The Need to Succeed

Oh those “thank you” notes! The most coveted pieces of paper in my grade 2 class. Lies and half-truths of good deeds floated out of children’s mouths to be given the honour of receiving paper covered with the magical words “thank you.” I never really knew where I put them or what I did with them. I simply remember the deep pride I felt when I got one for being silent when the class roared. We had let our obedience and desires be molded within the cage walls of the classroom. The reward we were given became synonymous with the need to succeed and was instilled at that young, tender age. The school became the breeding place of the aggressive pursuit for success.

By grade 4, reading had become a popular thing to do. At the end of each month whoever read the most book pages won a prize. I was overcome with a powerful desire to win that reading prize. Sadly, my dedication to reading a book and a half a day was not enough to win. Months rolled by and I never was the winner. I began to add imaginary numbers to the pages I had already read to hopes that I would win that prize. It took me a while to realize that my classmates had outcheated me.
“How many pages did you read?”
“Uh… well one million six hundred seventy two thousand and twenty three,” my classmate said.
“How is that possible?”
“I read many books at the same time.”
The teacher proceeded to record the outrageous number.

Success had morphed from a prize to a number near the end of elementary school. The classroom transformed into a vicious jungle where students crept along the walls to glance at other’s work and to pilfer answers while having to protect theirs at the same time. Whoever had the highest number was shunned and the students swarmed them in hopes that they could take some. The phone calls were torture. I would go through the homework multiple times and “help” for hours before I could begin to start my own homework. During their attempt to gobble the knowledge, I told them to stop but they wouldn’t. Their thirst was too strong and I kept accepting the calls. When I refused to be used any longer I was accused of being a bad friend, and of being greedy.

Is the world such a cold harsh place as well? Yes, we live in a society where we are raised to cheat and lie to each other. There are workers’ in sweatshops being paid pennies in appalling conditions even though their work is worth millions of dollars collectively. Ever heard of stock fraud? Investors’ money is passed about without their knowledge or consent. Ancient forests are cut down with profit more in mind than our planet’s health or the homes of the creatures live there. How far does the destruction caused for the need to succeed go?

In high school, where I am now, I live in a totally different environment. Students are caged in small cubicles given nothing but books. I see them clawing themselves to keep stay awake to study the books. In class, we read an example essay prior to writing my own. The writer had asked herself what she wanted and put wanting straight A’s before world peace. This bothered me. My friends have put their marks before their own well being like the writer. I watch as they tear the hair off their scalps, starve, and work sleepless nights. When the days draw closer to due dates and deadlines they become rabid wolves, snapping at everything and everyone near them. It scares me. When I watch them convince themselves that they are failing but are in reality they are doing exceptional, it makes me angry. They let themselves crumble but choose to speed up the process. Why? To be a living sacrifice in the name of success? How is that fair?

Those “thank you” notes? I found them on some shelf and they have most probably become napkins or toilet paper. I don’t care for all the times I stayed in for recess to mop the floor and clear the messes of others. Nothing can duplicate the excitement of sledding down a hill, making a new friend, or being given new knowledge. Don’t aim for the “thank you” notes, the prize, or for the number. Set your eye on a greater goal. To help society, the world, the universe, to care and love one another, and to care for yourself.