chapter twenty-five

13 May 1974

Watching her across the table, Evan found it excruciating to stay silent and still be sociable. His body convinced him to continue picking at the reuben. The sluggishness wasn’t only from lack of sleep. Excitement building with each show, combined with an increase of the number of fans trying to get to them and news of more stations playing their single, had him buzzing through the days, allowing Susie’s belief of his eventual success to sink in as a real possibility. Food had become an afterthought; something they did as they found time in between the shows, bus rides, publicity photo shoots, and even an interview with one of the radio stations on their route. And they stole a few hours to sleep now and then. His nerves lessened with each time out on the stage, allowing a greater enjoyment of the whole scenario, including having his best friend along for the ride. His two best friends. One of whom was gaining even more of his respect as the craziness of the tour washed over her without causing her to drown, and the other …

An elbow in his side turned his head. “What’s your vote?”

Evan looked at Mike. “On what?”

“Where’ve you been, Man? Didn’t you see her?”

“Who?” Laughter from around him convinced Evan he’d been daydreaming too long. He checked Susie’s face, wondering if she knew he’d been staring, thinking about her. She didn’t show any trace of it if she did.

“Roy’s … newest friend. Don’t tell me you didn’t see her!”

“Oh.” He returned his attention to Mike. “Yeah. Why?”

“While you were apparently in your own world, we’ve been wondering if he bothers to tell them he’s married. Think she knows?”

Evan shrugged. “I think she’ll know if she bothers to ask. His lies are never believable.”

“Damn, then why is she with him? I’m free and single and willing and…” Stu apologized to Susie before she bothered to stop him. “I know. I’m a pig, but did you see her?”

Susie shook her head. “Stu, as you said, you’re single. Don’t think I don’t know guys better than that. Just stick to picking them out for yourself, if you don’t mind.”

Duncan moved his eyes to her, silent. Evan wished he could read his buddy’s thoughts better. Susie had become … more possessive of her boyfriend since the day he’d been late for the bus. And Duncan still hadn’t said anything about where he’d been that morning other than walking. Neither looked like they’d had any sleep the night before. It bothered Evan to no end, and even more so the more possessive she acted.

“Yeah, don’t worry. After you met my mom, she nagged the shit out of me to make sure to be nice to you. If I piss you off now, I’ll never hear the end of it. So no more pointing out girls to your boyfriend. I got it.”

Susie chuckled. “So are they coming to any more shows?”

“Damn, I hope not. Next time, she’ll bring the baby book since she’s adopted you. She’s picture-obsessed.” He stabbed a potato and rolled his eyes while pushing it into his mouth.

“I know. She had an album in her purse.” Susie sipped her iced tea.

“Oh, hell.” Stu dropped the fork.

Mike and Doug looked over at her, waiting.

“You were all so cute when you were young.” She grinned at Mike and Stu’s equal expressions of consternation and reached into her shoulder bag. “I even have proof.”

“No, you don’t. She didn’t…”

Evan watched her lift a photo into the air, amongst arguments from Mike and Stu and disguised laughter from the waitress refilling their drinks.

Duncan reached over to ask her for it, without speaking, and studied it a moment. “Damn, Stu, were y’ ou’ of diapers here?” He pulled it out of the keyboardist’s reach.

“Well, how in the hell am I supposed to know if I don’t know which one she has? Give that to me.” He lunged for it again, not quickly enough.

Susie took it back. “This is mine. Your mom gave it to me.” She turned it toward Evan. “Isn’t that a great shot?”

He could barely see it across the table. She handed it to him. Before he got a good look, Mike pulled it from his fingers.

“Shit.” He showed Stuart. “Who else has your mom given this to?”

“She doesn’t give pictures away. She just carries them everywhere.”

“Yeah, well, she gave this one away.”

“To me. Can I have that back, please?”

“Hell, no. I don’t want everyone seeing this.”

Her face clouded. “Mike, I’ve had it since Wednesday – for five days. If I were going to show it to everyone, I wouldn’t have waited until we were alone to pull it out.”

“How do I know you haven’t before?”

“I wouldn’t embarrass you in front of anyone else. Does it really matter to you that I showed Evan and Duncan?”

