drowning

drowning
I want to disrupt you, me, written, spoken. Tear all parts till what’s left is all I want it to be. Not just swimming to swim. I can’t just swim against the current. Rage against the current, not just swim against it, but fucking splash every drop of water out. Rage against the whole fucking thing. Black and blue, mud and blood and guts, scratch and tearing, fuck me fucking you, it’s all relative in every word that I type in black and write in blue. Am I a threat to you? Good, I want to threaten you. Fear me you sonofabitch. Keep your eyes down while walking by. Grab your purse or slant your eyes and look down at me. Whisper, whisper, whisper like I can’t hear you. Fuck you. Your whispers wash over me like a flood of piss and vinegar. Stagnant with ignorance, hate and bigotry. Hate me you dumb fuck, because I hate you. Know that I hate you the exact same way. I have to fear you. I HAVE to FEAR YOU. Can you hear me? You sorry sonofabitch. I fear for my life and my kind every day. I fear every day, walking, eyes down past you, you and your whispers. You and your fucking whispers, trying to run me back into a box, back into a place where I am neither seen or heard. You can’t drown me you sonofabitch. I’m already dead. I died in there, found my rage in there, found love and lost it, but I will never go back. So fuck you if you don’t think I should be able to walk down the street with peace in my heart. Peace in my heart. Peace. You ignorant thing. You hate filled closed-minded thing, you don’t make me mad, and you don’t anger me. I am not mad, my hatred is not anger it is RAGE. So peace, fuck peace. There will be no peace. No. No I walk with rage and will for my life. I walk with fucking rage inside me. I drown in it And I will rage against and for every drop of water that should spill out and over me. I will drown in my rage if I have to. I will drown to swim.