chapter twenty-one

FANFARE (part 2)

5 May 1974

Evan accepted keys to three double rooms. Three doubles? He looked at Roy. “There was supposed to be a single.”

A shrug brushed him off. “That’s what there is. Make do.”

Staring at the manager’s back, Evan fumed silently. Susie would have to share with one of them.

“What’s up?” Mike bumped against his shoulder.

Explaining, he turned enough to see her, holding Duncan’s arm, standing in the hotel lobby, if it could rightly be called that, surrounded by local roadies and bags and equipment. She would have to choose her roommate. At least they weren’t known enough to have drawn a crowd to their hotel, even if their dwellings had been leaked. It wouldn’t be publicized that she was staying with … Duncan? Would she?

Mike grabbed two sets of keys. Their scratched gold letters stating the room numbers boldly emblazed against the black plastic key chains made them quite easy enough to match, even crumpled together in Evan’s hand. “C’mon.” Joining the others, their lead handed one set to Doug and joked that Roy had unofficially made Susie a band member, since she was apparently sharing a room with one of them.

Doug quieted Stu’s seductive offer by pushing one of the keys into his hand. Evan waited. Susie grinned at Stu but stayed quiet. It wasn’t fair to ask her. Although she had been plastered to Duncan’s side since they had left this morning, Susie wasn’t the type to stay in a hotel room with a guy she’d only been dating a few weeks. But she also wouldn’t want to insult him by refusing in front of the others. Evan debated offering her a key to his room, providing an escape, if she wanted it.
Fighting with the wisdom of looking like he was trying to interfere, he stayed quiet, as well. Stu tried again. Duncan looked over at him, assured him it wasn’t going to happen, then reached out to accept the second key to Mike’s room. Susie’s expression was hard to read. But she didn’t argue.

“I can bunk with them.” Evan watched her eyes. “They should have a cot or something here. Or I’ll ask for another room.”

She followed Duncan’s gesture to move further out of the hotel’s main path, further from the guys with scruffy hair and shirts with ripped-off sleeves hauling equipment to the freight elevator. His buddy had seen them looking at her, also. Susie didn’t appear to notice. “Evan, we lived together for ten years. It’s no big deal.” Her eyes sparkled. She was in a wonderful mood.

“Hey! When I said that, you got pissed at me!” Stu grabbed the key from Mike’s hand, replacing it with his own. “I always room with Doug; time for a change. Duncan and I are gonna stay out late tonight and cruise chicks, make a few new fans. Ya know, promote ourselves.”

His forced roommate raised an eyebrow. “Are we?”

“Hell, yeah, we have the party room. We’ll stock the tub with beer, invite the best-looking girls…”

Terrell, the tour manager Mitch hired, interrupted. “That’s great, but how about doing the show first? We’ve got a sound check in a few so let’s get this stuff to the right rooms. And we’ve gotta be out of here by seven in the A.M. so remember you have to be alive by then.” He started to turn, then paused. “For the record, a hangover on a bus is not a great way to spend the day. Your call, just be ready to roll.”



Evan asked her again, scanning the two double beds, if she was sure he shouldn’t ask about another room close by. Roy had fulfilled his word about keeping expenses down. There was barely space to walk between the beds and dresser; Stu would have to be stingy about how many girls he invited to his party. And he better hope they wouldn’t be expecting royalty treatment. The dingy bedspreads and matted carpet weren’t exactly inviting. Evan hoped himself that they were actually clean. He dropped his folding suitcase on top of the bed closest to the door, then looked up to wait for her answer.

Susie assured him it was fine and grabbed a brush from one of her bags that she had set on top of the dresser. Pulling the elastic from her hair, she didn’t seem at all bothered by the cramped quarters or beds that were close enough to reach one while lying in the other.