Mike looked at her, not answering, but not returning it. Doug asked to see which picture they were going on about. He accepted it from Mike, glanced at it while holding it where Evan could see, then handed it back to Susie. She smiled in thanks. Mike fussed at him.

“What does it matter? It’s not like your looks have improved.” Doug stopped the discussion.

Stu went back to the conversation about Roy’s date as though nothing had happened, eventually pulling Mike back in, but Susie stayed quiet, put off by Mike’s insinuation. Evan knew she adored him, for the most part, but was irritated by his occasional comments to her. He didn’t like them, either, but had stopped saying much to his roommate since Mike pulled away whenever Evan spoke up about him being too rude. He felt treasonous to Susie for staying quiet, even now, but less so since she had a boyfriend at her side. Duncan didn’t say anything to Mike, either.

****

Greg insisted they all come over to Blue River’s suites after the show. They had the next day off, other than some interview by a local paper late in the afternoon. Evan tried to refuse and attempted to convince Susie to go back and get some sleep instead, also. She’d argued, saying she was too hyped from the show and the fan reaction to be able to sleep, anyway. And Greg kept his arm around her, pushing her to go to his party. Evan went along, since she agreed. Jack Jordan had arranged for them to finally be in the same hotel as the host band for the rest of the tour. How he overcame Roy’s objection to the extra expense, Evan didn’t have a clue, even though they were in regular rooms and not the large suites Blue River had booked well in advance. At least it would be easier after the party not to have to cross town.

Mike hadn’t completely dismissed the earlier grudge. Evan couldn’t imagine why he would want to be front man for a band when he was so opposed to having his picture taken and shown. But he and Susie avoided each other as much as possible while floating around and between the suites with forty-something other people, as well as Evan could guess. Duncan joked with the lead when he had the chance, and at the same time kept a hand on Susie. Every time Evan had been around them, his buddy’s hand was on her; touching her arm or back or her neck…. With her hair up in a loose bun, the delicate curves of her neck bared, and her trained dancer’s movements, she emanated elegance. Such a contrast to Duncan. His way of moving was refined, but otherwise, it was hard for Evan to see him in any way other than he first had – sweaty hair hanging down over an old bandana, leather vest over a T-shirt with holes beginning at the neck, and going with girls who were too apparently in bars too often. Even tonight, he was wearing his old jeans that had only strings running across one of the knees. And Susie didn’t leave his side; not once since they had arrived at the suites had Evan seen them apart.

“Where are you today?” Her voice reached out to him.

He met her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“Evan, like Mike said earlier, you’re kind of in your own world. You’re sure not here with us. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, I’m….”

“Tired. Are you sleeping okay?”

Tired. Evan supposed it was best to let her think that was it. He couldn’t tell her his thoughts, regardless of how much he wanted to share them. He wanted to tell her that Duncan had been out at four in the morning the other day and ask whether she knew. He wanted to warn her that the other guys had been questioning just how close she was to him, that he’d heard from Tony about Greg’s constant conquests and that she was one of them. That he didn’t like how much she was pulling away from him. He couldn’t.

“Evan?” She touched him, his arm. And her boyfriend was just behind her.

“I’m fine, Suse. Just thinking about things. You know, this is all….”

“Kind of hard to believe.”

“Yeah.”

She smiled. “Stop thinking so much and just enjoy it. You’ve earned this.”

“Come dance with me, Beautiful.” Greg grasped her arm, pulled her away. “I hear you could teach me a few things.” He winked.

She questioned him with raised eyebrows, moving her head further from his face.

“Stu is a riot when he’s drinking. Likes to talk.” Greg smirked. “Said you’re a dancer – a teacher.”

Susie lowered her head. Evan couldn’t imagine what she had to hide that it mattered what Stu would say. Duncan stood watching them, not interfering, even when she gave in and agreed to a dance. It was a moderately quick beat, not a slow dance, not a song that Susie especially liked. She had fussed the year before when their station consistently streamed “Love Train” through the airwaves. It didn’t seem to bother her at the moment, though. Greg was pushing close. She was laughing at him. At his jerky movements, Evan guessed. He had assumed Greg’s stage dancing was an act. Apparently, it wasn’t.

A hand touched his shoulder from behind, slid down his chest. He looked back to see the girl’s face.

