it’s open all the way down the back. I have to find something to wear over it. Maybe a sheer…”

“Suse, you’re not fifteen anymore. Loosen up. Believe me, he’ll love it.”

Or he might think she was something she wasn’t. “Maybe I should let my hair down.”

“Don’t you dare. It’s perfect with that outfit. Get dressed, I’ll be right back.”

****

Kate pulled the jewelry from the box Mike had given her long ago. She still loved it. Mike. What was she going to do about him? She could invite him over, since Susie would be out. But she was tired, and he would wonder why. With a sigh, she returned to her friend, sincerely hoping things would work better for her. But this date tonight seemed odd. Regardless of what Susie said, she wasn’t over Evan. Kate couldn’t imagine her ever being over him after being so stuck to him for … forever. Was this guy good enough for her? A friend of Evan’s? Or was he a substitute? She didn’t bother to knock upon entering the room again. Susie was buttoning the back of the collar.

“Is it okay?”

“Okay? He’s gonna need a cold shower. Although, considering who your date is, maybe you should do something more conservative. You don’t want him to think…”

“Think what?”

“Well, he’s…. You’re sure he’s what you want to date? I mean, he seems more my type.”

“Kate, you’re the one who said I should accept!”

“But I never thought you would. Are you sure it’s…. I mean, Evan would have warned him, right? That you don’t….”

Susie’s raised chin stopped her. She was wasting her breath. Susie wouldn’t back out after accepting, not without good reason. But this guy…. The doorbell rang. At least he was prompt. “Here, I’ll get it.” Kate handed her the jewelry and went to answer the door thinking about her first date with Mike, which had also been their first time together. She hoped this guy wasn’t expecting the same. Evan would have warned him, and possibly even threatened him. He wasn’t quite as mild and gentle as Susie believed. Kate knew better. She’d heard guys talk about staying away from her friend in fear of her protector. Maybe that wasn’t a bad thing, though. Susie wasn’t exactly built for self-defense, and with her looks…. She turned down the stereo and hesitated before answering the door. Duncan hadn’t seemed bothered last night when Kate announced, for his benefit, that Susie didn’t kiss on the first date. This wasn’t going to work anyway, so it was just as well. Susie was much too prim and proper for this guy who looked like a real wild child, and it wouldn’t take him long to realize that.

He was holding a bouquet of six red roses. Looking at him, well, leering really, she could easily see what attracted Susie. His black pants and slightly blue shirt, with the top button undone, accented both his eyes and his slim, but muscular stature. He actually looked … not bad when dressed in something other than the black vest and tight jeans. Not bad. She laughed to herself. He was even turning her on, though she liked the tight jeans he wore just as well.

“Hi Kate, how are you tonight?”

She couldn’t help being flattered by the friendly tone, and the fact that he didn’t treat her like the others did, with their condescending attitudes. Maybe he would be okay for her friend.

“Damn, you look good. Why don’t you forget about her and take me out? I do kiss on the first date, and sometimes that’s not all I do. Just ask Mike.”

“He would never speak t’ me again, but thanks for the offer.”

His grin was incredibly charming. “Are you sure? I can dress fast.”

Stepping closer, he moved the flowers to the side and leaned in to talk in her ear. “As I said, Mike is a lucky man. Bu’ you would get bored with me.” He stepped back again, a glint of mischief reflecting in his eyes.

“Somehow, I find that very hard to believe. And if Susie weren’t a friend of mine, I’d be trying harder by now.” She winked slyly and backed out of the doorway. “Have a seat; I’ll get her.”

“Tell her not to rush.”

****

Susie took another deep breath and forced herself to follow Kate into the living room. She had never been so nervous about a date. She had never cared so much about the impression she made. Stopping when she saw him, her whole body tensed. He looked … like he didn’t belong with her. What was she doing? He should be dating … a model … or…. When he turned, she pushed herself to move closer. How close should she go? Where should she stop? He was waiting for her to speak. The blue eyes relaxed her, bringing memories of the night before. She found her voice. “Hi, I’m sorry I made you wait.”

He stared a moment before answering. “I’m early.” The eyes skimmed her, not as Mitch’s had, but gently. He shook his head slightly. “You look even more incredible than usual.”