Evan set her bag that he’d taken from Duncan on the floor as out of the way as was possible. She had tried to claim it herself, but was already laden with two others. He would have insisted on carrying those, as well, if he’d had the extra arms to do so. He couldn’t help being concerned about how the travelling would affect her. Even their Pennsylvania trips made her tired. She always tried to hide it from him, but it never worked. He knew. Pulling clothes from his own bag, he asked if she wanted to use the bathroom before he got cleaned up. And he tried not to watch her brush her hair.

Running through the shower messed with his nerves. She was right there, on the other side of the wall. And maybe she wasn’t bothered, but he was. Or maybe he was using it as an excuse – a replacement for the uneasiness he felt about going out on stage; a real stage with more than a small crowd of local club hoppers. It felt unreal and the others didn’t appear at all affected. No one had talked about nerves or about the dread of messing up, but both were consistently in his thoughts. He began feeling slightly ill.

Pushing the faucet off again, he dried quickly, pulling his pants over skin that was still tacky from the shower … or he was sweating. It was stuffy in the room. He’d forgotten to grab a shirt, never bothering at home. His razor was still sitting in a bag on the bed, also. Rubbing his chest with the small over-bleached towel, Evan wrapped it around his neck, allowing it to fall down in front of his chest. Not very far. It was barely large enough to dry him as roughly as he had. But what did it matter? They had been to the beach together recently. It was no different.

Her eyes looking over changed his mind. It was different. They were in a tiny hotel room together. She pulled them away again. He zipped open the hanging bag with his stage shirts and grabbed the first one he found, pulling the towel away and replacing it without wasting time.

“I’m gonna run through real quick, too.” She wrapped her hair on top of her head, fastening it without effort. “I’ll hurry. I know you’ll want to shave.”

He didn’t speak. The ill feeling engulfed his brain.

She was in and out as quickly as he had been, coming out more dressed and stunning in her baby blue peasant blouse, short jeans skirt, and bare feet. “Is this okay? You know I had no idea what to pack.” She pulled her hair down again, letting it fall over her shoulders. “Evan? Is everything all right?”

He had no idea how to answer, not willing to admit to her that nerves were setting in or that sharing a room was … making his usual control nearly impossible.

And he didn’t have to.

“You’re going to do great, you know.” Susie moved closer, raised her hands to behind his neck, straightened the back of his collar. “Relax. This is what you were meant to do.”

“Is it?”

She grinned. “I thought you might be nervous by now.” Her hands lowered to grasp his. “And I’m glad we have this time, without the others around, because … I want to be sure you know just how proud I am. How happy I am for you, that you finally got here, and how much I know you are truly going to be incredible out there … on a real stage, in front of a real audience. This is where you belong. I’ve always known that. And I’m glad to be here with you to see it.”

Evan stared into her eyes. The delicate scent of roses mixed with her own; she’d brought his favorite of her perfumes. The illness dissolved. “I had to have you here to be able to do it.” Not something he would admit to just anyone. Maybe he shouldn’t have admitted it to her. He kept her gaze while her expression changed, softened, thoughtful. He wanted to lower his lips, to touch hers. For a moment, he wasn’t sure she’d refuse. A knock interrupted. She pulled back, began heading to the door.

“I’ll get it.” He touched her arm while passing beside her, not bothering to use the peephole. Duncan. Too appropriate.

“Ready?”

“Yeah, in just a sec. I have to shave.” He backed away, pulling the door. “C’mon in.”

****

She sat in the auditorium with Terrell, Carol the publicist, and Roy, though he kept his distance. They were having some trouble with their sound check, which Terrell assured them was normal the first time out. It was a whole new ball game playing in an auditorium seating somewhere over a thousand as compared to the little clubs back home. She was nervous for them, though Evan had calmed down. Stu was more hyper than usual, his way of showing nerves; Mike more irritable; Doug had said even less than usual. Duncan … didn’t seem to care about the larger crowd or larger venue. He threw suggestions at their sound man and jokes at Mike. Both appeared to help get them on track.

