Plagued

I've never been one to lay down and die
Although sometimes I wish I could.
Each day I feel the darkness rise within me
But I fight it as I should.
This cruel, wicked demon has plagued me
For most of my ponderous existence
Tempts, tortures the life out of me
Until I have little resistance
And give in to my poor impulse control
And do careless, foolish, sometimes insane things.
Up, up, up, away I go
Until I fall into that black pit of sorrow that
Menacing demon always brings.
I sometimes want to rip my hair out,
Rip my throat out--
Hide myself,
Destroy myself,
Sometimes want to gouge out my eyes.
Wanting, waiting for release
From this seemingly eternal prison.
Running, always running from this thing's
Evil lies
Not even sleep can bring me peace.

I searched for Christ,
I found him--
Our Lord who is risen
But even that peace was short lived.
That blasted demon came back to haunt me
Torture me
Destroy me
Haul me off to that long, dark, goodnight.
I pray
My faith
Is slipping slowly away.
Oh Lord! Where are you?
Take this vile thing away from me!
Make me good,
Make me faithful,
Make me happy.
Bring me peace.