She felt her cheeks grow warm as she grinned self-consciously. “Thank you. You look nice, too. I ... wasn’t real sure what to wear. Is this okay?”

“It’s perfect.” He leaned down to reach something on the couch and walked toward her with a large bouquet of deep scarlet roses and baby’s breath. “These are for you.”

She was speechless again, hoping he couldn’t see her hands shaking as she accepted the elaborate gift. “Duncan … they’re beautiful.” Breathing in their fresh aroma gave her a few stolen seconds to try to calm her nerves. “Thank you, but you really didn’t have to…”

“You’re welcome.”

His eyes were focused on hers, searching … for what? Kate offered to put the flowers in a vase and took the bouquet from her hands.

“Are you ready to go?”

She nodded, still having trouble finding words. He helped her with her coat and opened not only the apartment door and the front door, but also held the car door and closed it behind her. He’d borrowed his buddy’s car again and the idea seemed kind of funny to her. She was finally going on a real date, in Evan’s car, but not with Evan. She wondered what he was doing tonight, and what he was thinking.

Duncan didn’t talk and neither did she. Was he nervous, too? But, why would he be? This couldn’t be that big a deal for him. Silence prevailed until he pulled into the parking lot of one of her favorite restaurants. “You do like Italian?”

“Yes.” She waited for him to come around, using the time to breathe, then held his arm as if it were an every day occurrence for them to be so intimate. The host led them to a small table in the back of the room, which had a candle already lit and a single deep scarlet rose in a crystal vase. Duncan helped her with her chair, then sat across from her and ordered two glasses of white zinfandel.

Susie wondered if she should warn him about her age, but the waiter didn’t even seem to think about it, so she decided it would be best not to say anything. She was sure he knew anyway, since he’d obviously been asking Evan about her. How else would he know her favorite restaurant and favorite wine?

“So do you always give a girl roses on the first date?”

He seemed surprised at the question, or maybe at her actually talking to him. “I have never given anyone roses before.”

She just looked at him, unsure how to respond.

“By the way, this one is yours, too, and the vase.”

“Duncan….” Overwhelmed, she hoped she didn’t look like an idiot while trying to make herself keep talking. “You shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble.”

“It was no trouble.”

Luckily, the waiter came to pull his eyes off of her. And he must have known how unsettled she was, because after they ordered, he turned the conversation to something more casual. “Your dad seems to be gone a lot. What exactly does he do on business trips?”

Her dad. She could do that. “He’s a computer consultant. He’s always been fascinated with machines, and, as soon as he heard about them, he had to get in on it. He keeps insisting they’ll be very popular eventually, though I’ve never been into technological stuff and I don’t understand half of what he says.”

“As long as he understands it, right? So, it wasn’t a problem for him to change jobs to move up here with you when you followed Evan?”

“It’s the same company. He just worked himself up the ladder and asked to have his home branch changed. He’d been traveling up here fairly often, anyway. That’s how Evan found the job at the gym.”

“How’s that?”

“There wasn’t anything in Glenn Heights. If he’d stayed, he would have had to drive forty miles into the city every day, like Dad used to. So when he found the ad in a paper Dad had brought back with him, he sent a resume.”

“He chose an expensive private college so he wouldn’t be far from you. Why would he send a job application to another state?”

Susie furrowed her eyebrows. “He chose that college because it’s one of the best business schools in the country.”

“That’s no’ what he told me.”

Okay, now she was really confused. “You must have misunderstood him.”

“I do no’ think so. He was very straight-forward about it. In fact, he talked about you a lot, but I think I missed where he said you are nearly his age. I was thinking, from what he said, that you were quite a bi’ younger than y’ are.”

Quite a bit younger? Was that the problem? He thought she was too young for him? It didn’t make sense, though, since he and Duncan were only a year apart. And why would he say he chose Thiel to be close to her? She had to change the subject. She couldn’t even respond to that. “Well, I heard a lot about you, too. I kept telling him he should invite you home with him when he came.”

“He did.”

“Why didn’t you come?”

“I had t’ play every weekend. And I didn’t want to impose, bu’ now I wish I had.”
She couldn’t help grinning, and again changed the subject. “How many bands have you been in?”

He shrugged. “I never really kept count. Eight or ten, I guess. Most every kind of music you can think of.”