The sound was coming together, with Terrell checking his watch and warning about limited time and Roy beginning to pace, shaking his head. Susie wished she had the nerve to tell the manager to just get out and quit making them more self-conscious. They didn’t need that kind of negativity. A loud voice from behind startled her.

“So quit playing around up there and play something. We wanna hear what you can do.”

Susie looked back. Blue River.
Already. Had they taken that long? Greg, the lead, bounded closer to the stage, with their guitarist shouting behind him to leave them alone. It was her turn for butterflies. But maybe they wouldn’t bother noticing the small audience.

“You’re Raucous, right? We were told you have some promise, so lets hear it.”

She watched her band look at Blue River’s lead, deciding how to react to him. Terrell stepped out into the aisle, apologizing for being in the way, explaining that they were having some problems adjusting to the larger stage but would get off and wait until Blue River was done to try again.

“Nah, go ahead. It’s not like we gave you much notice to get ready for this. We came in early to give it a listen.” The rest of Greg’s band had caught up, nodding in agreement or staying silent. They were accompanied by two women, one with a young child. And a few others, one of whom Susie expected was their manager, though they were all about the age of the band.

Greg plopped onto a chair in the front, his guitarist moving into the row behind him and the others scattering close behind but not so much in Raucous’ face. Mike looked back at Evan. Doug started a drum beat; the song that would begin their show.

Their confidence was shaky; the sound still causing some trouble. Susie gritted her teeth and tried to push positive thoughts their way. They could do this. She knew they could. A couple of the men with Blue River walked back to the sound board. Their bass player went up to the stage, looking at the amps. He halted the band, talked to them too quietly for Susie to hear, played with their equipment more, then motioned for Doug to start again. Then he returned to sit beside Greg, talking into his ear. The singer nodded. Susie would love to have eavesdropped on the conversation.

But her band picked up speed, relaxing with the better balance. It was unbelievable to hear them fill the emptiness of the large building, to play in front of a band she had admired for the last few years, a band doing sell-out shows. She hadn’t heard if tonight’s show was sold out. It wouldn’t matter to them either way. Blue River had already proven that they wouldn’t be overly critical or competitive, something she’d heard Evan and Mike discussing on the bus. Susie had hoped they wouldn’t be, also. Not only for her band’s sake, but because it would have lowered her opinion of the guys they would be touring with for the next two weeks.

They moved on to the next song, another Raucous original. They had decided to do only four covers, just enough to keep the audience from having to listen to an hour and a half of music they had never heard; actually, an hour and fifteen minutes, leaving time for an intermission before Blue River took over. Just enough time for the roadies to switch equipment. Susie wondered if she and Raucous would be allowed to watch Blue River’s set, also. A lot of details had been left undefined.

She saw Roy talking with one of the band’s entourage. Their manager, no doubt. Maybe he could learn something about running a band from the younger guy with such a great management record. Jack Jordan, a big name in the industry. Blue River wasn’t his first. Susie had read in the information they’d received that he had left his second group, another one still doing well on the charts, to take up this struggling night club band, catapulting them with brilliant PR moves. She hoped Roy would be bright enough to know what to ask him about public relations.

Her attention was pulled by movement from the little girl in the next aisle and Susie smiled at her. The child ducked her head into her mother’s shoulder, causing the woman to look around. She was young, also, not much older than herself, if Susie was judging well. Smiling highlighted her friendly eyes, dark brown and shaped much like Nathan’s. Susie decided not to hold that against her. The child distracted the woman and she turned back.

Greg jumped up again when the song ended. “Promise, my ass! You’re gonna be headlining over us one of these days!”

Susie grinned. This guy was going to be one of her favorite people. Raucous looked at each other, still trying to figure him out. She caught Evan’s eyes, raising her hands in the silent gesture of “I told you so.” His directed smile got the other band’s attention and Greg and the lead guitarist both looked back in her direction. She glanced at them then looked away. So much for staying in the background.