“Hi, I’m Jennifer. Wanna buy me a drink?” She moved to his side, pushing her breasts against his arm, sliding the hand around to his other shoulder.

Duncan chuckled and excused himself, heading away, closer to where Susie was still dancing with Greg. The girl took it as a welcome sign and moved in front of him. Evan stepped back and took her drink order. Beer. Any kind. He didn’t like beer on a girl’s breath, but agreed to find her one. She stuck to him, refusing to allow possible escape. He hadn’t planned on escaping.

**

Duncan sipped his beer, watching Greg continue to press in closer to Susie, checking her response, wondering if he had a chance. He’d seen enough guys asking without asking to know what this guy was doing. Hell, he’d done it himself often enough. So far she had only agreed to dance with Greg to upbeat songs, walking away when it turned slow. And never more than one at a time. She kept returning to stand or sit with Duncan. That should have given Greg enough of a clue.

“He’s trying to cut in on her, you know.”

He looked over at Tony. “They are just dancin’.”

“You don’t know Greg well. Steve keeps telling him to back off. I don’t think he plans to, though.” He motioned to them with his glass, nearly losing the slice of lime propped on the ridge. “That’s why we lost the band that’s supposed to be here. Greg was messin’ around with the keyboardist’s wife during the last tour.”

Duncan resented the insinuation. “And the wife objected?”

“Nah, she didn’t, but the keyboardist did.”

“Well, if his wife didn’t object, I think he has bigger issues than Greg.”

“And you’ll still think that if she doesn’t object?”

The drummer’s smirk annoyed the hell out of him. “Band mates should be more loyal t’ each other. And we are no’ married. It is her choice.” The music changed. A slow one. He looked over to see Susie begin walking away from Greg. Her choice. He set the beer on the table behind him, noting Greg stop her, grabbing her arm, trying to convince her to stay. She shook her head.

“Excuse me.” Duncan moved away from Tony, through the crowd, claiming her side. “Can I cut in?”

She smiled. Greg released her. Diana Ross’s voice pervaded the room as Susie wrapped around him, her lips next to his ear. “Stay closer.” Her voice was a near whisper through the noise of the room. “Greg is a bit out of it.”

Her choice. Her choice was not to allow Greg to get too close. He nodded, lowering his hand to her waist, allowing his fingers to slide just underneath her blouse to feel her skin.

She raised her head to kiss him. Lightly first, and again with more strength. Then she met his eyes. “Can we find somewhere quieter after this dance?”

He nodded again, though he felt it would be safer if they stayed in the middle of the crowd. Diana’s “Touch Me in the Morning” was more encouragement than he needed.

Making their way out of the crowd, they found Ev to let him know they were leaving and to see if he wanted to walk back with them. The same girl was still hanging onto his arm. He seemed not sure how to answer.

Steve pushed another beer toward Duncan.
He shook his head. “We are gettin’ ou’ of here.”

“Again? C’mon, Man, we’re off tomorrow, or today I guess I should say.” He glanced at Susie. “If she’s tired, walk her to her room and come on back. The party’s still hoppin’. I’m sure Lisa’s long asleep by now, too, but Tony’s here … somewhere.” He pushed the beer at him again.

“It’s okay.” Susie snuggled closer. “We don’t have to go.”

“I can walk her back if you want to stay.”

Duncan’s eyes shot to Ev’s. Why would he offer that? He didn’t appear to be trying to get away from the girl.

“No, it’s okay. I’m fine.” Susie looked up at him. “Think they have ginger ale around here anywhere?”

Duncan relaxed. “We can go find one where it’s quieter.”

Steve shoved the beer into his hand. “I’ll find one. Stay put.” He was gone before Duncan could stop him. He didn’t want the drink. He’d had enough. Lifting it, silently asking Ev what in the hell he was supposed to do with it, he accepted the offer from the girl beside his buddy and handed it over. She purposely touched his fingers while taking it, smiling. He looked away.

A shove against Susie’s other side took his attention, but he held back from cursing about the rudeness when he saw that it was Greg. He also held back from telling him to go find some other girl to hit on, barely.

“Hey, Beautiful. Ready to dance again?”

She pulled her head back from the smoke released with his breath. “No, thank you.”

