Riddle: A Woman And Menopause

I look in the mirror and still recognize the reflection, but have no idea who I am on the inside. One moment I’m a calm, sane, tender, and loving woman. The next, I’m wound as tight as a rubber band and ready to snap. I’m screaming at everyone within ear shot for no apparent reason. My memory has taken a leave of absence. I walk into a room and can’t remember what I came after. I can go from crying tears of joy to tears of unhappiness and desperation in a split second, and absolutely nothing has happened to me. I live in a constant state of confusion, not sure if I’m coming or going. My husband isn’t sure if he is living with Mother Teresa or Leona Hemsley.

Hot flashes, now there’s an understatement. My heart rate increases; my entire body becomes warmer and warmer until I feel I’ve been set on fire. My husband, fears some night I will combust and go up in flames. He has taken out additional life insurance. The moisture on my skin then works like an air conditioner and I almost have icicles hanging off me.

My husband used to be able to read my thoughts. That’s become impossible. I can’t even read my thoughts. Neither of us know if the answer to a simple question will be yes or no. It’s an ongoing surprise as to what I will do or not do.

When I first met my husband we saw a woman wearing a t-shirt that said, “I’m out of estrogen and I have a gun.” He laughed. I said, “That’s not funny.” He now understands and marks his calendar to ensure I refill my prescription.

Oh, Dear, I’m getting warmer and warmer. Riddle, what is this all about. I have an urge to throw my computer out the window. Best I exit and go stick my head in the freezer.