Releasing the stage, Raucous met Blue River on the floor, exchanging greetings. Susie stayed still, although their publicist and tour manager both joined the group. She saw Duncan’s questioning glance before he was pulled back into the conversation and noticed Greg look over a couple of times, but held her distance. Until the woman with the child walked over and sat next to her.

“Hi, I’m Lisa Diaz, Tony’s wife. He’s the drummer. And this is Antonia.” The child ducked her head again and the other woman came up close beside them, remaining on her feet.

Susie gave her name and tried to talk to the little girl, getting only a quick glance in reply. Lisa introduced her to Courtney, Paul the bassist/keyboardist’s new bride. It was her first tour, also.

“And you’re with the bass player, too, right?”

With the bass player? She meant Evan. Tricky question. “I’m….” She looked up at Greg’s interruption.

“Lisa, don’t keep her to yourself. Bring her over here so we can all meet her.”

Susie stared at him, trying to resist while Lisa teased him about not scaring her.

“You might as well give in. He’s obnoxious if he doesn’t get his way.” Lisa grabbed her hand while holding her child in the other. “But don’t worry; he’s harmless, mostly.”

Following Lisa, as if she had a choice with the other woman’s hand pulling hers, she fought nerves heading into the midst of the group, being introduced as though she’d been friends with the woman forever, hearing names of the band she already knew.

Greg sidled up next to her, opposite side of Lisa, grasping her left hand to study her fingers. “No ring. That’s a good thing. You’re not really with any of these guys, then?”

She couldn’t speak, looking away from his eyes – the dark green eyes that peered relentlessly at her from the LPs she had. He was taller than she had guessed from the photos, or maybe wearing elevator shoes; she wouldn’t dare look at the moment. He was also skinnier than she had noticed, with prominent cheek bones underneath the shaggy hair cut, longer than Evan’s but much shorter than Duncan’s. It was more attractive in person than in the pictures. And the idea that Blue River’s lead singer even noticed she was present was too much to comprehend; that he seemed to be hitting on her was…

“Yeah, she’s with all of us.”

Susie looked over at Mike, heat rising in her cheeks from the strangers’ stares.

“As our advisor.” He corrected the unsaid assumptions she felt. “She keeps us in line and tells us when we’re doing it wrong.”

Greg caressed her fingers, blatantly. “Sounds like a wife. But not married, which is cool with me.” Pulling her hand closer, he kissed her fingers, holding them against his lips for too long.

Her cheeks again grew warmer as she waited for assistance, a rescue. Hearing Stu joke with Duncan about having competition wasn’t exactly what she expected, but it worked. Their guitarist, Steve, moved up to Greg, as much between the two of them as he could get. “Back off, Romeo; she’s already taken, and we can’t afford to lose another opening band.”

“Hey, Man, if there’s no ring, she’s still fair game, right? I’m always up for a little competition.”

“Greg, leave her alone.” Lisa stepped in front of Susie to push his hand away. “Ignore him. He hits on every pretty face, but I have first dibs on him if he ever gets serious.” She threw Greg a wink.

Susie used the distraction to find Duncan’s face in the crowd. He wasn’t far, and wasn’t concerned, but he was watching.

Management took over and pushed the other band on stage to do their sound check. Lisa insisted that Susie sit with her. Again finding Duncan’s eyes, she accepted his grin as his way of saying it was fine, and gave in to her while the guys sat on the other side of the aisle. She wondered if the Blue River wives always kept such distance from the band.

Before sitting, she looked up to the stage. Greg wasn’t wearing elevator shoes. His toes stuck out from brown sandles she could barely see beneath his bell-bottoms. The burnt orange shirt hanging over top of his jeans was wrinkled, but worked well with his yellow-tan complexion and light brown hair. She supposed he wouldn’t go on stage that way – in a wrinkled shirt.