“Which do you like best?”

“Actually, the original rock and roll; Buddy Holly, Chuck Berry, and I like some of the stuff going on now. Clapton is incredible, of course, and Chicago, and Zeppelin….”

“You know, you sound like a born American.”

His eyes sparkled. “I think America fits me pretty well.”

She was relieved he had understood it as a compliment. “I’m glad you finally accepted Evan’s invitation.” She hadn’t meant to say that out loud, and his grin faded into … surprise, maybe? No, it wasn’t quite that. As she was trying to figure out what it was, the waiter came with their wine.

Over dinner, they discussed music and dance and talked about some of the places he had been. She was impressed with how much he had seen and done. Finally, the plates were cleared away.
She didn’t want to give up on the discussion. “You know, I would love to have the nerve to just get up and go whenever I felt like it.”

“Do you like t’ travel?”

“I’ve never really done it, unless you count back and forth to see Evan’s mom. Or going out to the beach. But I would love to drive up and see Maine some day, and Chicago sounds exciting.”

“Maybe we’ll go sometime.”

She chuckled. “To Maine, or Chicago?”

“Either, or both.”

Was this guy for real? He wouldn’t honestly offer to take her on that kind of a trip? Did he have the impression she was the type who would accept a weekend trip with someone she barely knew? Or was that a hint that he was planning on staying around? {add description}

She noticed a girl at another table watching him as they got up to leave, and Susie possessively moved closer when she took his arm this time. Maybe she wouldn’t be able to hold onto him for very long, but he was with her tonight.
He again opened and closed her car door, then went around to sit beside her.

The temperature had fallen with the sun. She shivered. He glanced over, started the engine, and turned the heater to high.
“Oh, don’t make it too hot for you. I just get cold easily.” He didn’t answer, other than meeting her eyes, but didn’t turn it down again, either. She reached out to touch his arm. He hadn’t worn a jacket and the heat emanating from his skin penetrated her fingers even through the thin shirt sleeve. “Thank you for dinner. It was very nice.”

He studied her face. “Are you up to one more stop?”

“Sure.”

“Good. I didn’t want t’ take you home yet.” He shifted the car into drive and prevented her from pulling her hand away by grasping it, lightly, asking silently if it was okay. She locked her fingers around his, reveling in the warmth.

After a short drive, during which she turned the heater down, he pulled into a hotel parking lot, answering her question before she could ask. “The lounge is supposed t’ have a nice dance floor, if you’re interested.”

She replied with a grin and a nod, glad the coffee seemed to be working. Or maybe it was adrenaline. Watching every move as he walked around the car, she couldn’t deny that part of her attraction to him was physical; but there was more. Maybe it was the mystery that surrounded him, or the way he always treated her like a lady, or the way he looked into her eyes, or the kindness she saw in his. She also respected the way he stood up to Roy and didn’t seem afraid of anyone. She knew Kate thought he was too wild for her, but she liked that part of him as well. The other guys were comfortable to be around, like family. Duncan was exciting and different. And he wasn’t afraid to show his interest in her.

Pulling the door handle, not seeing a reason to let him keep waiting on her, Susie barely had it nudged when he was there, pulling it open. She accepted his hand while stepping out of the Mercury, though it was unnecessary, and he dropped the formality of offering his arm, keeping hold of her hand instead. They got a few looks walking into the building and whenever she noticed, she pulled closer to him. It made no difference to her why they were staring. He wanted her there with him, and that was all she needed to know.

Finding a table in a corner, Duncan offered another glass of wine, but she went back to her usual ginger ale. Wine made her tired, and she wanted her head clear. The lounge was relatively empty, compared to the club the night before, but then, the band playing wasn’t nearly as good. She’d never heard of them. They were also quieter, which made it easier to talk. He pulled his chair closer anyway. Leaning his arms atop the table, grasping his gin and tonic with both hands, Duncan appeared completely comfortable – more at ease than she remembered seeing him since he’d arrived. Even on stage, he was always watching, for what, she was never sure. He watched the band a bit, kept an eye on their surroundings, and occasionally leaned in to say something to her. The silence between them didn’t bother her. She enjoyed just sitting beside him, studying his actions, his facial expressions. He wasn’t impressed with the band, either. By habit, she had her fingers wrapped around her glass. Another habit made her play with her straw; nervous habit, she supposed.

