My Box

My Box


It's really disturbing, but I do not know me.
Can I believe what I know and see?
Mother, lover, daughter, friend and nurse.
These things you see, but deep down is it worse?

I try to be honest, loyal, loving and give all that I can.
Even while doing this, I still can't understand.
Why feelings of loneliness, mistrust, self- consciousness, doubt
irritability and loathing all want to come out.

I constantly second-guess myself and most others.
From, "Did I lock the door?", to "Am I a good mother?"
I'm quick to anger; I'm quick to cry.
It's sometimes easier to give up with a sigh.

I have my many comfort zones,
I know in my box I'm all alone.
It's just easier to stay in here,
Away from you and all that I fear.
Tammy