Healing the Wound

Healing the Wound

         Hopefully you have read my bio folder so I will not bore you with issues of my divorce. Just know, I am divorced and remarried.
         It started about three weeks ago while going over chapter 17 of Breaking Free by Beth Moore in our Wednesday night ladies class at church. I knew this book would be difficult for me but I never dreamed it would help me to deal with issues on this level.
         The teacher for that class spoke of her pain when her father left and how hard it was to get over that. We then went over "Heartbreak in Childhood" in the next two chapters which spoke of child abuse. I was never abused as a child but it brought forth the lonliness I still felt from not having a father around. I went home that night and wept bitterly out of the lonliness and pain of my father leaving. Him leaving to be with another woman. Left his family to be with another family. I cried for a very long time and wept out the pain.
         We have been studying how wounds in our hearts are like those in our flesh. When fresh they bleed and sometimes hemorrhage depending on the deep the cut. The cut of divorce is very deep. It hemorrhaged but it scabbed over without proper care. This was causing blood poison in my spiritual blood. It pulsed through me and I became very bitter and angry. Wanting my ex-husband dead. He saw his friend killed at work and I wondered why it could not have been him. The poison of hatred went throughout my spiritual body.
         But when God helped me to admit that I was still hurting from my father (whom I have only met once) and that was also keeping me from forgiving my ex, it was then that God removed gently the scab over my heart and the wound was allowed to bleed freely once again. It was painful but it had to be done to remove the impurities that lay beneath the surface. God put His healing hand upon the wound and applied pressure. This began the healing process.
         The wound is still sore but I am working through it like you walk on your leg to excercise it after the muscles have been cut. But the wound is healing properly. I have experienced God's healing hand upon me and I feel free once again. Just as I felt when first coming out of the waters of baptism walking as a new creature and being freed from the bondage of sin, I am freed from the bondage of hatred and poison which once infested by heart and blood.
         PRAISE GOD AND GLORY TO HIS NAME! The liberty bell is ringing and my heart answers the call!
         I no longer hate but have compassion on him who hurt me so deeply. I now pray for him to come to Christ to experience the freedom and forgiveness so that my Father in Heaven may be glorified!
         Now God requests two things from me...(1) to have a meal with my ex and express my forgiveness and that I no longer blame him and (2) to contact my father to try to mend that relationship. If neither work out then that is fine but God only asks me to take the lead.