Roots of your being

The roots of "you" are born in childhood;
but what to do when darkness replaced
the memories of what you were and
the reasons of why you became.

You go through life living as expected,
surviving or learning to understand;
because of the darkness you are different
than the ways and thoughts of those I watch.

Flashes of thoughts and pictures invaded your dreams,
sleepless nights of terror of what has been,
live your life as you are, not because of what was
but because of what you learned during the dawn.

Speak to the voices in the dark,
calling your dreams without a thought,
I would have rather never known
that I lost my childhood so long ago.

Why remember these nights,
now that happiness was given to me,
is it the curse that leads me
to question the worth of my identity?

Tired of judgments and accusations,
generalizing women by their experience,
can you not understand that we are not all alike?
That experience changes within the heart;
even among those you see as puppets,
following the lead of what you have set to be
the way they are because of a bad seed.

Happiness has filled my soul,
a loving man that understands my whole,
so different than all those around
that even he is looked in frown.

My laughs and jokes come from within,
my giggles are the joy coming forth;
having fun regardless of who you are,
that is the way that I am among
strangers and friends, it is all the same
enjoying the moment, making all of you grin.

To be judged and questioned because of this,
makes me wonder what it is
that causes all to doubt my true feelings,
that causes all to doubt the way I am.

I stay the same, I will not change.
My fear is not the thoughts you gave,
my only fear is losing the one
that filled my life with so much love.
As long as he is still the same,
believes in me and knows I gave
to him the love I have within
I will be true to him until my death.

Originally written on September 12th, 2002.
http://www.livejournal.com/users/priscamor/28816.html