It caught his eye. Releasing his drink, he took hold of her fingers, studying the one ring she wore, on the smallest finger of her right hand. “It looks Celtic.”

Celtic? She hadn’t thought about it. “It was Mom’s. She asked me to hold it for her when she was expecting my sister and her fingers started swelling. Dad had to wrap string around the back of it so it would fit on my biggest finger and I wore it that way for the longest time until I grew into it. I still have a callous where it rubbed my finger.” Susie stopped. He hadn’t asked that much. Why was she telling him?

Using both hands, he turned hers over and rubbed his thumb over the callous. Then he looked at her again. “You have a sister?”

She touched his eyes. “Didn’t you say Evan talked about me?”

“Yeah, bu’ it seems he left out a lot of detail.”

Detail? That was one of the most major events in her life. What else, really, could Evan have said about her? Nothing personal, apparently. But he also hadn’t told him about his brother being deaf. Maybe Susie assumed they were closer friends than they actually were.

“Susie, you said y’ were the only family your dad has.”

She nodded. “I had a sister, for a short time. She didn’t make it past a few hours. I barely got to see her.” Her eyes fell to his hands. They were both still holding hers, but only one of hers. The other clutched her glass, more to keep it from shaking than any other reason she could think of. She never used her left hand to pick up her glass.

“Was it an illness?”

She pressed her fingers tighter around the perspiring drink. It was still incredibly hard to discuss, though she hadn’t had to very often. Most people avoided the issue. But Duncan wasn’t. He wanted to know. “Not exactly.” She still didn’t look at him. “She wasn’t supposed to have another child. Really, she shouldn’t have tried to have me. She didn’t even…. They had to do a C-section to try to save the baby. It was too early, though. They didn’t have…. I think now they’ve learned better how to take care of preemies, but….” She stopped. She couldn’t…

“Dance with me.” He stood, waiting to pull out her chair.

Susie was grateful for the interruption, avoiding eye contact with anyone, not sure her emotion wouldn’t show. He held her close without speaking. Concentrating on the music, on his hand on her back warming the bare skin … the bare skin. She hadn’t thought about dancing while letting Kate talk her into the backless blouse. He didn’t seem to think anything of it, but to her…. His fingers adjusted, slipping underneath the cross-ties. Shivers crawled over her skin. He leaned his head closer. Her conscience told her to object. Abruptly, she pushed it away, sliding her hand from his arm to behind his shoulder. With barely enough space for an LP to fit between their bodies, they refused to part when the song ended. One of the band members made a comment. She ignored it, dropping her face into his shoulder. Duncan looked their way and another guy on stage asked for a song suggestion.

“Something by Chicago.”

She raised her face to see him, amused that he would answer from this distance. He released her hand, bringing his fingers to her face, just for a moment before wrapping it around her back, pulling her in. The band took his suggestion, beginning one of Chicago’s biggest hits from the year before. The guy on stage wasn’t one of the best lead singers she’d ever heard, but nice choice of songs.

“Just you ‘n me … simple and free…”

He was singing to her, in her ear.

“Baby you’re everything I’ve ever dreamed of…”

Closing her eyes, she pushed her face in against the bare skin above his collar, nudging the material out of her way.

The next song was faster, but they stayed on the floor, forcing enough distance to be able to move. They danced well together, as if they had been partners for years. She was impressed by the way he moved, again, by his natural grace. And by the way he matched whatever she did. He liked to dance; she enjoyed the realization. Three songs later, they decided to take a break. His arm went naturally around her shoulder, not on the back of her chair.
Susie took a swallow of the half-warm ginger ale and noticed him staring. “What?”

“Your mum must ‘ave had light skin and blue eyes.”

She set her glass down. “Yes, and wavy, blonde hair. I didn’t get any of that, though. She also had the most beautiful voice you’ve ever heard.” And why did she just tell him that?

“Oh? Did she sing much?”

“Only in front of Dad and me. Her favorite gift was a beat up record player Dad had to save for. He could only afford two or three records, I forget exactly, but one had church hymns and one had Irish songs.”

“Do you sing?”

“Not in front of others, if I can help it.”