She used the time they spent tuning and going over their set-up to try to become acquainted with Antonia. Susie found she had guessed her age fairly well. Nearly two years old, Tonia, as her mother called her, had dark brown hair that fell in ringlets around her face and the same dark eyes as Lisa, with astonishingly long lashes. But she was a shy child. Lisa said she didn’t ever go to strangers, which made travelling a trial at times. They brought one of Tony’s cousins along on tour to be her nanny, one of the few family members with whom the child was comfortable. Paul’s wife didn’t bother to join the conversation.

Susie was caught between trying to be friendly and wanting to watch Blue River. She didn’t admit she was a fan, attempting to stay professional. But she was. And she wanted to watch them, through the sound check and later on stage. Tonia was making it hard for her mom to either chat or watch. She was an active child, fussing to be let down.

“No, Lovey, I’m too tired to chase you.”

The little girl fussed louder.

Standing, Susie reached her hands toward the child, offering more action. Lisa repeated that she didn’t go to strangers, but Tonia looked at the arms, the woman standing, and reached out for her. Talking for a minute to let her get acquainted, Susie then started edging away. The child didn’t fuss. Lisa’s jaw dropped.

It worked for both of them. Tonia got to move around, first in Susie’s arms and then holding her hand, and Susie got to listen to the band without a voice constantly in her ear.

Blue River stopped too soon, not needing the major adjustment time that Raucous had. Three hours before the show. And Raucous was invited to have dinner with their hosts, as Greg called himself and his band. Susie wondered if they would be able to eat.



Not much, but they did talk. Greg had planted himself beside her with Lisa on her other side. Susie had wanted to argue, to insist on sitting with her boyfriend, but couldn’t quite make herself. Several tables had been pushed together, letting the band members and wives and “advisor,” as Greg entertained himself by continuing to call her, all congregate in the private room they’d reserved at the hotel. Management kept to themselves on the other side of the room. Duncan was across from her, beside Evan. He was still watching Greg, generally amused, but watching.

“So what would make a band call themselves raucous?” Greg focused on Mike.

Their lead looked at Stu, pointing the blame.

“My idea. Cool, huh?” He shoveled another spoonful of chocolate pudding in his mouth.

Greg stared. “You know what the word means, right?”

Their keyboardist swallowed. “Damn, do I look like an idiot? Okay, don’t answer that." He gulped his cola. "Well, okay, the story is that Doug and Mike and I grew up together and since Doug lived way out on a farm, we would crash his place to play. No neighbors to bother. ‘Course we had a different lead then and Mike was on bass, but we kinda pushed this other guy out when we found out the chicks liked Mike’s voice better and we all moved down to Mass to get away from him ‘cause he didn’t wanna back off…”

A nudge from Mike pushed him back on track. “Well, anyway, Doug’s mom always said we were so raucous we were scaring her pigs. So, we decided to stay Raucous in honor of Doug’s mom for putting up with us even when we were still disastrously atrocious.”

Blue River laughed and Susie had to grin, though she’d heard the story. But Stu was so wound up, he was hilarious to watch. She wondered how long he would have gone into more detail if Mike hadn’t stopped him. And not quite correct detail. They hadn’t moved from New Hampshire to Massachusetts to get away from the other guy. They just hadn’t bothered to tell him where they were going.

Greg insisted on hearing enough of the rest of it to find out how Evan and Duncan had appeared, nodding when they said they’d just recently found their current lead guitarist, sliding an arm around the back of Susie’s chair. “So he’s new. That means you’re not too attached yet. Maybe I have a chance.”

Steve yanked on him from his other side. “Man, you better back off. I think he could take you.”

She looked over at Duncan, who moved his eyes from Greg to hers, still silent, then she turned back to Greg. “I think maybe you should find a girl from the audience to invite to Stu’s party tonight.”

“Stu’s party? Are you going to be there?”

“Only if I get the right invite.” She grinned at her boyfriend.