“He won’t mind. It’s not a slow one. And I’ll bring you right back.” He stumbled over nothing and held up a hand hanging onto a small roll of smoking brown paper. “He can borrow this while I’m borrowing you, unless you want to try it first.”

Duncan clenched his jaw. He knew there were joints somewhere in the room, but so far the smell hadn’t been too close to them.

She shook her head, tried to pull it further from the trail of smoke.

“C’mon, Baby.” His arm dropped over her shoulder, pulling the joint closer to her face.

Pushing the hand back further while Susie turned her head in toward him, Duncan started to tell Greg to take it elsewhere. But Ev jumped in, pulling Greg from her. Duncan watched him, warning the other guy that she didn’t need to be around that shit and to keep it away. Telling him not to bother hitting on her because it wasn’t going to happen.

Steve returned with a ginger ale in hand and stepped in to try to defuse the situation, joking with Evan that Greg wasn’t serious. He just liked to flirt. Greg laughed about some other guy defending Duncan’s girlfriend, wondering if Duncan didn’t have the nerve to do it himself.

He stayed quiet. If any other guy had just stepped in, Duncan would have taken him out of the way. He wouldn’t do it to his friend, though. Instead, he listened to the joking and the remarks while attempting not to be angry at Ev. He was used to protecting Susie. It was just habit, nothing personal. He hoped it was nothing personal, anyway.

She accepted the drink from Steve with a light thank you. Greg tried again to get her to dance. When she refused, he tried to offer Duncan a joint as an apology for the joking. He refused, also. Greg pushed, insisting he owed him the apology.

“Do no’ worry abou’ it.”

“C’mon, Guy, we still have a few days to go. I can’t have you pissed at me the rest of the time.”

“I am no’ pissed off a’ you. Jus’ do me a favor an’ keep tha’ away from her.”

Greg laughed. “Why? You don’t want your buddy beating me up for you?”

“Knock it off.” Ev’s voice was calmer but Greg laughed again.

Duncan cringed. It was bad enough for him to jump in for Susie. Ev sure as hell didn’t need to defend him. He met his friend’s gaze, questioning…

“Let’s go.” Susie grasped his arm, pleading with her eyes. “Please.”

He nodded, told the others they were leaving, glanced at Ev again, then navigated through the bodies and out of the suite.

She was quiet as they walked through the hallway, waited on the elevator, and stepped in around a couple that was getting out. They were alone, finally, and she remained quiet. Duncan wanted to ask what she was thinking, if he had handled it wrong, if … if she believed he wouldn’t defend her as well as Ev had. She had to know better.

He couldn’t begin to think of what to say, how to start the conversation. So he just walked with her to her door, reaching into his pocket to pull out the key he’d carried for her. He unlocked it, pushed the door open far enough to switch on the light, and waited.

She still didn’t speak.

“Can I walk y’ in enough t’ check your room?”

She met his eyes, nodded, and followed him. Then she closed the door.

Satisfied they were alone, Duncan moved closer, but not enough to connect with her skin. “Are y’ okay? He ran into y’ pretty hard.”

“Yeah, he was kind of…”

“Obnoxious.”

She chuckled. “I’m glad you cut in on us.”
“I was watchin’ him.”

“I know. I wouldn’t have danced with him otherwise.” She grasped his lower arm, sliding her fingers down to find his hand. “You didn’t mind, right? I mean … you know…”

He touched her face. “I know y’ kept comin’ back t’ me.” Her face moved closer, beckoning. He met her lips. Diana’s song ran through his head again. Susie’s body pulled in next to his. His control wavered. He moved back. “I’m goin’ t’ go. G’ night, Babe.” Her eyes showed puzzlement, but he couldn’t explain.

With the closing of her door, he waited to hear the chain lock. Then he stood, breathing for a moment before going to his own room.

**

Susie stood by the closed door, tempted to open it again to see if he was still there, to invite him back in. She’d wanted to talk, to just sit and let the noise in her brain dissolve, the commotion from the show and the party to wear into a thin haze. Their parting was too abrupt. He was upset with Evan, but she wasn’t quite sure why. Evan overreacted. It was one of his few faults. Duncan had to know that about him. But she respected the way Duncan kept it to himself, not rising to Greg’s bait. She appreciated that he didn’t overreact. And she hoped there wouldn’t be trouble between the friends.