He chuckled softly. “I prefer the guitar t’ singing, too.”

“Are you kidding? I love your voice.” The words came out before she could stop them, and she felt slightly embarrassed as he grinned.

“I am flattered. And I love t’ watch you dance. How long have you been dancin’?”

“Since before I could walk, Dad says.” She sipped her drink again. “I started lessons when I was four.”

“I am surprised y’ are not professional. You could be. I mean, in a company, no’ that teaching is no’ professional.”

“Now I’m flattered, but I’m … not the right type, or build.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Why are you no’? I ‘ave seen ballerinas who are no’ very tall.”

Susie hesitated. Did she give him the usual line about wanting to stay with her friends, or tell him the whole truth? Being only 5’2” hadn’t been her biggest obstacle, neither had having a larger bra size than most prima ballerinas. Evan apparently hadn’t told him about her racial struggle, either.

Duncan gave her a moment, taking a swallow of his drink. Then he waited.

“Have you seen any Indian ballerinas?”

He shrugged. “I ‘ave not seen many ballerinas of any kind. But with your light skin, how would they know, anyway?”

“They ask.”

“You tried?”

She nodded. “I did a couple of auditions. They said I was the wrong look. Another place wouldn’t even let me audition. I was lucky to get a teaching job, and that was only with Evan’s help. But, you know, it would have been … I didn’t plan to do it long term, anyway.”

“Why no’?”

“Because you can’t do anything else if you do that. I want … to do other things with my life.”

“And y’ can still dance, too.” He grinned, offering his hand.

The formalities were gone. On the dance floor again, she wrapped her arms over his shoulders, letting her fingers brush against his hair. She enjoyed the fit.

He sang to her, and she held him tighter, finally resting her head on his shoulder and closing her eyes.

“Are y’ tired? We can go when you want.”

Susie raised her head. She didn’t want to go. She wanted to stay right here, ignoring the rest of the world and whatever was going to happen the next day, and just hold onto him. Shaking her head, her eyes locked onto his, and she gathered the nerve to run her fingers through his hair. He narrowed the distance, bringing his face closer, waiting, asking, but not pushing. She met his lips.



They walked slowly up the stairs of their building. Everything was quiet, except for the old wood planks squeaking underneath their feet. Reaching the top, she could see light filtering out from Evan’s apartment, wondering if he was waiting up, watching the time. Pulling her keys from her small shoulder bag, she unlocked her door. Complete darkness greeted her and Duncan stopped her to walk in ahead, switching on the small entryway light. She followed him, closing the door.

“Would you like something to drink? Coffee, or…” She set the vase with its single rose on the entry table and hung her bag and jacket on the coat rack.

“Y’ know it’s almost one.” He was standing close. She felt his warmth.

“Is it? I’m glad I don’t have to work tomorrow.”

“You are tired, though. I should go.”

She didn’t argue, though part of her wanted to. “Thank you for asking me … more than once. I had a wonderful time.”

He took her hands. “Then maybe we can do i’ again.”

“I’d love to.”

He was waiting, holding her fingers lightly. She moved in against him and pressed her lips against his, hoping he couldn’t hear her pounding heartbeat. The kiss was longer, more intense than the first. She had to remind herself to start breathing again.

“I guess Kate does no’ know you quite as well as she thought.”

“Yes, she does. I just made an exception.”

“Why?”

“I’m not sure, but I think I should have said ‘yes’ the first time you asked.”

With a slight lift of his chin, he released her hands to move his arms around her waist. “Maybe we’ll have t’ make up for lost time.” He leaned into her as she brought her hands to the back of his shoulders and held him close. Never before had a kiss felt like this, like she was the only thing on earth that mattered to him, at least for the moment.

She clung to him, not willing to let go, her head against his shoulder.

“I think I am very highly in debt to Ev for askin’ me here.” His voice was barely above a whisper, fingertips caressing the bare skin on her back.

“So am I.”

Planting a kiss on the side of her face, he backed away. “I really should go. Can I see y’ tomorrow?”

“Yes, but I don’t intend to be up too early.”

“How about if I stop by before rehearsal a’ one?”

“Okay.”

He brushed his fingers lightly over her cheek before opening the door. “Good night, Susie. Sleep well.”