MadMan on Television

         Television. Now there's a classic example of something that could have been great, but totally went to shit instead (much like MTV and mothers-in-law). I remember when soap operas were the worst thing on TV (besides Oprah and the News, of course). Little did I know what the future had in store... .

         I'm not saying that everything on TV these days is bad. As a matter of fact, I'm quite fond of several shows, like The Simpsons, Southpark, Scrubs, That 70's Show, Insomniac with Dave Attel, Saturday Night Live, and things of that nature. I'm pissed off that my old favorites like Home Improvement, The Drew Carey Show, Win Ben Steins Money, and Married with Children were replaced with mindless bullshit called "Reality TV."

         I was a big fan of Survivor. I even applied to be on the second one (unsuccessfully). However, it should have ended right there. Instead, it became a competition to see who could come up with the stupidest ideas, and it is still going. Now there is nothing worth watching in the evenings. I mean, seriously, do people really watch any of the crap they are coming out with? Twenty different versions of "Which greedy bitch will this moron marry after knowing them for two weeks" (and we all know THAT love is sincere, we just buy right into that shit) and ten different versions of "A bunch of idiots forced to live together" (yeah, that one NEVER gets old!) and fifteen different versions of "Stupid people eating nasty shit for money" (I can't get enough of that either, it's always fresh and exciting) and the list goes on. The new ones coming out are possibly the worst yet! Come on, trading moms between a black family and a white family? Kids picking out a new wife for their rich dad? Make-overs for fat ugly people? Rich snotty bitches playing on a farm? GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK! That mindless bullshit isn't worth two seconds of my time. I'd rather get kicked in the balls every day at five pm than sit through any of those "shows." No one watches them, everyone knows that the only reason they are on is because they're so cheap to produce, and yet advertisers still fund them. Amazing.

         As if reality shows weren't bad enough, we still have to deal with daytime talk shows, too. Now there is the downfall of society. Oprah started the whole thing, and with reasonably decent intentions. That too went horribly wrong, as could be expected. Now there's twenty-five cloned versions of The Jerry Springer Show. There's another gig that got worn out on the second episode. How anyone can sit through the exact same moronic crap everday, (and even look forward to it!) knowing that it will be the exact same thing they watched yesterday on fifty different shows, is beyond me. Stupid, extremely loud and irritating people accusing each other of sleeping with their father/mother/brother/sister/friend/neighbor, women accusing men of knocking them up (and the men denying it, of course), people throwing chairs and cussing each other out, underage sexually active kids on drugs, it is always the same. And those people who get invited to be on a talk show without knowing why (or under the guise of meeting a long lost friend, which hasn't actually happened since 1984) and actually go have got to be the stupidest people alive. Perhaps I'm just smarter than the average bear, but I can't fathom the idea of actually liking that monotonous crap. And the thing that kills me above all is on Springer when the stupidest people in America get into a fight (and we never see that coming!) the 2nd stupidest people in America (the audience) start chanting "Jer-ry, Jer-ry, Jer-ry" like he's up there duking it out for the title or something. I mean, really, what the fuck are you chanting "Jer-ry" for? He's standing out in the audience not saying a damn thing! If aliens are using daytime TV to determine our level of intelligence as a race, we are all totally fucked.

         Another facet of TV that I find deplorable is the Judge/Court show department. Who came up with that one? Did some guy have the mistaken impression that people go down to the courthouse every day to watch petty squabbles over a $20 loan, just for entertainment? The last time I went to court, the only people there were those involved in the hearing. Not one spectator. So, how did it come about that there are ten of these boring shows on the tube now? And the people that apply to be on these shows... especially the ones in the wrong. You know that Judge Judy/Hatchet/Brown/Whoever is going to make a complete ass out of you on national TV. Even though no one with an IQ over 35 (except law students, perhaps) is watching, it's the principle of the whole thing. You might as well accept that invitation to meet your childhood friend on Sally. Jackass!

         I'm really disappointed with television. If these shows are any indication of our society, (and I'm still debating on that one) then I think we are in serious trouble. If people in general are that stupid... shit, I can't even finish that thought! Being smart doesn't make you a bad person, it just makes you hate humanity such as it is presented. Snap out of this stupor, America! At least watch something that is funny (like Everybody Loves Raymond) or educational (like Jeopardy). At the rate we are going, we WILL end up like the poor bastards feeding the computer in The Matrix. And who wants that to happen?