I Wish I Knew

I hate the way I am right now,
Feeling sad and rather lost,
For a while I was too happy.
Now I have paid the cost.
I've almost been too lucky,
Loving means I feel the pain,
Now I know what losing means,
Will I ever feel whole again?

I picture my last time with you,
Helpless, I held you as you died,
Since that night I've missed you,
Many bitter tears I've cried.
Time heals, things will get better,
People tell you to believe,
That all will come right in time,
Death, mere words can not relieve.

I'm angry at you for leaving,
I know you didn't want to go,
But I am angry just the same,
Why? I can't say, just know,
This desolate heart is hurting,
My tears are for you and me,
I wish I knew the answers,
Then this pain might set me free.