Matthew's Fourth Year Letter

January 18,2005

Dear Matthew,

          Today is your fourth birthday. This past year has been full of many experiences for both you and me. As the year began, you spent New Year's with not only Daddy and I, but also Grandpa and Grandma Kula and Aunt Donna. They came up to spend New Year's with us and celebrate your birthday. You made out like a bandit with clothes, books, and toys and games.

          You were still working with Sylvia Brantley from Saginaw ISD. She told Daddy and I that you were making great progress. It was her opinion that you were immediately ready to enter preschool at Arrowwood Elementary. I was quite excited, but your father was apprehensive and wanted to wait another year. After many discussions and arguements, a compromise was reached. A meeting would be set up with the teacher that you would have and you would start in the fall. It was understood that when Sylvia's time ended and we had the meeting, she would not be coming to the apartment any longer.

          Easter, my birthday, Shadow's and Daddy's birthdays came and you helped in getting some nice gifts. For me, you and Daddy and Shadow got me a nice nightshirt to wear, For Shadow, you got her some more treats and a new ball. For Daddy, you, Shadow and I got him some more work pants. He was in sad need for them.

          In early May, we had the meeting with the lady who would be your first school teacher. Her name was Kelly Kiss. We took you with us. You were very shy but were totally taken with the train that was in the room. I was the one who asked Kelly questions about her background and credentials. Daddy just sat there and did not think she needed to be asked anything. I feel that if I, as your mother, am putting your education and welfare into someone else's hands, I need to know what that person is about. I remember asking you what you thought about the room and Miss Kelly. I was trying to get you to talk more and also to let us know your opinion. This was the first time you expressed an interest in trains, and that has stayed with you now while I write this.

          As the summer wore on it was quite cold. It was more like early spring. You were wearing more long pants and jeans than shorts and tank tops. Your toilet training has been very slow. I am at my wits end. Back in January, when you went for your yearly check-up, Dr. Dawais did not seem alarmed, but I know I was. I am still trying to find a way to get you to advance instead of regress.

          We were planning on going to see Grandma and Grandpa at the lake sometime in the summer. Since we received the paperwork for you to begin school at the end of August, we were going to go before then. We decided to go when it was Grandma's birthday. We went for a boat ride amd you had a blast. Aunt Donna came unexpectedly, and you were very excited. She is your walking buddy. You hardly ate anything while we were there. Grandma made homemade spaghetti-something I know you love. Later, we had pot roast, potatoes, carrots, and salad. We only stayed for a day since Shadow was home alone. During August, you and Daddy made a trip to see the Detroit Tigers. It was free backpack day, so you had a pack to take to school.

          As the end of summer approached and fall was to begin, I knew that a new chapter in your life was to begin-going to school. One of the sheets in the packet that we received was a list of what was needed for you to bring to school. We made a trip to Sam's Club to get most of the items. When August 25, 2004 arrived, Daddy looked like Santa with everything that was to be taken. I had a few tears in my eyes when you left. My little boy is growing up. When you returned a few hours later, on the bus, I asked you how you liked going to school. At first, you were somewhat bewildered. I expected that. As the days and weeks progressed, you started to open up and tell me the names of some of your classmates. There was Erin, Lily, Hope, JJ, Gabe, Jeffrey, and Derrick. Soon, you were saying that Erin ws your girlfriend, and Jeffrey was your best buddy. That made me happy to know that you were making friends.

          Halloween was somewhat uneventful. You did win a 50# pumpkin at Meijer's for a coloring contest. You dressed up as Beethovan the dog again this year. Daddy took you to the mall, but this time, you didn't bring home much candy. That was because Daddy had to work and he got home late. I thought that with Christmas coming, you would have plenty of candy. You dressed up both for your class party at Arrowwood, as well as, your class at church. You also began classes in the GIFT {Growing In Faith Together}program.

          Thanksgiving was quiet. I came down for dinner this year as opposed to last year. I was hurting, but I managed. By this time, you enjoyed school so much that you did not take to having days off too well. You were getting to know your classmates, and by this time a couple new kids were added to the group. Their names were Brian and Chris. You were even invited to your first birthday party. It was for your classmate, Hope Welch. You gave her a Barbie doll.

          One of the things that you kept asking me was to have Jeffrey and Gabe over for a play date. I told you that I would inquire with Miss Kelly as to how to get that started. You have been a great help with me and the walker. Since you started school, I would first come down in the early morning before you left so that I would be down when the bus arrived. Maria, the bus driver, would not let you off the bus if I did not open the door to let her know that I was there. That was a safety precaution for you. Now, I come down just before you come home and can get down on my own. Getting back up is the problem. You have been great there too. You've taken the walker up for me.

          Christmas was also quiet. I, again, came down to open gifts, and eat dinner like a family. First, we opened gifts and took pictures and some video. One of the gifts you got was the Leap Pad+ Writing System and some books and cartridges. Those will serve you well, and you will be able to use them until you are well into grade school. You also received more Legos, Lincoln Logs, more Hot Wheels cars, clothes, and Caryola Color Wonder fingerpaints. I think your father getting a video camera was a waste of time and money. He doesn't know how to use it, and will not try to read the directions to learn how. We have hardly any video of you when you were a baby. I wanted to catch your first words on video and put it away for posterity. Soon after dinner, I went back upstairs. I wish this leg would get better so that I can participate in every day life more.

          I have missed out on so much with you Matthew that it makes me cry. It is not fair to you. You should have a mother who is able to get on the floor and play Hot Wheels and build with Legos with you. I cannot do that. I am so sorry honey. Well, so ends another year of your life. I wonder what 2005 will bring for you.

I love you Matthew,
Mommy