Pickled Parts is Pickled Parts

Dear Aunt Blabby,
I´ve been thinking about donating my organs after I´m dead. I´m just wondering what I should do if I decide to go on an intensive drinking binge before I croak, and my liver isn´t worth a dime. Can you withdraw your donation in part? Or do you just have to live with it?
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Dearest AL,
An intriguing inqiry, indeed! My response is contingent upon several factors, not the least of which is: by "organs", are you speaking of donating body parts or musical instruments? If the former is the case, Dying While Intoxicated is strongly discouraged in the continental United States and a felony in Flordia. Though the medical community enthusiastically espouses the assertion, "parts is parts"... pickled parts are the pits when wannabe transplant recipients' parts have, you should pardon the expression ~ 'de-parted'. If the latter clarification is the issue at hand, Aunt Blabby strongly counsels that you auction your Wurlitzers on E-bay and spend the proceeds BEFORE the 'loving family members' circling overhead swoop down to pluck them from your pickled carcass.

Regarding premature withdrawal of an already inserted organ ~ if you are making reference to organs of the human kind, bear in mind that orgasm-deprived recipients predictably react in appreciably acerbic ways upon finding themselves abandoned, their G-spots atwitter and the previously pledged organ now beating feet out of Dodge. Premature organ withdrawal at such inopportune moments tends to trigger impressive levels of exasperation ~ and as a method of birth control amounts to nothing short of procreational Russian Roulette.

Adhering to my policy of thoroughness, let me leave you with a final thought: even if you're talking Wurlitzers, partial withdrawal of a donation can be extremely hazardous to the recipient's health. Aunt Blabby strongly advocates a philosophy of prevention in matters of such delicate ilk...

~ Keep America Safe ~ Don't Drink and Donate! ~

Yours in sobering statistics,
Aunt B.

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