Cliches and Abstractions in Poems

Abstractions can sink a poem. An abstraction takes a broad term that paints different pictures in each person's mind, such as: "She's beautiful," instead of telling us what the artist sees.

Notice the clear detail in Raymond Chandler's "The High Window:"

"Dark hair parted loosely in the middle and drawn back loosley over a solid piece of forehead. A wide, go-to-hell mouth with very kissable lips. Nice nose, not too large, not too small. Good bone all over the face."

The author never tells us she was attractive, but the description leaves no doubt, and provides a description that would allow the reader to pick her out of a crowd.

Abstractions tend to be problems because they force our experiences into stereotypes, allow for little ambiguity, discount our individual experience and result in thousands of almost identical poems.

Taking the last point first: Scroll though any on-line website or go to many coffee house events. You'll hear what sounds like the same poems:

1) The love poem:

"I love you more than anything I've known.
And now my life will never be the same.
Every day is heaven in your arms."

2) The breakup:
"You tore my heart with hands of fire,
and ran me through the shredder of desire.
Our life together was a song.
I thought you loved me -- was I wrong"

3. Teenage angst:
"No one understands me.
Death and skulls.
I'm ugly and people hate me --
but I hate them and I don't care.
My brain has pain.
It cuts like a knife.
End my life.


4. The nature:
"The birds are cheering the rainbow sunset,
The beautiful blue day
And children dance on the grass."

These poems live in a world with no ambiguity -- no mixed feelings. I doubt they even offer effective therapy because they are essentially dishonest. Instead of telling us why we love or hate something, or something is lovely or ugly, describe it so readers can make up their own mind.

Take for example, Frost's:

Dust of Snow
The way a crow
Shook down on me
The dust of snow
From a hemlock tree

Has given my heart
A change of mood
And saved some part
Of a day I had rued.

The image of the crow shaking the cloud of dust on the poet is so sharp, Frost never needs to tell us it it was funny or pleasant. He lets the reader share in the experience.

Instead of saying it made him happy, he tells us it saved part of the day. By sparse use of abstractions, he gives us an honest picture of his -- and our -- fluctuating and impure emotions.

He could have relied on abstractions:

One day I was sad.
A crow made me glad.

The worst abstraction is the cliche, because it often encompasses an entire sentence. It's common to see an entire poem made of cliches:

She said she'd love me 'til the end of time.
Her promise wasn't worth a dime.
I'm sleeping single in a double bed,
because she was only playing with my head.

The saddest part of cliches is they end up doing our thinking for us. For example, if someone has three mistakes in a row, he might conclude: "I'm having one of those days," and act accordingly. Someone could dismiss a new idea by saying, "If it ain't broke don't fix it," or "I don't want to reinvent the wheel." Cliches prevent people from relying on their own experience, denying them their individuality.

Think of your favorite poems. Do they rely heavily on broad abstractions or use details to paint a vivid picture?