I Might Be Confused About This Story

This is a story written from a list of elements that are posted at the end of the story. I may have been confused about the instructions.

A Story Gone Awry

One day, three blind mice and the farmer’s wife were sitting on the porch of an isolated farm house.

One of the blind mice said, “Isn’t that an alien, a dog and a drunken farmer I see coming down the road?”

“See!” said another of the mice, “You can’t see.”

“I know,” said the first mouse, “But I use the word euphemistically. Besides that, this farmer’s wife doesn’t know we’re blind, ‘cause all us mice run around like we can’t see nothing anyway.”

“Well, how you know it’s an alien, a dog, and a drunken farmer?” the third mouse asked.

“Cause I hear a lot of beeping, you know, like R2D2. And I hear barking and somebody singing Johnny Cash’s memorable hits. What other conclusion can I draw?” he asked.

“Maybe that farmer’s wife done got tired of whacking off our tails with the carving knife and is watching the Cartoon Network,” he said.

“What you mean, ‘whacking off our tails’? She ain’t cut off my tail.”

“You took a look lately?” he asked.

“What you mean, ‘took a look? Man we blind,” the first said.

He felt around and found his leg, then traced it back up to his backside.

“Whoa! Where’d my tail go?”

“I told you, she done whacked it off,” he said. “You should’ve paid attention in school ‘cause we read that story. If you’d paid attention, you would’ve known.”

Just then, the drunken farmer walked up to the security guard standing by the cornfield.

“Can I check a cash here?” he asked.

“Yes sir, you can. Do you have an account with us? You don't? Well, we also have an ATM machine there by the gate you can use. If you have any problems with it, let me know and I’ll get a teller for you.”

“That’s pretty thoughtful,” he said.

“We are a full service cornfield. Think of us for all your cornfield needs, like check cashing, money laundering, loans, Visas and stuff like that,” he said giving a snappy salute.

Suddenly there were noises.

“What’s that noise?” asked the drunken farmer.

“I believe it's assorted machines that have begun buzzing and making other alarming noises. It probably means a flood is coming.”

The guard, acting quickly, grabbed the PA system microphone and said, “Attention shoppers! There has just been an accident and somebody just dropped something. We believe it is a favorite object that is now lost. This will result in a catastrophic flood, in which somebody will be in distress and need to be saved. But don’t panic. Please move quietly and orderly to the isolated farmhouse. Don’t worry about the farmer’s wife. She is harmless unless you’re blind mice. This is your first call, and we will begin boarding shortly, beginning with women and children and those who need assistance. Therefore please let Goldilocks, she has a couple of kids, go first. You pigs get back in line and wait your turn. And by the way, this is your final boarding call.”

There was an uneasiness about the crowd. The wolf looked from side to side before ducking into the line behind the princess.

“Hey, he just cut in line!” shouted the dragon. “That sneaking wolf is trying to cheat!”

“Yeah!” shouted the armed robber, “Somebody call a cop!”

“No, no, I am…a…a doctor and this is my patient,” he said putting his hand on the princess’ shoulder. “I saw she was in distress and I have to calm her and reassure her about this trip.”

“Is that right lady?” the armed robber asked, “Is this guy your doctor?”

The princess look up and saw the handsome wolf looking down at her, smiling with those dreamy eyes.

“Oh, yessss,” she salivated, “Oh yes, doctor, I’m so glad you have arrived. Please check my pulse, my heart is racing. May I lean against you; I feel so weak.”

“Look lady, I’m not looking for a relationship, just to move up in the line ahead of those pigs," he whispered.

“Oh, yes,” she said, “And you've moved up in my line. Do you have a collar? Here, let me clip this leash on you and by the way, are you house broken?”

“Hey, gang, I shouldn’t be allowed to break in line like this,” he shouted, “Ain’t somebody gonna call a cop! Hey, is anybody noticing I'm being kidnapped!”

Yep, the security guard was right. Somebody was in distress and needed to be saved.

Word Count 739

The Elements


Characters:

A. three blind mice & the farmer’s wife
B. a security guard, an armed robber, and a bank teller
C. a couple of kids
D. a doctor & a patient
E. Goldilocks, the three little pigs, & a wolf
F. a knight, a princess, & a dragon
G. an alien, a dog, and a drunken farmer

Settings: